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I would like to ask for advice.

Last month, I badly hurt someone.

I don't like them, but they didn't deserve what I did to them.

And this person is important to people who are important to me, too.

What should I do? I don't know if an apology is enough. I don't know if they even want an apology, and I don't know what to do if they need more.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, even if you can't respond.

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[ wanda swears she could've written this many times over herself. ]

Did you mean to hurt them?

...I think a lot of us are dealing with similar shit, but yeah. It's a hell of a question.

I don't know what to do either.

By "more" do you mean eye for an eye kind of payback? If everyone does that, we don't need sea monsters to do us in.

In lieu of some actual justice system or AnonymousGrievanceBoard administrator, you've got one degree of separation. ImportantPerson in the middle talks with them, knows them, figures out maybe what might work. Since they care about both of you, they hopefully won't be screwing anyone over. Then you get their advice.

Sometimes you hurt people and you can't do anything about it after the fact.

I did.

When it happened I thought I was just trying to protect someone else. But even when I had a chance to stop the fight and assist them, I didn't.

[ Ah, Faith... she also had a bad month, didn't she? ]

Yes. Last month was very unpleasant.

I didn't like the person even before we came to Trench, but it was so easy to be angry.

[ Rin...? For a moment, Penny is suddenly, desperately hopeful that this is the Rin that she knows, the one that left Trench months ago. She doesn't jump right into it, however. 'Rin' isn't exactly a rare name, after all, and it might not even be this person's real name. Besides, she's giving good advice and it would be rude to just ignore it. ]

No, I am not worried about payback. Rather, I know what to do if that happens.

That's a good idea, but do you think it's okay to ask my friend for that sort of help? I didn't attack them, but my actions hurt them as well.

Stop them with minimal force required and disengage.

I cannot speak for your friend. If you trust them to say no if they need it, ask. Otherwise, the conversation might need another link. Which gets convoluted and feels kind of dumb, but people are messy and kind of dumb. Can't help that.

It sounds like you regret it, even if you don't like them.

I think you can apologize just once. If they want something more, they can be left wanting. Not everyone you hurt deserves you offering your kidney in apology.

Damn fine question.

You can't exactly go wrong with an apology. It doesn't matter if they haven't asked for one.
Hell, it's probably better if they haven't.
If they need more from you, that's where it gets tricky. Because a lot of times people won't ask you outright that they need more from you.
You have to show it yourself. You have to put in the effort to make sure that you won't repeat what happened.

But all of that's not really the hard part.

Edited 2022-08-15 01:27 (UTC)

[ What Wanda says makes sense, but... ]

I understand that I don't have to give them anything they ask for, but wouldn't it be more fair to do something for them?

Precisely.

[ Penny can handle herself in a fight. It's everything else that's tripping her up. ]

I suppose you're right. I think what you told me the first time will be very helpful, though. I'll try that.

Edited 2022-08-15 02:03 (UTC)

[ But what Rin just said about people being messy and dumb is another point of similarity, so she decides to switch to private and just go for it. ]

I'd like to ask you something else, as well.

Have you ever heard of a show called Sanctuary Moon?

[ Reliability rating drops 2 percent.

Murderbot checks the usage records for The Entertainment Feed. No one has watched Sanctuary Moon. Nor, so far as it can tell, has anyone lingered over it. The meta data doesn't tie it to Murderbot. Normally this wouldn't be a problem.

Reliability rating drops another 2 percent. ]

How have you heard of The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon?

Why would it be fair? You hurt them, you apologize. I think that's more than enough.

If you do something extra, will you feel better afterwards? Or will you only resent them?

[ Anna is giving fantastic advice, but the last line throws Penny for a genuine loop. ]

I think proving your sincerity is already difficult...

What is the hard part, then?

[she takes a moment, not to be dramatic but because she's still processing it herself.]

There's the chance that nothing you do will be enough.
That you can put your heart and soul into changing and making amends and it still won't fix things.
The hard part is accepting that.

[ Let's see... how to word this while still respecting Rin's intense need for privacy? ]

I had a friend that was also named Rin. I got to see some of Rin's favorite media once, and Sanctuary Moon was one of the shows.

But Rin went back to the sea, so we haven't seen each other in months.

[ Surely this Rin can understand why she's making the connection. ]

I don't think there's any one answer for situations like these.

Are you sorry for what you did? Then give a heartfelt apology. It doesn't mean that the other person needs to accept it or will.

Sometimes actions will speak louder than words ever will, and there are occasions where time is also needed.

[ Huh. The question surprises Penny - not because she doesn't understand why Wanda is asking, but because it doesn't occur to her that she would resent anyone. ]

I suppose it depends.

If they wanted to kill me in exchange, or stop spending time with our mutual friend, I wouldn't do something like that.

But if they asked me to fix their house, or to not show up when they were spending time with my friend, or help them out in some other way in exchange, I think doing that would make me feel better.

[ Murderbot stares at the screen. Unbidden "Please wait while I retrieve that information" appears on the omni screen, but it deletes the message without reading it. ]

I have no memory of watching Sanctuary Moon with anyone in Trench.

Does that happen here—forgetting something like that?

And if they asked you to keep fixing their house? Would you be happy to do it even if it's years from now and you haven't hurt them again?

From what I have experienced, it will likely depend on the feelings of that person and those of the people you both find important, I'm afraid.

Boy, I've had to make a few of those apologies in my time.
Sometimes, something gets ahold of your head and you end up doing something you didn't plan.
And even if I really don't like them, I hate it when I lose control of myself.

[She has no clue this is Penny, because this sort of thing happens all the time. Which was probably rather ironic.]

When it comes to me, I've probably had to do more a lot of times.
But I don't exactly have the cleanest of track records in my time in this place.
So, maybe just try an apology and see if they'll accept it?

I mean, you can't possibly be as bad as me if you're asking for help.

No, I wouldn't - but just because I help them once or even a few times doesn't mean I have to help them forever, right?

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