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Entry tags:
- anna amarande: celene,
- chara: kai,
- faith lehane: kai,
- gideon nav: floral,
- izuku "deku" midoriya: tea,
- johnny lawrence: josh,
- kaworu nagisa: ru,
- mercymorn the first: beth,
- michael: lu,
- oscar pine: basil,
- pyrrha dve: silyara,
- sharon da silva: lunare,
- tory nichols: lex,
- vash the stampede: batty,
- vi: aeri,
- xerxes break: callie
text | un: xX_coolbonebabe_Xx
content warnings: identity theft, salacious libel
[ Someone logs onto their very own Omni, in a normal and regular fashion. ]
How do you do, fellow squids. This is Gideon Nav, cavalier of the Ninth House, here to clear up some critical misinformation I have seen circulating around ourgutterswill nightmare local network.
FIRSTLY, I must correct the record on 'all pretty ladies' being 'into' me. This is not true! Whatever rude physical charms I possess are vastly outweighed by my many serious defects of character. Women are repulsed by my crude jokes and my leering eyes.
SECOND, my claims to insight into the workings of the Empire of the Nine Houses have been grossly overstated on my part. I know less than nothing, having invented numerous disgusting rumors and scurrilous accusations out of my own feverish, obscene imagination. There is nothing 'problematic' about the blessed Saints, and I frankly deserve to be scourged for my heresy!
THIRD, many of my deficiencies may be laid squarely at the foot of the Ninth House. We have spent all of our money on candles instead of nutritional supplements or modern educational materials, and I have therefore learned everything I know from pornographic magazines.
FOURTH, bone magic is not the superior branch of necromancy. In fact, bones are stupid, and I hate to look at them.
FIFTH, I claim to be so clever, and yet I keep falling into traps. Curious!!
I am extremely sorry for my appalling behavior and wish to be a good little cavalier going forward. If you have any questions or comments, present them now, and I will strive to make right all that I have done so obstinately wrong!
[ Someone logs onto their very own Omni, in a normal and regular fashion. ]
How do you do, fellow squids. This is Gideon Nav, cavalier of the Ninth House, here to clear up some critical misinformation I have seen circulating around our
FIRSTLY, I must correct the record on 'all pretty ladies' being 'into' me. This is not true! Whatever rude physical charms I possess are vastly outweighed by my many serious defects of character. Women are repulsed by my crude jokes and my leering eyes.
SECOND, my claims to insight into the workings of the Empire of the Nine Houses have been grossly overstated on my part. I know less than nothing, having invented numerous disgusting rumors and scurrilous accusations out of my own feverish, obscene imagination. There is nothing 'problematic' about the blessed Saints, and I frankly deserve to be scourged for my heresy!
THIRD, many of my deficiencies may be laid squarely at the foot of the Ninth House. We have spent all of our money on candles instead of nutritional supplements or modern educational materials, and I have therefore learned everything I know from pornographic magazines.
FOURTH, bone magic is not the superior branch of necromancy. In fact, bones are stupid, and I hate to look at them.
FIFTH, I claim to be so clever, and yet I keep falling into traps. Curious!!
I am extremely sorry for my appalling behavior and wish to be a good little cavalier going forward. If you have any questions or comments, present them now, and I will strive to make right all that I have done so obstinately wrong!
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