[Accidental Transmission]

[imaglyphwitch]

((Warnings: Stream of conscious, fairly depressed feelings thought aloud, mention of losing one's sentience))

[It was at the tower, the very top, one of the few times she didn't see Rapunzel there, and that was interesting because someone else was there. Luz had gone up to get away, aware of the feeling in her heart but not wanting to have that so openly displayed. As it happened, it was the first of February, she should have expected to see her, but her appearing now made so much sense to her].

You knew. Of course you did.

[Luz looked out into the snow-covered places of Trench, marveling it a moment].

Most days this would be a great view. It reminds me of the possibilities, of the places I haven't explored yet. Even if there are things here that terrify me, there's also a lot that's really interesting!

But. I just feel heavy in my heart right now. I...I miss her. I love my omen, I do, Tempest is a part of me I could never be, but...she can't talk. I know a part of me made her that way too, because if she did talk.

It would break me a little.

I can't create a Margot. No one could. She was bright and fun, and sad because she failed her sister, and wanted desperately to make amends. So as much as I could, I had fun with her. I showered her in affection because she needed a sister, and I never had one. I never even shared a room before. I never stood up talking about nothing. I never slept around someone, first for warmth and then for actual warmth. She was my sister. I loved her a lot.

And now it's like she was never here. I mean, she never WAS technically, she was never a squid. But you know what I mean. It was like she was never part of my life. People have forgotten her, and where she is now, she'll have forgotten herself. She'll just be a wolf. All because some scientist needed to be cruel and take away her intelligence. I should have told myself that her "waking" from the dream was always possible.

I haven't forgotten. Me, her and Eda had fun. We were happy. Then Eda went, and a few months later, she did too. So I found a new home. I try to keep my family close. I love them. I brought new people in, and I love them too. I just wish this hole, where she still lives, didn't hurt so much.

It's a lot to ask for. But I think you knew that it would be the thing that brought me to you. The moment I saw a picture of you, with the bleeding roses and the sword in your hand, I knew. You understood. Understand.

Sometimes you're always carrying the sword, even as you bleed.

[She unfortunately did not realize that Tempest was here and had activated her Omni. Tempest was aware this was a bit of an invasion of privacy for her partner but was concerned. Very concerned].

Comments

text; UN: TripleJ

[kyley_b]

[Okay. That was obviously not a planned transmission, so he's just gonna play it like he never saw it.]

hey Luz! just checking in on you. pretty sure we're banned from several establishments in town now.

Re: text; UN: TripleJ

[imaglyphwitch]

[Good plan, good plan. Luz is going to wake from that contemplative part of her to revert back to her flabbergasted self]

Oh noooo. I even tried to clean up the graffiti! Do you know she got into a bar fight?!

[kyley_b]

dude I almost got my nipples pierced and I'm pretty sure I scared the crap out of people I was meeting for the first time.

you feeling OK?

[imaglyphwitch]

And I distinctly remember liking flannel more than I usually do.

I feel kinda...weird today, honestly. Remembering people, past things. Kinda melancholic.

un: trienemybest; video

[droptheious]

[Unlike Kyle, Varian is definitely not going to pretend he never saw it. he lives with her, it's a lot harder to fake.]

So. That just happened. Are you- well, obviously you're not okay, but do you need company?

[Audio][un: A_Wesker013]

[subject_013]

There seems to be a bit of that going around... [He's joking a bit, but there's a core of seriousness as well.]

[Completely serious now, he continues ] One can hope... your sister in spirit found an exit into another world between worlds, like this one.

video; UN: seeingtheworld

[schoolingfish]

Um...Luz? Are you okay?

I'm sorry you lost them. It sounds like they were really important to you.

Re: un: trienemybest; video

[imaglyphwitch]

W-what?!

[She's just figuring out this all transmitted, and now she's totally caught off guard].

I'm good, I'm good! Just talking out loud!

Re: [Audio][un: A_Wesker013]

[imaglyphwitch]

[Ugh WHY. WHY WAS THIS TRANSMITTED, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS TEMPEST].

Is it? Think it's because of Doorway?

...

There's not even a way of knowing.

Re: video; UN: seeingtheworld

[imaglyphwitch]

[Thank you Tempest. Thank you so much].

I'm all right. Just...I'm reminded of her this month. I think that has something to do with Doorway.

[Or maybe that Luz hadn't properly dealt with her being gone for good].

She is. I'd feel the same way if one of you guys woke up.

Re: [Audio][un: A_Wesker013]

[subject_013]

I doubt it's the fault of the Pthumerian, though they may be responding to something in us which desires to open to others. You missed it, but... my Omen decided to broadcast a very personal confession that I made earlier.

[A slow inbreath.]

I'm not a fan of false hope, however... it's better at times than no hope at all.

[kyley_b]

it was a cool look.

yeah? i think that's pretty normal. we kinda went through a lot of 'what might have been' last month, you know? i was 50 for a while, it's kinda making me reevaluate my life choices.

you can talk about it if you want.

[imaglyphwitch]

Most of what she did was cooler than me.

[Luz was secure enough in herself to say that. She didn't need to be cool, she was herself]!

Your fifties? Good grief! I can't even imagine what I'd look like or even be thinking about!

I was just remembering someone I knew in Deerington. She was this wolf that could walk and talk like a human being, came from an Earth that had animals mutating enough to do that.

I basically drafted her to live with me and Eda, just like I did with Luca and Ahiru. But she was the first person other than Eda I live with, and we shared the same room and everything.

You have anyone here who knows what happens to them in their world, like, if they die?

Re: [Audio][un: A_Wesker013]

[imaglyphwitch]

I don't mean it's her fault so much that I wonder if it's just inspiring other people to be more candid?

Oh, then I'm glad! I don't want to intrude on your private thoughts.

That's true, but. It can still get pretty depressing.

[kyley_b]

aw I don't know about that. :)

I still had hair! and a beard, which was kinda cool. I was sorta unfulfilled though. like I could remember a whole other life where I grew apart from all my closest friends and I was pretty much alone.

I remember you showing me her, with the antler charms in december. she was like your sister, you said.

no, I don't think so. we'll karkat and dirk might - they both seem to know about other timeliness and stuff where things turned out real bad.

[imaglyphwitch]

I'm not ashamed! Some people are cool, and I am not. I am totally fine with being crazy, zany me, thank you.

[Even if there were times she really should be practicing self-care, but that was another story].

Oh, that's a shame. I'm glad you still had hair and all of that, but without your friends?!

Right. Well she...I mean. You know. She knew what would happen if she woke up. In her world, a scientist takes away her ability to speak and walk on her hind legs. She's turned into a regular wolf and she forget everything.

I know some other people who have a bad end if they go back home. Being here, it's like they get a second chance. I hoped that Margot was going to stay my sister for a long time, but that didn't happen.

And acting like that's ok and that I'm coping is not really working anymore.

(private) video | un: Da Silva

[rosae]

( It's immediately clear that this isn't an intentional message to be broadcast, and Rose initially feels bad about watching it. Part of her thinks she should shut it off as she watches Luz spill her heart out, but there's something deeply worried in her the more the girl continues.

After it's over, Rose is quietly turning on her own video feed to send a message back. Her eyebrows are furrowed, concern and an ache deeply etched into her features. Her own Omen sits beside her, the dove giving soft, worried coos. The bird's clearly concerned about Luz, too. )

Luz? I'm..... so sorry. I know how much it hurts to lose someone, what it's like to... keep them safely tucked away in your memory. It's precious to remember, but it's also... very lonely, isn't it? Very hard.

( To be haunted by the ghost of someone you loved and lost... It hurts. Maybe nothing hurts more than that hole Luz is talking about. )

Have you been keeping all these feelings inside? All by yourself?

[onerthes]

I haven't forgotten her. She was quite distinctive, though I didn't know her nearly as well as you.

...

still, I think I understand that pain a little. Some of my friends, it is like none ever knew them at all. And they fade more and more until only I hold their candles.

text; un: padlocks

[enblightened]

being separated from the people you care about is a difficult thing.
are you alone right now luz?

video; UN: seeingtheworld

[schoolingfish]

Yeah...I wish there was something I could do to help.

[But he's sure there isn't. After all, what she really wants is her sister here.]

Yeah...I know it would be hard for me, too, if any of you guys left. If that does happen, though, I don't want you to worry too much. I'm probably fine wherever I am.

Re: (private) video | un: Da Silva

[imaglyphwitch]

[Boy, if there was someone she didn't want seeing her in this state, it was definitely Rose. She cared a lot about what she thought, and at the same time knew that the woman had been through a lot. She didn't need Luz's problems atop the other things going on.

At the same time, she was also very right].

It is lonely. It's bad when that person was always around, and when they're not there, you feel their absence and no one else does. I still wish I could see her.

I'm probably one of the few people who remember her, so yes.

[imaglyphwitch]

I'm glad you do. I know you didn't get to know her long, but she was pretty special to me.

I'm really sorry about that. I should remember there are people who have those feelings too. This is probably why Omens shouldn't broadcast people's sorrows on the network!

[She gave an icy look to Tempest, who just stared back defiantly at Luz. She clearly felt no remorse for her actions].

[onerthes]

Oh, don't worry. I'm not offended at all. I'm trying to commisserate, to remind you that you aren't alone like this. [She sighed.] The number of people who still remember Majima is very small after all. I definitely understand that feeling of loss.

But she's still in your heart isn't she?

Re: text; un: padlocks

[imaglyphwitch]

[Why. Why do you do these things Tempest].

I-I am. I'm just in the tower by the house.

But yeah. She's not from my world, but she's as close to me as any of my friends back at the Isles.

Re: video; UN: seeingtheworld

[imaglyphwitch]

Be careful or you'll wind up like me there!

[Always trying to help even if you couldn't].

Luca, not that I ever want it to happen, but I'd rather you wake up back home with your parents and Alberto and Guliana before I leave you here.