video, un:charon

[notimeforfailure]

Good evening, all. I think this is what is termed a 'bandwagon.' However, as I imagine we will all be busy dead, dying, or in the process of resurrecting soon, I thought I had better commit before October.

I'm opening a bakery and sweets shop.

[Lysithea pans the camera to a table that is covered with pans filled with dozens of buns, cakes, and confections of different colors. It really looks extremely well done. One would imagine that Lysithea applies herself with the same intensity to any task she undertakes.]

Everything will be sourced from traditional Fódlan desserts, passed down through family histories and collected by hand in this book. I've realized that if I'm not the one who makes these treats, I'm... never going to taste them again. So I thought I should share.

[The view changes to an enormous tome currently open to a page titled Saghert and Cream in script prominently displaying a luscious picture of some kind of fruit and cream concoction. It really looks like this was drawn by hand.]

I'm baking from my room for now. If you want anything here, you can drop by or I'll bring it over. If you want delivery, you've got to get at least a dozen, because frankly, I'm not running all over town to give you one sweet bun. I'll open a proper location when it's not Death Month.

...Thanks.

[She signs off after a moment's awkward hesitation, as if she's not sure what to do next.]

[video pt 2, ten minutes later]

It's -- me again. Upon further reflection, I have no idea how to run a business, at all, apart from the portion where you confidently declare it in public.

I would... appreciate advice.

And help. If you are willing to be paid in cake.

Comments

[notimeforfailure]

[Lysithea does not know that name, but who is she to turn down a sale?]

Yes.

Depends on the type of rock. Please don't hand me pebbles you find on the street.

[vibing]

damn
that was my plan

ill find some better rocks
or something else
anything else you'd rather have?

[ bartering, how does it work? ]

those cakes look great

[notimeforfailure]

Not just better rocks. The best rocks.

[how is that quantified
who knows]

Things I want: magical artifacts, crystals, gems, home decor, clothes, accessories, upgrades to my weapons, books (preferably about magic, folklore and demons), ink, high quality paper and journals.

And thank you.

If you keep flattering me, I might trade compliments for cake.

[vibing]

it might have to be compliments. the best i have is i could trade you food for desserts, or crab meat or something.
you know those big crabs? taste great

or the best rock

hell that cake might be worth the best rock

[ you see what he did there ]

[notimeforfailure]

Crab... meat?

[Does she want to take (probably monster) crab flesh? This seems like it will set a bad precedent.]

You're sure they're edible? And they won't turn you into something awful if you eat too much?

[She knows how Deerington logic works by now.]

If you bring me the Best Rock, you can have a mini-cake.

1/

[vibing]

i ate it
havent turned into anything yet

[vibing]

oh shit
maybe i did
goddess im a monster now

[vibing]

kljhadjfkbafjsakdfn
ljhasdfasf
AKLJSBADJAKBSD

[vibing]

[ several minutes later ]

shit sorry false alarm

5/5

[vibing]

omen stole my phone

1/2

[notimeforfailure]

[what is happening
why is this happening
is this words]

Hello?

Are you alright?

Excuse me? Sir? Madam? Stranger?

[notimeforfailure]

Oh -- you're alright. That's

[the typing stops halfway]

Omens are smoke!!!!!
Liar

Oh
Hold on I see
This was what you call 'a bit.'

Ha. Very amusing. So eating crab meat turns you into something with a bad sense of humor. I shall keep that in mind.

[vibing]

ouch
that hurts
my sense of humor is wounded

maybe your cakes can fix me

[notimeforfailure]

My apologies, the cakes have been claimed by actual customers.

Try chewing on your rock.

[after a bit]

(They're actually still on sale. I'm assuming we're communicating facetiously.)

[vibing]

ow rock broke my teeth i guess i cant eat cake now

(yeah i still want cake. ill bring you my best rock i promise)

[notimeforfailure]

In that case, it seems as if both of our quandaries have been resolved. Try some soup.

(My address is [number here] in the Gaze district. Use the door that's marked with my name, Lysithea. I'm selling out of the second floor.)

[vibing]

who ever heard of sweet soup. going to die without sugar

[ And he does, in fact, show up with the best rock he has. It's a fine rock, a nice, smooth, pale grey rock. A nice weight, feels good in the hand, and he will eat the mini-cake right then and there, and extol its virtues (assuming that it is in fact delicious) ]

[notimeforfailure]

Hmmmmmmmmm.....rrrrrrm.

[Lysithea turns the rock over and over in her hands for a moment or two, lifting it up to the light.]

It's not magic, I assume.

[It's a very nice rock, if featureless.
Lysithea has no idea what she's going to do with it.
But she did promise that she would take the Best Rock so she supposes one can't renege on a promise.]

...You're Flynn's friend.

You're not like him at all.

[vibing]

[ Yuri watches her with a hand hooked on his hip, and snorts a laugh at that comment ]

Yeah, sure hope not.

[ Not that being Flynn is bad, but he could never be like Flynn, never be so uptight, so polite, so deferential. He wasn't always like that. They used to be a lot more alike.

He has some more rocks in his pocket if that one's not up to snuff ]

So what's the verdict, chef? You accept my humble rock?

[notimeforfailure]

You already ate my cake.

[Lysithea sighs and puts the Very Nice Rock on the counter. His fulsome praises went a long way towards her acceptance of... an actual rock.]

Let's call it a grand opening special. I think they have those. The question will be if I can get a vendor to take this rock in exchange for clothes, let's say.

[doubt]

But perhaps I don't fully appreciate this world's barter system. Would painting it purple be fraud?

[vibing]

I've bought a lot of nice stuff with rocks.

[ He plucks at the leather jacket he's wearing with a little grin ]

It's basically gald here. Rocks, feathers, other pretty stuff. Don't knock it til you try it.

But, hey, I'm not trying to get cakes out of you if you think it's an unfair price. What can I do to make it up to you?

[ And maybe earn another cake, please ]

[notimeforfailure]

I mean, I don't think you're wrong. I just don't see how anybody stays in business.

[Lysithea shrugs.]

All the merchants must just have sacks and sacks of rocks in their homes. If I collect enough, I can build the foundation of a new house with them.

You can consider it sufficient payment for the cake. If you want a regular supply, though, I'll probably want more than a steady stream of nice rocks. What skills do you have?

[vibing]

Hey, maybe that's what they're angling for.

Me?

[ Yuri thinks about it for a moment. He doesn't really have that many skills. He has two, and as much as he's cultivated those, well ]

Good with a sword, decent cook. You need any help making them, I can try to learn. Don't know Fodlan stuff, but I make a mean cake. I can carry heavy stuff, I guess, if you need someone to haul all the flour you need for this.

[ Okay, three skills. ]

[notimeforfailure]

Decent cook?

[Lysithea considers.]

...Cooking's different from baking, but... you could work for me for cake, if you'd like. I mean, if you're good. There are always tedious tasks that would be more quickly accomplished when divided.

And if you can actually make cake, you'd have a head start over the other people who've offered to help so far.

[vibing]

I can bake.

[ You know, cookies and cakes and stuff like that. Nothing fancy. But, working for cake? Sounds pretty great, even if there's a little Flynn voice in the back of his head saying that he should ask for an actual salary. No, thanks, Flynn. Money is for chumps. ]

Dunno your Fodlan stuff, but I could learn. I can make stuff from my world pretty well, though.