deernet | Video; UN: Spider-Man

Hey, everyone! Spider-Man here — AKA your favorite Peter! Sorry to all the other Peters, but them's just the breaks. I've worked too hard the last three years around here to not get top-billed spot as Peter! ... Alright, alright, maybe I'll share with Peter Graham. But only because he's as old and tired as me. We're like a thousand years old in spirit, right? Right. The Peter Pack old boys.

Anyway, I used to give people informational packets, back when we lived in, uh... Deerington. You know, in Maine? You remember that old chestnut? Yeah, me too. Lucky me, my house and lab came with me! A little less furbished, but I do what I can. I'll be starting up my new job as a teacher here at the school soon, because old habits die hard, but I suppose I don't mind doing some teaching outside of the school, too, sooooo...

If you wanna know anything about the world that existed before Trench, I can answer questions as best I can. You guys all deserve that. And, uh. If it helps — I've attached a copy of the PPPP(S). Yup, that's right! The original! The O.G., as the hip kids call it.

[FILE ATTACHED.]

Super sorry if anything's confusing; I can fill out any of the weird blanks or things that don't quite make sense. And for everyone who doesn't need this info because they swam their little squid tuckuses behind me.... Hey! How's it going! Tell me a good joke, if you've got one. Let me know how you're settling while you're at it. I've been pretty good, personally. Lots of fighting, y'know. Creepy monsters away from the outskirts of town.

So basically nothing's changed.

Well, nothing other than the month, I guess! Wow, wait, is it already a new month? Can't believe...

[He trails off, and seems to realize, belatedly, loudly, and with great concern:]

OH NO, NOT OCTOBER!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, I hate to be That Scientist, but they really should put those vials into some proper holding containers.

I guess they're, uh

good rodent control???

Sure you can! There's all sorts of ways to be a photographer.

... Some more financially secure than others.

I worked for a newspaper! Took the photos, occasionally wrote some editorials. Occasionally. I was super big on taking them back then, but I kinda ran out of leisure time for it the last few years in New York.

I've never jinxed anything in my life!

[Said like he knows he's jinxed things all the times in his life.

Anyway!]

Sounds like a plan, though. If there's anything you need, let me know! Otherwise I'll just have to drop in and say hi to the birthday girl and her very thoughtful and nice girlfriend.

[ Ange can't imagine anything but chaos happening if Ruby and Peter ever happen to be too close to each other. Talk about two of the world's most chaotic forces clashing...

.. and yet she's still not going to say 'no'. Of course. Ange is too weak. ]

If you show up, you need to give her a present, you know.

[ Apparently that is the only baseline she's deciding to set here. ]

[He shakes his head and rubs a hand over his face. Peter, you make him tired sometimes.]

Idiot.

[ Oh boy, a chance to talk about his work? Don't mind if he does. ]

My primary interest was anomalous events and creatures, particularly those localized around a town called Gravity Falls, but it was an interdisciplinary field. It's not much use finding crashed alien spaceships if you can't even guess how they might have functioned, or contending with ghosts if you don't know how to research history.

Truthfully, Deerington wasn't too far removed from the environments I typically operated in, aside from not being based on conventional physics.

[ Turns out he's a big old science nerd and has a Mothman conspiracy page. ]

OH! [She claps, impressed.] That's wonderful! Look at that! You're as strong as a giant! That's very impressive, Peter!

Those all sound like very useful skills... except perhaps the stickiness, that must make eating difficult!

... Been having that rough a time with them, huh?

Hey, it's all good!
If you have any issues with powers later, just hit me up. You can test some stuff!

But if you're getting along fine without something like that, then that's a win! Right?

... Seriously, Shiro. It's fine. I mean it.

We're all friends who get caught up in the town's influence, right? How many times have we all gotten hurt without the other person meaning to? You're fine. I don't even scar, y'know. I'm baby-smooth!

[Maybe there's something kind of sad in that. In the fact that he'd be head-to-toe covered in scarring if he hadn't had that ability all these years. But he has it, and he heals, and it doesn't matter.]

It doesn't change what I did.

[Doesn't change that he lashed out at someone he cares for. At someone who'd only been trying to help. Nothing is going to change that.]

[No amount of "it's fine" will, either.]

...all right, not that I'm not delighted by the idea of giving free candy out, [and god, Jester would have such a great time, wouldn't she,] what is all that candy for, anyway? A tradition or something? And how do I get in on it?

Is there? (perhaps she's more interested in this than he'd been bargaining on but abby, of course, is thinking about manny and his photographer clutter, thankfully contained over on his side of their shared room back in the WLF stadium. he used to develop the film himself.)

What did you take photos of?

Like a test subject??
Maybe in the beta, especially if the alphas tend to explode or corrode...

Yeah, it's really rough. I um... kinda set Fern on fire by accident.

Huh, I don't think I've seen an eightball reply that before.

Maybe I should shake it again.

I swing around all day, I see where people go!

[God, you all think you're so covert; you don't even try! That said, he politely just hangs there upside down, like a vampire waiting to be let in.]

And you didn't answer my very important question.

[Peter? Chaotic? No way!]

Ange! You think I'd show up to a party without a present?!

What kind of monster to do think I am?

Oh, it was difficult when I first got those powers! Now I know how to use it right.

... But I definitely did have a few apples sticking to my hands in high school.

... And broke a few doors.

A-Apples you say! [Snow White balked, somehow looking paler if that were even possible. She shivered a bit.] How unfortunate!

Especially with broken doors as well! Your poor home! But you have control of it all now, I should think?

It's one thing to lock away the vials, of which my world is doing a better job. They won't drop themselves. It's another thing to find and lock away the ones who'd willingly drop them.

I'm trying to work out a one liner involving plague rats, but nothing's coming that would sound good outside of my head.

Though I remembered one from an intern I worked with, and it fits worlds with normal Halloweens.

What's the best way to decorate your house when you live on a dead end?

Zombies.

I was just making sure.

[ Though he has a point. Peter can be kind of ridiculous, but he's also way too nice. There's no way he would show up to a party without a present. ]

Do you even know her enough to know what to get her though?

[Maul's eyes seem to glow with the rage inside of them.]

I am going to hunt you down and hit you so hard your whole family is going to feel it.

Oh, man, then you're in the perfect place for your work.

We've got anomalous events and creatures out the wazoo!

Sorry it's not all super fun, what with the, uh... traumatic situations that happen.

Yeah, well, if it were anyone else but you, you wouldn't be blaming them for it.

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