deernet | [Accidental Transmission]

Entry tags:

[Accidental Transmission]

((Warnings: Stream of conscious, fairly depressed feelings thought aloud, mention of losing one's sentience))

[It was at the tower, the very top, one of the few times she didn't see Rapunzel there, and that was interesting because someone else was there. Luz had gone up to get away, aware of the feeling in her heart but not wanting to have that so openly displayed. As it happened, it was the first of February, she should have expected to see her, but her appearing now made so much sense to her].

You knew. Of course you did.

[Luz looked out into the snow-covered places of Trench, marveling it a moment].

Most days this would be a great view. It reminds me of the possibilities, of the places I haven't explored yet. Even if there are things here that terrify me, there's also a lot that's really interesting!

But. I just feel heavy in my heart right now. I...I miss her. I love my omen, I do, Tempest is a part of me I could never be, but...she can't talk. I know a part of me made her that way too, because if she did talk.

It would break me a little.

I can't create a Margot. No one could. She was bright and fun, and sad because she failed her sister, and wanted desperately to make amends. So as much as I could, I had fun with her. I showered her in affection because she needed a sister, and I never had one. I never even shared a room before. I never stood up talking about nothing. I never slept around someone, first for warmth and then for actual warmth. She was my sister. I loved her a lot.

And now it's like she was never here. I mean, she never WAS technically, she was never a squid. But you know what I mean. It was like she was never part of my life. People have forgotten her, and where she is now, she'll have forgotten herself. She'll just be a wolf. All because some scientist needed to be cruel and take away her intelligence. I should have told myself that her "waking" from the dream was always possible.

I haven't forgotten. Me, her and Eda had fun. We were happy. Then Eda went, and a few months later, she did too. So I found a new home. I try to keep my family close. I love them. I brought new people in, and I love them too. I just wish this hole, where she still lives, didn't hurt so much.

It's a lot to ask for. But I think you knew that it would be the thing that brought me to you. The moment I saw a picture of you, with the bleeding roses and the sword in your hand, I knew. You understood. Understand.

Sometimes you're always carrying the sword, even as you bleed.

[She unfortunately did not realize that Tempest was here and had activated her Omni. Tempest was aware this was a bit of an invasion of privacy for her partner but was concerned. Very concerned].

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm glad you do. I know you didn't get to know her long, but she was pretty special to me.

I'm really sorry about that. I should remember there are people who have those feelings too. This is probably why Omens shouldn't broadcast people's sorrows on the network!

[She gave an icy look to Tempest, who just stared back defiantly at Luz. She clearly felt no remorse for her actions].

Oh, don't worry. I'm not offended at all. I'm trying to commisserate, to remind you that you aren't alone like this. [She sighed.] The number of people who still remember Majima is very small after all. I definitely understand that feeling of loss.

But she's still in your heart isn't she?

I don't think I ever got to meet her. Before my time?

Yes. I was looking for her when I first arrived here, and I hoped she was going to be in the same place with me.

I feel like the guys would have liked her.

Heh. [She smiled.] Well, Majima is a He, so definitely before your time.

[She gave her a little wink as she said it.]

I think they would. And I still have a few that I go to the coast every month, hoping to see. I worry about them, and I will probably always do so, at least for a very long time. They should have a friendly face, yes?

Oh, my bad! I misgendered! Still, that's pretty sad.

Yes, you're right. I never knew that you did that. Isn't it a little sad though, when they don't show up?

Well, you never quite met him. But trust me. He had a flare for the open buttoned shirts and his tattoos. He was definitely hard to miss. Right down to the eyepatch and that outlandish voice of his.

[Majima Goro was quite the character.]

It was sad the first month... and in one case it's still very sad to me, but I also like to think that most of their lives aren't so bad, so I just miss them. Like an old friend on a trip.

Ok, he sounds cool!

[He practically leapt out of the screen of a RPG game]!

Yeah. I think they'll be glad. That's good for them.

[Luz is trying not to cry here, because she KNOWS what happens to Margot. It was the reason she was out here talking to Doorway away from other people. She didn't want to burden people with these thought she really couldn't do anything about. How could they answer her]?

And for your friend, we'll keep praying that they can be here someday... I do it often for Chloe.

[She sighed a little, pressing her hand to her forehead and looking at her friend sadly.]

Would you like some company, Luz?

Edited 2022-02-06 13:37 (UTC)

[Luz would have to ask more about Chloe someday. She felt a little bad complaining to Vira about this though-she'd been in Deerington much longer and obviously must have lost many loves ones herself].

I think...yes. Not even to talk, just company.

[Over time, they all lost people they cared for. It was the price tag of staying as long as they did. She remembered talking with Eddie a lot about that towards the end of the nightmare.

Nodding, she smiled.]

Just send me your location. I'll be along shortly. We don't need to talk. Sometimes it's just good to be friends together.

[Luz wished she'd been as prepared as she thought about someone awakening, but she had never though it would be Eda, and then after everything from Deerington, Margot too].

I'm at the house, but in Rapunzel's tower. You've seen it, right?

I think so too.

It should be easy enough to find. I'll be by soon.

[She wasn't going to keep Luz waiting long at the very least. The tower was distinctive enough, but she settled for knocking at the front door to be polite. It was never good to barge into a friend's home, after all.]

[Luz was luckily all the way down from the tower at this point because it was a very BIG tower and that meant there were a lot of steps. Luckily, Luz had Eda's staff so it was nowhere near as tiresome as it could have been.

When she finally spotted Vira Lorr, she gave a little wave, looking somewhere between tired and sad.

[Vira-Lorr drew close and her first action and words were to just wrap her arms around her friend and give her a hug. Someone really sounded like they needed it.]

Mmmm. I'm betting she didn't say anything much. She never was very good at talking...

[Lus definitely DID need a hug, and while Vira was no Scorpia, it was still very comforting and warm and exactly what she needed].

T-thanks. Who're you talking about?

[Nobody hugged quite like Scorpia. that was just a rule. But she was still soft and warm, and definitely hugging her at the moment while they talked.]

Oh... the Doorway. I think I used to know her, but she only ever talked to me once.

[And it helped. Luz should have known better than to dwell on bad things that couldn't be changed, but the idea of forgetting about Margot, like she'd never been there, was too sad. Luz gave a small sigh, looking down a moment, then focusing on Vira's words].

I think I was told by someone she was different from the way that she is now, but maybe talking was never her strong suit.

No, it was never her strong suit. The creature who I think is the Doorway was in a set of boats along the side of that mountain. Sadly, they became inaccessible before you arrived in the dream, so you never met her. She would answer a single question of a group who came to call on her. Always terse. Always cold. Always a bit blunt. She wasn't unhelpful, but she didn't have a way with people.

[She started to curl one arm around her friend's shoulders and move towards somewhere for the two of them to sit.]

I think she was in there, waiting for someone. But it's hard to say.

So would you say that the person that is Doorway now is a lot like the person you saw, or is she super different?

[Luz moved with her for right now, because there was little else she thought she could do right now].

And they say she was waiting for Reckoning. Supposedly.

[Something she was wondering was even true thanks to a certain girl named Sayo she'd just met].

I don't think I knew her well enough to really say before. but there is a feeling of similarity to her...

The Reckoning... Well, that's how it is for love, isn't it? You don't always choose who you fall in love with. She has severe tastes.

Wish I got to know her a little better myself, but I guess you can't just get that familiar with your Pthumerian...

[Which Luz still knew to not really be true, but something about Doorway seemed so elusive].

Severe? Did you know her? Or see her, at least?

It may just take more patience is all. She isn't a bad person. I'm sure of that much.

The Reckoning? No, not yet. But I know of her by reputation, and very few of the Pthumerians are so openly violent in nature.

I don't think so either. It's more like...what I picture meeting a god of old would be like. They're sort of in their own world.

Someone I met a few days ago was thinking Reckoning and Doorway might be the same person. Is that possible, to be able to be two different entities?

To be two separate entities and yet in love with oneself, waiting for the other to return? Well... that sounds a bit like the kind of shenanigans that a deity might choose to use at times, but I do not think so. One is a being of supreme action, and the other is very passive. They are by nature extremely different.

And you don't there could be any alternate universe shenanigans that would make that possible?

[Luz was just curious. Sometimes when she thought she understood what was going on, new information was dropped and just made her more confused].

[Accidental Transmission]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

whoopsie!

Re: whoopsie!

Re: whoopsie!

Re: whoopsie!

Action

Re: Action

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)