deernet | The Great Paleblood Bake Off

[ After a busy month of prep work, thanks to the help of Sleepers: It’s finally here, the days of the competition. In a converted space within The Red, thanks to Luna asking Madam Generosity for permission, the Bakers are working hard to produce baked goods containing fruits for the Sleepers. These delicious treats will battle away Corruption and Beasthood, and will be shared out amongst Sleepers.

Through the use of K’s excellent work in broadcasting the competition, the camera happens across the Bakers during the competition to ask for a moment of their time to give a brief interview for the folks watching at home. But first, what’s going on?? Well, never fear — there’s two Sleepers to explain that to you all! ]

Tory’s outfit consists of a bright yellow blazer, a gold necklace, fitted black shirt, and a pair of black and white pants. She’s honestly not entirely sure of what the right thing to say is, operating under a ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ philosophy and channeling all of her confidence into a friendly smile. If she can sing and tell stories at kids’ parties, she can do this.]

Good morning to all the people with a sweet tooth out there! For those sleeping in today, you snooze you lose! Sucks to be you. We have a day of sweets and treats ahead of us, made by our very own Paleblood Sleepers. I’m Tory, and this is my co-host Michael, who’s going to fill you in on all the details.

[Michael’s dressed to the nines, all in pastels. He claps his hands together and grins winningly.]

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Great Paleblood Bake-Off! This week, sixteen of our most talented Palebloods will be competing to impress our judges with their best fruity desserts! The winner will be sharing their delicious treats with other Sleepers to help fight off the scourge of corruption, and the losers will be subjected to a hilarious public comedy roast - oh, no? Are we not doing that? Well, they can also share their bakes, but without a very cool trophy, created by our good friend Paimon!

This morning’s judges are Allen, Gaia, and Megumi! This afternoon we'll have Snow, Maul and Sato. And today, our bakers will be presenting them with…”a dessert that reminds you of home!” Alright, that isn’t depressing at all! Here, we go, bakers! Squid eyes, fish hearts, can’t lose!

Dipper Pines

[It takes a minute for Dipper to respond because he is extremely focused on double checking his ingredients. When he does notice he's being addressed, he snaps to attention, flinging one of his spoons across the room. He coughs, tugging on his necktie like that didn't happen at all.]

Baking? Yeah! I uh, I started to learn so I could help my family out. They're here, actually-- [Dipper actually gets cut off by what is extremely loud chanting from behind him.]

[In the audience is the Pines Family chanting at a steadily growing volume: PINES! PINES! PINES! PINES!]

[Mabel, his twin sister, screams something along the lines of Win that baking thing, Dipper!! and then picks up something that looks like a ...cannon? With a boom a burst of glitter and confetti blasts into the air. It rains down on Dipper and the presenters.]

[Over the Pines chanting is a very loud, distinct YEEEEHAW from the tall, bespectacled man sitting with them. Dipper has an incredibly serene look on his face as he brushes some of the confetti off his shoulder.]

Their support is very important to me.

Luna Lovegood

[ Luna is staring dreamily off camera for a long moment, flour smeared on her cheek. If someone’s asked her a question, it would appear she might not be listening. Despite the tension in the atmosphere of the competition, she seems quite at ease. And then, suddenly: ]

I like baking, it’s fun. [ Her eyebrows raise before she adds: ] Organising this was a bit stressful, so it’s actually quite nice to just bake. I’m having a nice time.

[ Her smile brightens considerably. ]

… But I'm especially looking forward to eating a lot of pudding at the end.

Viktor

[viktor apparently thinks baking attire includes an apron and also a pair of dark lensed goggles high on his forehead. it might be for the blowtorch he's testing with a flash of fire and a tilt of the head, but then again the goggles aren't over his damned eyes so who knows.]

This competition? Oh, a good cause yes, and eh... what do you call it? 'Shit show,' probably.

[he gestures with the torch, unlit at least, as he speaks. the camera person uneasily steps back.] I am fairly certain a great many of us have started learning to bake this month. I will consider it a testament to the sad state of affairs amongst Palebloods if I make it past the first round.

Wrench

[When the camera first finds him, Wrench, like many others, has no idea he’s meant to introduce himself. It’s the impact on his blood that compelled him to sign up after all, and not any real familiarity with the source material. He barely glances up from the assortment of bushels organized on the table before him. Each one overflows with ingredients: from fresh-picked, sun-ripened fruit to bundles of foraged herbs to bags of flour and sugar. Some of the contents have been labeled with the name of their respective contestants, while others are free for the taking. Despite his thoughtful scowl, Wrench is perfectly happy to share anything that could benefit this endeavor.

By the time the camera pans back the second time, he realizes what’s expected. Sans apron, the tall man wipes his hands down the front of his shirt and starts to sign. Those in the immediate vicinity might struggle to understand, but onscreen the captions appear faithfully beneath his image:]

My strategy? I’m going to give my bakes a little something extra.

Chizuru Yukimura

[ Maybe no one told Chizuru that there would be an introduction. It would explain why she suddenly looks like she’s been shoved out in front of a crowd of hungry lions, her eyes wide and her facial expression completely flustered. At least she looks cute with her apron on, and like she fits here at a baking competition, but other than that Chizuru looks totally caught off guard. ]

Oh.. I.. um! [ sputter, sputter.

After a moment she at least manages to bow. ]

I just.. hope everyone can have fun..! [ Apparently that’s all she got without full on tripping over her tongue. ]

Sansa Stark (Alayne Stone)

[Sansa laughs nervously, a grey linen apron over her elbow-length dress in black cotton embroidered with dragonflies. Lady sits at her feet in a matching collar, huffing happily.]

I never dreamed I’d be on Bake Off. I only started baking when I came here a few months ago; I just hope I survive the first round.

[her station has a little flour and sugar spilled in places, but she expertly halves and juices a yuzu into a bowl, then glances back up at the camera to smile somewhat ruefully. Something seems to occur to her.]

Oh! If any other Palebloods are watching, you must remember to come to the tent, we’re all going to make fruit preserves after this!

[the ‘tent’ is inside the Red.]

Ryan Akagi

[Ryan tugs on the front of his apron as though he’s popping a collar that isn’t actually there and he grins at the camera.]

I’m a simple man. A simple brownie man. You could say I’m something of a brownie expert back where I come from, soooo that makes me pretty stiff competition!

[From behind the camera, Min-Gi “PSST”s at him and the mic catches his words– “Ryan! You’re supposed to be baking something with fruit in it! That’s the whole point!” Ryan looks like it’s maybe the first time he’s absorbed that information.]

–Wait, what?

[The recording abruptly cuts off there.]

Usagi Tsukino

[Usagi waves excitedly and is smiling big and wide with a bit of a blush on her cheeks.]

Oh my gosh! I can’t believe I’m doing this! I love watching this show so much and now I’m in it! [Softly she says to herself: What was Luna even thinking having me on this?]

I’m sure everyone is going to try their best and that’s what I really love about this show, ya know? Everyone is always so nice and kind on it and even if I don’t get far, I’m really excited to be trying this new thing!

I wish everyone the best of luck! Let’s make yummy bakes!

Jason Kolchek

[Thanks to Luna’s tip, he watched a bit of the show first and knew he was going to be interviewed. He found a chef’s hat to wear and an apron that reads “My Kitchen, My Rules”]

I’ve never done this before but I figure I’m gonna be baking shit anyway so why the fuck not? [Is he allowed to curse? Well somebody better get real friendly with the censor if not] My grandma would probably be proud I remember all those baking lessons.

I watched the show a little and some of those contestants really lost it. I’ll keep an eye on everyone and make sure they’re calm.

Dee Reynolds

[Dee stands with her hands on her hips, and gives a casual shrug.]

You idiots don’t know shit about baking. I’m gonna win, you’ll see. [She throws her head back, smirking. She thrusts her finger at the camera, takes a step back, and comes off as far too aggressive. In front of her, on the bench, is a pile of smashed fruit. A pulpy, unrecognizable mess. She… probably shouldn’t be this confident.]

Dee Reynolds is coming out on top, so all you dumb idiots better pay attention. You’ll learn a thing or two.

Wu

[ Wu looks perfectly put together. Not a hair is out of place. He’s totally confident, he’s got this, he doesn’t even look like he’s been working at all.

However, the bench behind him is in fact a bit of a mess. He’s already part way through his dish, and there’s flour and used yuzu rinds litter the workspace ]

I’m new to this, but baking’s a breeze! You just have to mix things together. I really don’t know what everyone’s worried about.

You smell that? It’s going to be delicious. I made it at home and it was perfect.

[ As if on cue, the oven behind him starts smoking. He’s still smiling until the smell turns burny, and then his eyes go wide and he yelps, turning around to pull open the oven, smoke billowing out around him ]

Oh no, oh no, oh no–cut the camera! No one needs to see this!

Paul Atreides (Remy Boney)

[A bespectacled young man with a neatly trimmed beard smiles confidently as he whisks a gently steaming saucepan, a black beret set at a rakish angle atop dark, straight hair pulled back from his face in a loose ponytail. Does he seem familiar? Surely not.]

Of course, everyone enjoying themselves is important. [His accent is mellifluously and ambiguously continental.] But I admit, the idea of triumph...ah, well.

[He nods at the stands, where two other young men in sunglasses are seated close together in the stands. The goateed one mugs sternly for the camera, an effect slightly undercut by the fact he's juggling two cold drinks and a fan for the silver-haired boy lounging imperiously at his side.]

So long as I don't disappoint those I'm representing.

Todoroki Shouto

[ Shouto extracts his hands from the cracked globular mess that will never be soba noodles to meet the rolling cameras. A light dusting of flour covers his entire station and person hinting at a possible mishap early on. ]

I don’t like baking.

[ He answers in a monotone voice, brushing off chunks of clay from his hands. They hit the table with an audible THUNK. ]

But I’ll do my part as a Paleblood.

[ There’s a hint of determination behind those mismatched eyes or it could just be the need to squint against the white dust floating in the air around his station. ]

Qrow Branwen

[Is it possible for a single apron to be as much of a mess as Qrow's is? There's various kinds of stains on it, including some ill-fortuned fruits that might have been meant for a jam or a glaze, and smatterings of flour and baking soda.

A corner of it definitely isn't a little singed, what are you talking about. Everything is fine.

Qrow himself can be seen leaning casually against his workstation, offering a broad grin as he addresses the camera:]

Weeeeell, I wouldn't say I've got lot of experience, really, but it's not that hard once you get the hang of it.

[He pats the side of the oven a couple times, affectionately.]

I'm definitely in this thing to win …

[That sentence is barely out of his mouth before an entire bottle of cooking oil falls over onto the stove where the glaze is cooking, which promptly catches fire.]

Ohshi– Come back to me later!

Luke Skywalker

[ Luke’s wearing his usual black outfit, and at this point anyone that’s known him for any length of time may be questioning if he even has other clothes. For a moment it looks like he managed to find a black apron from somewhere, but… no, it’s just his cloak, tied around his waist. ]

[ He’s focused intensely on what might be mousse in progress, but it’s hard to tell from just a glance. It takes him a moment to realize he’s being talked to, his head shooting up to show that a small smudge of something pink ended up on his face. ]

Oh, um… my aunt taught me a lot of things; how to cook being among them. I’m hoping to go all the way, if only because that means I get to bake more, and um…

[ He paused a moment, his skin turning almost the same shade of pink as the smudge on his cheek. ]

I-I haven’t been able to stop baking since this month started, so hopefully more people will get what I’ve made other than my friends. I think I’ve given them too much by now.

Minako Aino

[Minako seemed to be covered in flour, or at least covered in something that was baking related. But she seemed to be in a chipper mood and had enough time to not focus on what she was meant to be doing.]

Hey~ So I’m not exactly the greatest when it comes to baking, but I have been determined to show the world that even those who might not have the talent but have the urge can at least grow and make something out of a disaster.

[Probably not the most encouraging thing, but Minako didn’t let that stop her.]

Just remember the name, Minako Aino~ The expert of all things love and music~ Hoping to add baking to that.

[ And that's all from your Bakers! Be sure to wish them luck in the competition! ]

The Great Paleblood Bake Off - Testimonial Broadcast

Video; UN: Filledwithsunshine