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Entry tags:
audio -> video | un: 10-0
Hello, everyone.
[ The Operator’s youthful voice is cordial and cautious. Though they aren’t exactly shy, neither are they accustomed to mass communication. Sure, they come from a world replete with advanced technology and they’re familiar with the concept of network communications, but that’s usually handled for them by non-Tenno agents. The Tenno themselves have a reputation to maintain, one that’s about as far removed from diplomacy and idle chatter as one can imagine—the vast majority of people in their system don’t even know they can talk.
But, well, the Tenno certainly don’t have such a reputation here—and there is something the Operator very much wants to know. ]
I understand that this is the time when new Sleepers arrive in Trench. I’ve seen them washing up on the Farther Shores for the past few days.
I’d like to know: how many usually arrive at one time? And how likely is it that those new arrivals have some connection to the people already here?
[ Their tone up to this point has been quite serious and measured, their wording precise. They’re all too aware that this isn’t their usual role and they're doing their very best not to come across as incompetent or rude—or worse, childish. Yet, their even tone falters as they continue. ]
I was also wondering if—if anyone saw a certain person among the new arrivals. She might have looked like a woman with a purple headdress. Or she may have looked like a Sent—
[ They cut themselves off. No one here will know what a “Sentient” is and even if they did, they’d still be better off not hearing it in this context. But how else can they describe what the Lotus looks like? What she is? Words come to mind and they all make the Operator’s stomach churn. Insect. Amalgam. Monster.
For an instant, they bury their hot face in their hands, wanting nothing more than to disintegrate into the Void rather than to hear another word from themself. Then, they sigh, short and angry, and switch to the video setting on their Omni, propping it up to face them. Their surroundings show stone walls, flickering with firelight.
The video broadcast lasts mere seconds. The Operator, glaring at the Omni with luminous golden eyes, folds their hands in front of their chest as if in prayer. ]
Like this.
[ Then they reach once more for the Omni, and their broadcast ends. ]
[ The Operator’s youthful voice is cordial and cautious. Though they aren’t exactly shy, neither are they accustomed to mass communication. Sure, they come from a world replete with advanced technology and they’re familiar with the concept of network communications, but that’s usually handled for them by non-Tenno agents. The Tenno themselves have a reputation to maintain, one that’s about as far removed from diplomacy and idle chatter as one can imagine—the vast majority of people in their system don’t even know they can talk.
But, well, the Tenno certainly don’t have such a reputation here—and there is something the Operator very much wants to know. ]
I understand that this is the time when new Sleepers arrive in Trench. I’ve seen them washing up on the Farther Shores for the past few days.
I’d like to know: how many usually arrive at one time? And how likely is it that those new arrivals have some connection to the people already here?
[ Their tone up to this point has been quite serious and measured, their wording precise. They’re all too aware that this isn’t their usual role and they're doing their very best not to come across as incompetent or rude—or worse, childish. Yet, their even tone falters as they continue. ]
I was also wondering if—if anyone saw a certain person among the new arrivals. She might have looked like a woman with a purple headdress. Or she may have looked like a Sent—
[ They cut themselves off. No one here will know what a “Sentient” is and even if they did, they’d still be better off not hearing it in this context. But how else can they describe what the Lotus looks like? What she is? Words come to mind and they all make the Operator’s stomach churn. Insect. Amalgam. Monster.
For an instant, they bury their hot face in their hands, wanting nothing more than to disintegrate into the Void rather than to hear another word from themself. Then, they sigh, short and angry, and switch to the video setting on their Omni, propping it up to face them. Their surroundings show stone walls, flickering with firelight.
The video broadcast lasts mere seconds. The Operator, glaring at the Omni with luminous golden eyes, folds their hands in front of their chest as if in prayer. ]
Like this.
[ Then they reach once more for the Omni, and their broadcast ends. ]
video | un: Da Silva
She turns her own Omni to video, exposing her face. Her wintery meeting with the golden-eyed child had been brief and almost dream-like (the shore feels that way to her, a door between worlds), but she certainly hasn't forgotten them. They've joined the ranks of the many young ones in this place whom Rose frets over, hopes to encounter again.
And now she has. )
Hello again. ( It's said with an easy smile, warm, but she can't quite hide the little ache there in her eyes. They're looking for someone they know, asking the same questions she'd been wondering. It makes her heart hurt. )
I'm not sure how many arrive at a time, but.... I was told it isn't likely that someone from my world would arrive here. She did anyway. And I've heard others mention people from their worlds showing up, too.
( She doesn't want to give the child false hope, but.... hope is something Rose has clung onto time and time again; it's a precious thing. She wants to give them some of it, too. Her smile softens, reassuring. )
I haven't seen a woman like that, but I'll look for her. Is there a name I should call her?
video;
Hello.
[ Their voice is quiet, embarrassed. They hadn't meant to get so flustered. And what was the point of asking after the Lotus if they couldn't even provide a useful description of her? The one they did give must have seemed vague at best and ridiculous at worst. How will that help anyone find her?
For all that their frustration hangs over them like a storm cloud, it is lightened somewhat by the woman's words. She, too, had been waiting for someone—and that someone had come. The Operator can only hope they will be so fortunate. ]
She is called "Lotus." [ A pause, heavy with uncertainty. ] Or... if she is... if her hands are folded, [ they once again demonstrate with their own hands ] she is called "Natah."
[ They sigh, scowling at their own incompetence. ]
I'm sorry, I know that doesn't make sense. If I had the words, I'd say them. [ A pause. ] I'm glad the person you were waiting for showed up.
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It's all right, ( she says, and she means it, her smile simply warming in response, conversational. ) Sometimes it's hard to explain something. Put it from thought to word... I definitely know what that's like.
( Especially now, her world being something that involves parts and pieces that couldn't possibly be transcribed. They can only be thought, like a dream, or a nightmare. )
Lotus... like the flower. That's such a beautiful word. ( Their gesture of folded hands does mean something to her understanding and experience, and she wonders if it's the same for their world, though perhaps not, if they aren't able to word it that way. Still, she asks gently, as though trying to help coax thought— )
Natah — when she's praying? Is that what it means?
Thank you. It's my daughter. I've been searching for her ever since I woke up here.
no subject
[ Margulis's favorite—the one on which she designed the somatic pods, one of her dreaming children in each petal. The Lotus had chosen that legacy as her name—but what if it's a legacy she no longer wants?
At the question about praying, the Operator sighs again. ]
No. I don't know. Maybe? It... does kind of look like she's praying but... [ They close their eyes, remembering the last time they had seen the Lotus, and will the new, incomprehensible shape of her into words. ] It's like she's trapped inside another body and it makes her kneel like that, with her hands folded, but... but she doesn't look afraid or hurt. Just sad.
[ The Operator's eyes open, but remain low. Deep down, they know that that alien, indescribable version of the Lotus is the closest they've ever seen to her true form. The human mother they'd known for centuries was always just a mask, a costume worn to comfort children. But it doesn't matter to them—they'd still love her no matter what she looked like. They just want her to come back. ]
She said she was going home. To her mother. And that was the last I saw her.
[ It's almost funny, to be talking about such a thing to a woman who has only recently found her own daughter. The Operator hopes that their reunion wasn't nearly so complicated. ]
cw: mention of religious themes / figures ; religious doubt
It... sounds sad. It makes her feel sad. Rose's frown deepens, watching their dipped golden eyes, wondering just what this child has known. What this woman is to them. What... happened to her. )
Something else makes her do it? This... ( Rose slowly imitates the folded-hands gesture then, and she realises abruptly, with a strange pang, that she has not prayed since she left Silent Hill. Despite the locket that remains around her neck even now (the one with the Virgin Mary's visage upon it, the figure that had always brought her such intimate comfort), Rose has not prayed. She used to, all the time. On her knees, hands folded just like this, whispering — though rarely to God, Himself. It was always Mary she felt a connection to. The Mother.
But after seeing what happened to that little girl in that place, there hasn't been much... room inside of Rose, for what used to bring her comfort. She's not even sure she believes in God, anymore.
....Her eyelids flutter softly, and she swallows, slowly lowering her hands from the position. )
Can she escape it....? Whatever's.... making her do it? ( She seems disturbed by the concept, that frown spreading to her eyes. )
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I don't know. [ Their tone is angry, but it doesn't seem to be directed at the woman. Indeed, they aren't even looking at their Omni at all; instead, they're staring off to the side, eyes unfocused—remembering. ]
I don't even know if it was something else or if it was just... part of her. Another side of her.
[ The Lotus had said as much. That nothing had been done to her, that this is simply what she was. Maybe that's part of why she left. Maybe she just got tired of pretending. The Operator's expression softens and their next words slip out as a quiet confession. ]
I don't even know if she wants to see me again...
[ Slowly, their gaze drifts back to the Omni and their lips purse. It doesn't feel wise for them to be so open about these things, even to someone who seems kind. There are too many ways such knowledge could be used to hurt them. Even just talking about it hurts. ]
Just—if you see someone like that, please let me know. Even if she is Natah... maybe I could still talk to her.
no subject
She studies their face thoughtfully, sadly, wishing she could provide more. Help more. )
I promise, I'll look for her.
( She will; it's become a way of life for her, even if the person she's been searching for has been found. Now her role is to help others find their lost ones, and Rose possesses a certain relentlessness there; she'll absolutely be asking shop-owners and passerby if they've seen a woman of this description. If there's a chance this child can find someone from their home world, she'll do whatever she can to make that possible.
—A pause, and then her tone lightens, a little smile touching her mouth — an attempt at something a bit light-hearted, even if she very much means it. )
My name's Rose, so it seems kind of fitting for me to find a Lotus, doesn't it?
no subject
[ They know that the chances of the Lotus arriving here are slim. But it's not impossible, is it? This woman has had her daughter arrive here and even Junia has mentioned someone she knows from her homeworld appearing. And if one more person is keeping an eye out for the Lotus, well... maybe the Operator will see her again after all.
The woman's—Rose's words get a small smile from them. ]
It does. Maybe that will give some extra luck.
[ They doubt it but... it's a nice thought, isn't it? ]
You can call me Tenno. Like my username.
no subject
Maybe their Lotus will, too. )
It's nice to meet you, Tenno. ( Her smiles brightens a little, happy to have a name to refer to them as. She hadn't gotten to ask last time on that dreamlike, snowy beach-scape. )
Are you doing all right here, otherwise? Have you found a safe place to stay?
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[ Honestly, it's a little disconcerting. In the Origin System, there were always battles to be fought, allies to be saved, work to be done. There was no rest, even in sleep. Now, the Operator's days feel long and empty, lacking any pressing tasks to complete or orders to follow.
They haven't yet decided if they like it or not. ]
A Sleeper I met is letting me stay at her church. We've got plenty of incense there, so it should be safe.
no subject
Rose's smile is settling into something a bit more somber, thoughtful — worried, in her way. She does worry about what the children here might've once known. She's met some with all manner of capability (and responsibility, as a result.) There's even a boy here who was in training to be a "hero", who knows things children possibly shouldn't.
That nudge of worry suddenly finds a new form at what they say next. Rose blinks, looking visibly taken aback by that. )
There's a church here?
( When she'd first arrived, it's what she'd looked for first: a church, thinking this place was surely the work of the Brethren. That they had her child again. She hadn't been able to locate one and nobody mentioned any other places of worship.
Alarm pinches within her, tight and sharp and unpleasant. )
Is it— are there other people there?
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Yes. The Church of the Holy Flame.
[ Which hadn't meant anything to them before they came here, but may to others. Junia speaks of the Light as something universal and even the Operator can't deny that there are parallels with their own system's Red Veil. Maybe the woman has heard of it, in her own way. ]
There's just me and Sister Junia right now. But you're welcome to visit if you ever want to. [ There's an undercurrent of hope in those words. They've only interacted with Rose a couple of times, but she's already someone they'd like to see more of. ] It's in Cassandra.
cw: fire-related horror / imagery
Ash upon skin, the way it smeared almost like paint against the tips of the fingers. The smell of perpetual fire: not pleasant, not warm and cosy and comforting. Not even powerful in a beautiful, terrible way, the way the holy fires of God Himself are said to be in the religion she'd always followed.
No, this fire smelled like rot. Like skin and hair burning, endlessly. Like fluids boiling, like tissue curling inwards. That fire was said to cleanse, but all it did was torment. It wasn't something holy. It was pain, and destruction. It was unspeakably cruelty.
For a long moment, Rose is outside of her body, detached from it, numb. They're here, she thinks. They're here, and her daughter isn't safe. Maybe she'll never be safe.
....But it might not be them, and she flutters back into her body again, mouth tipped slightly open. Some ounce of logic hangs on, reminds Rose that she's encountered people here who reminded her of the Brethren and they weren't.
Still...... this is big. This is— she's going to have to address this. Find out more about it, as soon as possible. And.... if Tenno is in some sort of danger here, a thought that rests like a stone in the base of her throat, makes it hard to get proper breath. It may be this one woman for now, but what if the rest of them are gathering? What if they hurt Tenno the same way that— )
I'd— like that. To come see it. ( She tries to compose herself a little better; she doesn't want to risk scaring them, or potentially alerting this "Sister Junia" in the process. )
Sometimes churches can be a little... scary. Do you feel safe there?
no subject
It's not scary, [ the Operator says, tone reassuring. Compared to the temples of the Red Veil, it's downright cozy. ] And I think it's pretty safe. It's in Cassandra, so there's plenty of incense to keep monsters away.
[ Of course it doesn't occur to them that the woman might be asking after danger of a different kind. Junia, much like Rose herself, has been nothing but kind to them since they arrived. She is an ally—not a threat. ]
no subject
But not stagnant. Never that. No, she won't be sitting still, won't be keeping quiet. She'll find out more about this. )
I'll definitely be paying you a visit, in that case. ( She wills a smile, the kind she'd conjure up for Sharon after she had her bad spells at night. Often the little girl would wake up crying, confused, upset — a state that would only be made worse by seeing her parents' upset. Rose learned how to try and smile for her daughter even when she wanted to put her face in her hands and scream. )
Until I see you again, please know that you can always contact me if you ever need to. If you ever need help, or anything at all.
no subject
[ They do their best to sound nonchalant, as if they make invitations like this all the time. Still, there's a trace of excitement in their eyes—and perhaps a bit of trepidation. Having a visitor in their home is foreign territory for them. Maybe they should start thinking about preparing...
Rose's offer rouses them from their thoughts. They bow their head. ]
Thank you, [ they say, the giddy teenager once again subsumed by the solemn Tenno—but only just. A hint of a smile still remains. ] You can always call on me if you ever need help, too.