Anna Amarande (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hauntedsavior) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deernet2021-11-15 09:04 pm
hauntedsavior) wrote in deernet2021-11-15 09:04 pm
002 // text; username: grollschwert
cw: chronic illness, ruminations on death
Fun one for you tonight.
[this message comes in the middle of the night, when no one in their right mind should be awake. but that's never stopped anna. she can't sleep, and if flynn and ruby and everybody are right then she has to at least try not to keep this stuff inside her at all times. sorrow's silence we needn't bear, or whatever.]
You know a girl. Her body is breaking down and her meds are failing her.
She has years left. Maybe months, if it gets worse.
But something happens, and she gets access to amazing new technology. Things that prevent her body from attacking itself.
Things that stop her timer from ticking faster than everyone else's.
Great, right?
You get to know her better. You entertain her little crush on you. Maybe you like her back a little and maybe things aren't gonna be so bad.
But one day, you do something.
Something that sets off a chain of events that you couldn't have predicted. Not in a million years.
Small things collide into medium things collide into big huge massive things.
And after the butterfly version of you is done flapping its wings, she doesn't have access to that technology anymore.
She's back on the timer.
She doesn't know you did anything.
She never finds out.
You can't bring yourself to tell her, and she wouldn't believe it if you did.
She barely recognizes you anymore, by the end of it.
Her family finds your name on her phone and invites you to pay respects.
Do you still go to her funeral?
Did you kill her?
Fun one for you tonight.
[this message comes in the middle of the night, when no one in their right mind should be awake. but that's never stopped anna. she can't sleep, and if flynn and ruby and everybody are right then she has to at least try not to keep this stuff inside her at all times. sorrow's silence we needn't bear, or whatever.]
You know a girl. Her body is breaking down and her meds are failing her.
She has years left. Maybe months, if it gets worse.
But something happens, and she gets access to amazing new technology. Things that prevent her body from attacking itself.
Things that stop her timer from ticking faster than everyone else's.
Great, right?
You get to know her better. You entertain her little crush on you. Maybe you like her back a little and maybe things aren't gonna be so bad.
But one day, you do something.
Something that sets off a chain of events that you couldn't have predicted. Not in a million years.
Small things collide into medium things collide into big huge massive things.
And after the butterfly version of you is done flapping its wings, she doesn't have access to that technology anymore.
She's back on the timer.
She doesn't know you did anything.
She never finds out.
You can't bring yourself to tell her, and she wouldn't believe it if you did.
She barely recognizes you anymore, by the end of it.
Her family finds your name on her phone and invites you to pay respects.
Do you still go to her funeral?
Did you kill her?
no subject
It sounds extremely complicated.
May I ask... was Eren happy there?
no subject
He had a lot of stuff inside him, still.
A lot of complicated feelings about the Eren he was resonating with.
Your Eren, I guess.
One of the last conversations we had before he fell off the app was about how he worried he was.
That he felt like your Eren was doing the wrong things for a good cause,
And how worried my Eren was when he started thinking they weren't that wrong.
But I think despite all that, he was still happy.
I think he's still happy now. I hope he is.
no subject
I didn't know Eren for long, but he was someone very important in our world. I hope that we were able to set him on the right path, and that he made the right decisions when the time came.
[The jury's still out on that one, Erwin.]
Thank you for being a friend to him. He was someone who needed friends at his side.
no subject
Maybe not to Earth, or to Recolle.
But he was important in MY world, you know?
I needed him as much as he needed me.
He was a good guy. Didn't always make the right choices, but never did anything halfway.
Always committed to things with his whole ass.
This is the first time I've ever actually heard about the actual people that my friends' souls were resonating with, though.
So thanks for telling me that they were really... real.
I just had to take all of it on faith until now.
no subject
[Erwin has people like that in his own life. Not many, but a handful, and all the more precious for their small numbers.]
You are quite welcome.
Eren was, and is, very real in my world.
And he did, as you say, commit to things with his whole ass.
[Erwin, no.]
I wonder if we have anyone else in common, that we may know from our various travels.
no subject
It's definitely possible. Everything's possible, you know?
Eren is a pretty colossal (lol) presence, and it's hard to think about things that aren't... you know.
Right now.
So there could have been more, but there's not even a guarantee they would've kept the same name.
I mean, A2's not a name that people have.
[hold on. this isn't a comedic pause, she seems to have just kind of figured it out for herself.]
Goddammit.
I started using my middle name as my last name and now I'm Anna Amarande.
A.A.
no subject
[Erwin doesn't know what "lol" means, but he can definitely agree with the sentiment about Eren.]
Were you called A2 in that world? And here you're Anna?
no subject
A2 for short.
It was the type of combat android she was more than it was ever a name, I think.
That was kind of the deal with all of the ones from A2's memories. I never learned too much about their org chart beyond that.
I've been Anna the whole time.
Just dropped my last name a while ago.
Family shit, you know how it is.
no subject
[Holy. SHIT.]
Forgive me for being so blunt, but was your world of origin one that was capable of making synthetic humans? Was it able to travel through the stars?
no subject
Nobody was traveling the stars.
The humans all went to the moon, but we've been able to do that for like 50 years now.
And the rest of the planet was just in a war between androids and machines.
Androids like A2 look like... well, normal humans. They were created by YoRHa, which was created by humans, so I guess she was built in our image.
Machines are like little stubby things. Kind of like toys, but they shoot deadly laser balls and beam viruses at each other.
no subject
[Their technology back home is so far behind.]
So you are an android then? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the term.
no subject
Gynoid since I'm a woman, but nobody uses that.
And TECHNICALLY I'm a cyborg since I still have some human parts to me.
It only matters to, like, the absolute nerdiest of nerds. Robot's fine.
Or, you know, Anna. I respond to Anna too.
no subject
[And while he'd like to ask more, Erwin knows when to stop pushing his luck with the questions.]
You've been very kind answering my questions, Anna. If you're open to the idea, I'd like to meet in person at some point.
I can promise that I won't endlessly badger you with questions.
no subject
White hair, eyepatch, longcoat.
Can't be more than one of me.
And don't worry about bombarding me with questions.
Took my mind off of stuff for a while. And god knows I have a few more questions of my own about our Erens.
Looking forward to seeing you in the light of day.