deernet | Video - UN: Runeseeker (CW for Body Horror/Headlessness)

If you want to get ahead in life, I recommend keeping a good one on your shoulders. The alternative is troublesome.

[Badum Tish.

That dryly delivered and awful joke was said by Vira-Lorr's head, which was resting on a metal plate in front of her. She was seated in her fortune teller's booth, relaxed back and reclined in her chair, wearing a particularly high necked Ao Dai that completely concealed the clean cut from sight. Trails of smoke extended from within the collar, floating upwards. Her head, meanwhile, was resting in the spot that the crystal ball usually would, looking about as acrid and "Over every last minute of this" as she possibly could. There was no way in which she was pleased by this.]

Ahem. It appears that some of the masks are a bit too effective at making us seem like monsters. This was an experience I was not planning to have again. But, rather than search high and low for blood in this situation? I will tolerate it as long as I must until it returns to normal. The discomfort is ... minimal. It's just very disorienting.

However, until this remedies itself, I will be sticking to the shop closely. I don't have a collar to keep from losing my head after all, you understand. And... [she switched which leg was crossed on top of each other and, in the process her leg accidentally bumped her head, causing it to topple over with a yelp of distress.]

This! This is exactly why I am not going out right now! Damnit! I'll have whoever's head for this!

[The answer came when a small litwick hopped up on top of the table and waved at the camera angle beatifically, touching a button and blessedly ending the feed.]

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I'd be a kitty. Spoiling me would be a requirement. [She said that with such pride and pleasure.] It's one of the advantages of cats, after all.

They're very ... well, tehy're not that picky as eaters. They won't eat anything, but they do eat quite a bit. So yes, definitely not something to be surprised over, anymore than knowing I will turn their curses to my advantage when I can.

[It's a vague assessment, but one that prompts a sympathetic look.]

I can't imagine not being myself for months.

It was...

Let's just say my coping methods weren't always healthy. The most healthy was the terrible jokes. Those I refuse to give up. You have to keep from losing your head somehow.

[Luz nodded, laughing]. If I turned into a kitty while around my girlfriend, I think I'd be in heaven!

[Mostly because they were dating but also because Lexi liked cats as much as she did]!

You mean storing a lot of food in you so you can hibernate a few months?

[This was teasing of course. Luz doubted Vira needed a real reason to hibernate].

[She snickered.] See, you already have the right idea. You'd get to rub up against her ankle and purr until she pet you and pampered you. It would be perfect in its own way.

Yes. For a huge amount of time. It was a pity it was in Spring, or I would have gotten the chance to try out hibernating. Imagine sleeping for three months.

You know, being pampered by my girlfriend would normally be something I wouldn't like, but as a cat? I think I'd like that.

[Again, if they'd been switched, Luz would be just as doting, especially if it was involving Lexi].

I can't imagine that at all! I have way too much to do in the house! I'm afraid it would be all burned down if I left for three months!

[Which she might not have felt so strongly about had this not happened to Ruby and Ange]!

[ Ange thinks, and then huffs. ]

Well, they don't often seem to mess in each other's months. [ From what Ange has seen over the past year. And while she won't claim to know Cloverfield's exact style very well, she's willing to go by Vira-Lorr's judgement on that one. ]

Unless you're saying you instead went out of your way to piss off a specific Pthumerian recently.

[ .. she wouldn't put that entirely beyond Vira-Lorr either.

Not even just in a negative judgey sort of way, mind you. It just seems like the sort of thing that might happen, considering Vira can be so headstrong (pun unintended) in her own way. ]

[That prompts a snigger, despite herself. Maria's always been weak to the odd bad joke.]

That's terrible.

[She winked at her.]

I have a whole list of awful head puns. I'm a walking set of dad jokes. It's a coping mechanism I assure you, and I'm very good at it.

I think that's the one thing that would make me unsure of it. You never know what could happen in the whole of three months, so it's far too long to sleep.

But it's an interesting thought.

No, they really don't... but there's always the possibility that there's more than just the ones known for each month. [She made a sour look.] There's mother mercy after all...

And no, I try to minimize my interactions where possible. Generally.

...

Hopefully.

Exactly. I would be scared too much would be happening while I was away.

Oh, it is! I've never slept that long before! I imagine you'd be pretty refreshed afterward!

Nice long naps were definitely a thing when i was a bear. It was oh so luxurious. Actually everything about being a bear was kind of luxury. I wonder why nobody enjoyed the experience besides me.

[There'd been a looooot of angry people, but they might have not missed the point like VL did.]

[He shakes his head and waves his hands.]

No no, I literally saw the headless horseman ghost riding through the street the other day! Sooo on the bright side, you've got a headless buddy to talk to.

Now I wanna be a bear.

Sure would beat being cut up in an abandoned blood barn where you don't WANT to fall asleep.

[Luz is totally joking about this because she just relived those memories and is trying to minimalize its damage to her psyche slowly].

[ ...

Wait.

Hold on there for a moment.

Ange squints as she's thinking. Staring at her Omni. ]

You aren't trying to tell me that you might've gone and pissed off that one, are you?

[ Not that Ange will disagree with the fact that she sucks and all, but.. you know. It just seems like a generally bad idea.

The exact kind of idea that might leave someone more or less headless, for example. ]

At least you have a way of coping. A fair amount of people have nothing of the kind.

[Keith considered that for a moment, a slight frown on his face.]

Do I want to know how that happened?

I lost my head. Naturally.

[Badum tish.]

There was a strange month where a demented robot bear ran kangaroo courts and executed people in novel ways. You can fill in the blanks I think. Thankfully the footage is lost to the ages now.

There are, though around here? I think I've found that most will ultimately find one. We have little choice here.

May I ask what sorts you have?

It's better than so many things. maybe we can convince Bauphomette next year doing her month?

I do everything in my power to stay away from that woman. It's been successful so far, but I couldn't tell you if she didn't suddenly decide to take an issue.

...

It's HER after all. I never assume with her anymore.

Oh joy. An actual Dullahan? They're atrocious creatures in my experience. We had to kill several in my world. [Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh] Well, if it causes any trouble I'll whip my spine out and get it back in line.

[... because Dullahans did that.]

Yeah, ok! She might not be my Pthumerian, but each of them have some kind of wisdom or, uh, experience they share with Sleepers, right?

Astounding given your head is no longer attached to your trachea.....or larynx for that matter, which makes it all odder you can still talk.

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Video - UN: Runeseeker (CW for Body Horror/Headlessness)

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