Your assumption I am doing this for others is incorrect. I already tried that and it is unsustainable if that is your only motivation. I am doing this for me now and no one else.

And I'm sure you're wondering why so I'll tell you. I learned that the way I had been didn't give me what I wanted, which is is the love of a family or friends that care deeply about me. All it did was give me evermore pain and rage. So I have been trying a different way and now I have what I want.

[Then his voice drips with contempt.]

And you are right. There are plenty here who are complete hypocrites, overlooking their own flaws and those of others simply because they fit into the narrow mold of what a 'good person' looks like. They don't matter and never will. What matters is what you want. I am like you. I don't feel bad for anything in my past and many things I've done in the present. Just last month I gouged a man's eyes out for what he did to me. But I am happier now than I have been in a long time, so what I am doing is working for me.