text ; anonymous

[hacktivated]

I would like to ask for advice.

Last month, I badly hurt someone.

I don't like them, but they didn't deserve what I did to them.

And this person is important to people who are important to me, too.

What should I do? I don't know if an apology is enough. I don't know if they even want an apology, and I don't know what to do if they need more.




Thank you for taking the time to read this, even if you can't respond.

Comments

text | un: 🐟 wanda

[explosion]

[ wanda swears she could've written this many times over herself. ]

Did you mean to hurt them?

[hacktivated]

I did.

When it happened I thought I was just trying to protect someone else. But even when I had a chance to stop the fight and assist them, I didn't.

[explosion]

It sounds like you regret it, even if you don't like them.

I think you can apologize just once. If they want something more, they can be left wanting. Not everyone you hurt deserves you offering your kidney in apology.

text, un: AskMalice

[slayerskiss]

...I think a lot of us are dealing with similar shit, but yeah. It's a hell of a question.

I don't know what to do either.

[hacktivated]

[ Ah, Faith... she also had a bad month, didn't she? ]

Yes. Last month was very unpleasant.

I didn't like the person even before we came to Trench, but it was so easy to be angry.

[slayerskiss]

Righteous anger's a hell of a drug.

I think there's a lot of people from back home who'd want to kill me for things I did there. A few people tried.

I sort of thought that was behind me, but. I guess not.

text | un: rin

[offinventory]

By "more" do you mean eye for an eye kind of payback? If everyone does that, we don't need sea monsters to do us in.

In lieu of some actual justice system or AnonymousGrievanceBoard administrator, you've got one degree of separation. ImportantPerson in the middle talks with them, knows them, figures out maybe what might work. Since they care about both of you, they hopefully won't be screwing anyone over. Then you get their advice.



Sometimes you hurt people and you can't do anything about it after the fact.

[hacktivated]

[ Rin...? For a moment, Penny is suddenly, desperately hopeful that this is the Rin that she knows, the one that left Trench months ago. She doesn't jump right into it, however. 'Rin' isn't exactly a rare name, after all, and it might not even be this person's real name. Besides, she's giving good advice and it would be rude to just ignore it. ]

No, I am not worried about payback. Rather, I know what to do if that happens.

That's a good idea, but do you think it's okay to ask my friend for that sort of help? I didn't attack them, but my actions hurt them as well.

text; un: reueschwert

[hauntedsavior]

Damn fine question.

You can't exactly go wrong with an apology. It doesn't matter if they haven't asked for one.
Hell, it's probably better if they haven't.
If they need more from you, that's where it gets tricky. Because a lot of times people won't ask you outright that they need more from you.
You have to show it yourself. You have to put in the effort to make sure that you won't repeat what happened.

But all of that's not really the hard part.

[hacktivated]

[ Anna is giving fantastic advice, but the last line throws Penny for a genuine loop. ]

I think proving your sincerity is already difficult...

What is the hard part, then?

text; un: amidala

[democratically]

I don't think there's any one answer for situations like these.

Are you sorry for what you did? Then give a heartfelt apology. It doesn't mean that the other person needs to accept it or will.

Sometimes actions will speak louder than words ever will, and there are occasions where time is also needed.

[hacktivated]

I am.

I don't mind apologizing, but I don't know how to make it clear that I mean it. I don't want them to think I'm only doing it for our mutual friend's sake.

text ; un: echo

[individualized]

From what I have experienced, it will likely depend on the feelings of that person and those of the people you both find important, I'm afraid.

[hacktivated]

I thought so.

My friend is kind - the kindest person I know - but the person I hurt...

I don't know. I thought they were just an awful person, but they were trying to help when I attacked them.

text - UN: IceCream

[threelayers]

Boy, I've had to make a few of those apologies in my time.
Sometimes, something gets ahold of your head and you end up doing something you didn't plan.
And even if I really don't like them, I hate it when I lose control of myself.

[She has no clue this is Penny, because this sort of thing happens all the time. Which was probably rather ironic.]

When it comes to me, I've probably had to do more a lot of times.
But I don't exactly have the cleanest of track records in my time in this place.
So, maybe just try an apology and see if they'll accept it?

I mean, you can't possibly be as bad as me if you're asking for help.

[hacktivated]

[ Ah.

Well, that's a risk of posting anonymously, she supposes. Still, seeing this message just makes her feel somehow even worse. Penny couldn't stand Neo even before this, and here she is trying to help what she assumes is a stranger. There's a lot to respond to, but Penny zeroes in on that last line. ]

You're trying to help when you don't even know me.

I don't think you're as bad of a person as you say.

Private Text; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

I was told by a friend that apologies are not for you. You give them but expect nothing back. I gave one recently and I very much did not want to. It went about as well as I expected, he threw it in my face and behaved childishly. I wish I hadn't given it all but it was necessary. I suggest you do the same.

private ; de-anoned

[hacktivated]

[ Maul has gone private and decided to be very candid with her, so Penny does the same and switches back to her 'Maid-in-Mantle' account. ]

I'm sorry that happened to you. That was very unkind of him.

Why do you still regret it if it was necessary?

Text: UN: Random Resident

[onekindsoul]

[Ruby. Does not know for sure if this is who think she thinks it is.

Emotions were high in general last month but it feels like it could be close to home.

She also wants to try and be a little subtle about it.]

Hey.

I don't think there's anything wrong with apologizing to them.

Sometimes reaching out and clearing the air can be the first step to making things right.

If they need something more than that. You can figure it out along the way. But you wont change anything by standing still.

1/2

[hacktivated]

[ By the time Ruby responds, Penny's gotten lots of advice from a lot of different perspectives. She has a pretty good idea of where she wants to go from here, and seeing 'Random Resident' respond makes those plans firmly click into place.

She's nervous, though, more nervous than she's ever been in her life. Ultimately, there's no response to Random Resident. ]

[hacktivated]

[ A few minutes later, though, there's suddenly a new voice message in Ruby's private inbox. ]

Ruby... when you have a few minutes, can we talk...?

text - un: ilikemeat

[velvet_teen]

if you dont' like them why do you care

do your people want you to apologize, you can do it in front of them to make them happy then

unless it is me you hurt and then i would like you to grovel properly of course

[hacktivated]

Because my friends care about them.

[ Or at least they tolerate her. It's a little complicated. ]

When someone hurts the people I care about I'm upset with that person, and I don't want my friends to feel the same way about me.

Text

[frogfear]

You're not alone. I'm sure lots of people did a lot of things last month they wish they hadn't. I know I did.

I think apologies are a good idea. Even if you don't think it's even a start, even if the other person isn't ready to forgive you. It at least lets them know you didn't want to hurt them, or at least that you regret it.

[hacktivated]

[ Ah, that makes something click into place in Penny's mind. ]

Because if someone says something once it's easy to think it's a lie, but if they maintain it it's more likely they're being sincere. Right?