1-800-BUGGELOO | video | un: rin

[offinventory]

[ Green = Midoriya | Blue = Murderbot | None = Locals ]

Beasts can be people. I had to see if there was a person in there. That's why I used a Moon Drop on the Bugge.

Waste of a Moon Drop... Just kill it like we all do, Deku. [ The voice comes from a grizzled Hunter with their hand on their hilt. ]

[ Midoriya isn't filming this. He and a group of farmers are the subject of this onlooker's stream. A few Hunters are interspersed with them, identifiable by the badges that match Midoriya's own. They know him by his Hero name, Deku. His green Hero gear is lightly stained with his own warmblood. He's bruised and exhausted, but anyone familiar with him knows that he'd be much more injured if he actually came off worse in a fight. ]

If there's a chance I can save someone without killing, I have to try.

These are my crops! The blood of the Bugge enriches them, don't you understand? I have to feed my children! [ A farmer brandishes their harvesting sickle. ]

I--I'm sorry. If you need help, I--Please, let me help. There has to be another way. There are other ways to make the soil better, just--we can figure this out together--

[ Several people in the crowd push forward, and Midoriya flinches with a step back in time with them. He can feel several stabs of alarm in his head. It evokes multiple memories of a group of people ganging up on him, and he's not good at using words to defend himself. He wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around his head and not look at them, but these are people he wants to protect. He has to face them. ]

Congratulations, you are being streamed live to DeerNet. Don't do anything you'd regret.

[ The voice is flat and even, near emotionless but with a slight edge to it. If anyone looks at their relic, it is streaming with a one second delay. ]

[ OOC: replies will come from Murderbot and Midoriya ]

Comments

[wannasmash]

I'm fi--

[ That's his usual response. Assure others he's fine because he doesn't want to be a bother or cause them worry. But he sees Nara'a is inquiring more pointedly. ]

No, [ he says in a small voice he struggles to keep steady. ] I protect others. The Bugge is part of that.

[aetherweaver]

[He frowns and almost reaches out to put a hand on Deku's shoulder, but... he doesn't want to make the other feel uncomfortable.]

I... feel the same way. But I don't know if - ngh. I want to protect everyone, too.

[He can't justifiably say that sacrifice is okay - even if he's tried to do it more than once.]

[wannasmash]

[ He catches that falter. It's not a lifeline, he knows that, but he clings to it like an unstable root sticking out of a cliff above a drop. ]

What don't you know? What are you not sure of?

[ He wanders closer to some trees on the edge of the path, subconsciously looking to get out of the open like a wounded animal trying not to draw attention. ]

[aetherweaver]

[He sticks with Deku, not wanting to leave him out in the open.]

... I don't want to abandon the Bugge, either. But I also don't want people to starve. I wish there was a way to make sure everyone could be safe, people and Bugge alike.

But... I also know what it's like to be left with no option but to put someone or something down. If it's too late...

... I just don't know if it is or not.

[wannasmash]

I've never done it. I've been in situations where I felt there was no choice but to fight, but I've always managed to capture, incapacitate, or escape, sometimes with help. Not kill.

[ He lays out both his experience and his inexperience plainly. ]

It does happen--I mean-- [ "Happen," as if there wasn't a choice involved... He doesn't want to make it seem like something that can't be helped. He has the demeanor of a doormat, but he always faces the hard stuff. ]

Heroes do kill sometimes. It's... like a failure to me. A life I couldn't save.

Endwalker spoilers, cw: brief suicide mention

[aetherweaver]

That's always been my preference, too. To reason with them, to take them in... but sometimes they give me no choice. Sometimes they kill themselves rather than be captured, or sometimes... if I let them live, they'd hurt enough people that I can't...

... I can't trade the lives of thousands or millions of people just because I... would prefer to reason with someone.

But you're right. It does feel like a failure. But... one of those people I couldn't save told me something... that we have to keep moving forward. For those we have lost. For those we can yet save. I try to remember that.

I mourn the loss of those that I've killed. I'm not an innocent man, despite being hailed as a hero. And I've met people of the land I once thought of as being entirely my enemy. ... And to them, I was nothing short of a murderer. Someone who took their friends and loved ones from them. In their eyes, I'd killed without a second thought. And I can see why.

To them I'm a brutal murderer, capable of wielding powers they have no way of controlling. Bouncing back from some of the worst injuries... someone from a land of 'no' technology and a completely different way of life...

... But for every soldier I cut down, it... hurt. I had to defend myself. I had to defend the people I cared about. A lot of it was... well. War. It doesn't excuse what I've done, though. When I finally do end up in Thal's halls, I...

... I expect that my sins will be weighed along with my acts of heroism. And while the latter are many, so are the former. Taking a life for something other than hunting for survival is... still taking the life of a thinking, feeling soul.

So I agree with you. It is a failure. We all fail sometimes, but... we aim to do better. To save others. To save one person... it can save the whole world.

[wannasmash]

Even the magic of this place sees it as Forbidden Blood. Even if you are judged later, it doesn’t help the damage caused to those left behind.

I don’t want to be a cause of suffering like that.

[ He had listened attentively with eyes on him, but now he turns his head and gazes at the trees like they will have an answer. ]

Thank you for your advice.

[aetherweaver]

[He nods at the young man, smiling a little.]

I hope it helped, at least a little. You're welcome to say whatever you wish. I'm not... I don't like to tell people what to do. I just want to help.

[wannasmash]

[ He says quietly, ] Hearing what someone with more experience has to say always helps. Whether I agree with it or it conflicts with something else or whatever, it always helps.

[ His green eyes are far away, but they regain focus on him now. ]

I'd... like to walk for a bit on my own if that's okay. I think it will make me feel better.

[aetherweaver]

[He nods, smiling at Deku. They're a decent distance away from the group, so...]

All right. Just be careful. And if you need help again, please... just call for it. There are many people willing to assist you.

[wannasmash]

[ He gives a small nod. He's able to avoid bodily harm from ordinary people well enough, but sometimes help comes simply in the form of a kind word. ]

I'll see you.

[ Around the Santuary or wherever, Midoriya patrols anywhere he's needed. ]