[Well... this is a lot. She's always approached this topic with a certain amount of shame. It's not the most thoroughly disgusting part of herself, probably. Not in her own book, anyway, but it's still something else that she always felt was... wrong with her.
She has no idea what to say to all this. But it does get her thinking.]
This is another thing you should probably be happy you missed about the old world, man.
But yeah. It's bullshit and it makes no sense. Sexuality is so fucking dumb. Being real for a second, I think it's less that I'm not sure about myself and more that other people being unsure got in my head and I started I guess just faking like I understood what the fuck they were on about?
There was this one girl I was super into. [Understatement. She forced the girl in question to kill her, to finally kiss her back. They're just the same thing when you're as thoroughly rotten inside as Faith is.] I thought she liked me back, and I thought we kinda had something I guess? Like, we went to prom together, we hung out every other night, we were the only two people like us left in the world. But I found out that the entire time I knew her she was secretly hiding her serial killer ex boyfriend from all her friends.
I think we did have something, in the end, she just didn't want to admit to it, 'cuz she was so fixated on just being a normal girl next door despite all the shit we both did. And I guess she thought that I was something to be ashamed of, and he was something to base her whole life around.
I don't know what I am?? All the girls I screwed back home seemed to think it was like a fun taboo to explore, or an experiment, or they were just being rebellious and saw me as an outlet. I fuck guys and it's just kinda disappointing, most of the time. And every time they want anything more I just bolt. I don't really do relationships in general, I'm not someone who should be in a relationship, but I've never really wanted it from any of the guys I've screwed.
So I guess I'm like... a little gay? Idk. Maybe a quarter or something.
text; un: AskMalice (cw for internalized homophobia, comphet)
She has no idea what to say to all this. But it does get her thinking.]
This is another thing you should probably be happy you missed about the old world, man.
But yeah. It's bullshit and it makes no sense. Sexuality is so fucking dumb. Being real for a second, I think it's less that I'm not sure about myself and more that other people being unsure got in my head and I started I guess just faking like I understood what the fuck they were on about?
There was this one girl I was super into. [Understatement. She forced the girl in question to kill her, to finally kiss her back. They're just the same thing when you're as thoroughly rotten inside as Faith is.] I thought she liked me back, and I thought we kinda had something I guess? Like, we went to prom together, we hung out every other night, we were the only two people like us left in the world. But I found out that the entire time I knew her she was secretly hiding her serial killer ex boyfriend from all her friends.
I think we did have something, in the end, she just didn't want to admit to it, 'cuz she was so fixated on just being a normal girl next door despite all the shit we both did. And I guess she thought that I was something to be ashamed of, and he was something to base her whole life around.
I don't know what I am?? All the girls I screwed back home seemed to think it was like a fun taboo to explore, or an experiment, or they were just being rebellious and saw me as an outlet. I fuck guys and it's just kinda disappointing, most of the time. And every time they want anything more I just bolt. I don't really do relationships in general, I'm not someone who should be in a relationship, but I've never really wanted it from any of the guys I've screwed.
So I guess I'm like... a little gay? Idk. Maybe a quarter or something.
[She is, in fact, fully gay.]