(VIDEO) — UN: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

(the video begins of a zoom up of a pair of eyes. an animal to be exact. they blink curiously before it gets pulled back -- revealing it's a spider monkey holding the omni. he holds it up above him and even turns it upside-down and other various angles. hopefully the lovely people aren't easily to become motion sickness upon viewing this but if they do, their own fault really.)

Got it workin'?

(there's a voice coming from off camera; familiar to some or not. but the monkey looks off to the direction of the voice before turning the omni over so whoever is watching can now see jinx sitting in a chair -- slouching with her arm hanging over the top railing. there's a grin that slowly grows on her face, however, it's not... exactly a friendly kind. impish? troubling? dangerous? you'd be the judge. nevertheless, jinx hunches over now with both her arms drape over her knees -- looking directly at the omni.)

So! — Greetings people of.... whatever this place is. Kiiiinda forgot the name but not really important. I've been hearin' a lotta here and there that I've been here before. Don't really remember it, though. (a brief pause as she thinks.) Except the last time. I remember the last time but not the other times.

Buuuuuuuuut ♪! Since I've been here a whoooole BUNCH of times that means I gotta have some friends here, right?

(she bites her bottom lip to hold back a giggle as the video suddenly wavers around. but quickly it straightens up and focus with a closer look of jinx (it seems she's the one holding it now) in a bird's eye view. her spider monkey climbs on her body then curling himself along her shoulder and neck while also looking up at the feed along with her.)

So if ya know me, contact me. OH! And you got like, thirty minutes to convince me why my former self even bothered wasting my breath on you. Don't keep me waitin' too long 'cuz I get bored easily.

(a beat.)

ACTUALLY, NEVERMIND!!! — Decided to change it to twenty minutes. (her spider monkey seems to be screeching in laughter at jinx's sudden time change but resumes on nuzzling it's head against her cheek.)

OH OH! One more big thing. There's someone here by the name of Vi. If you know her, contact me too. So we can aaaaalll be friends and get along. No shame in that, right?

(she says this but there's something about that smile that really makes it... off putting. regardless though, jinx hums quietly as she cocks her head to the side.)

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

Comments

[azurestar]

[He can't help but snicker along with her. Look, everything is awful all the time, so laughing at it feels like the thing to do.]

Oh man, you know what's even better? "Triple H" totally sounds like a butt cream. For hemorrhoids!

[opheliac]

"Regular H" for normal hemorrhoids, "Double H" for double hemorrhoids, "Triple H" for WHOA SHIT, EMERGENCY, HOW THE HELL YOU GET THAT?!!

(she is giggling so hard -- jinx is leaning back on her chair on its hind legs. but luckily, she isn't falling over (yet). )

Waitwaitwait! We shouldn't joke. Someone here might have that problem. ... Actually, NAH! Let's laugh.

[azurestar]

[Lance lets out a burst of a snort-laugh and devolves into some laughter.] Aw man, talk about gross. Y'know, I think I might've seen a Trenchie with triple hemorrhoids walking around right before they transformed into a beast. Their butt was bulging out like this-

[He bends over to give her a profile of himself and gestures with his hands behind his own rear to give her an idea.]

And then BOOM, his pants ripped open and he turned into a big bulbous monster. [He straightens and puts a hand to his chin as he recalls, trying really hard not to laugh.] K-kinda dumb luck that I got him to turn back, the guy's still walking around, b-but he's… got a limp now.

[It shouldn't be funny, poor dude. So Lance is trying really hard to hold in his laughter, little bits escaping here and there.]

[opheliac]

Ewwwwww!! — That is SO nasty...!! But also, HA HA! He probably deserved that gross lump. I'm willin' to bet that guy is actually some slimy sleazeball that'll con ya outta crap.

(or maybe the reality, the trench folk is just a really nice person with a family and a hard worker. but who needs the truth? because making things up is way funnier.)

[azurestar]

[He makes a bit of a dismissive wave with his hand and chuckles.]

I dunno about what he deserved, but the guy should go see a night walker more regularly or something. Waaay less embarrassing for him that way. Though, I guess that depends on what kinda night walker he goes to now…

[opheliac]

What's a "night walker"?

[azurestar]

It's a profession around here. Night Walkers help people with corruption by like being there for them and stuff. In all kinds of ways. [He's reached the edge of town and pauses to lean against the outer wall.] Iii've dabbled in it a bit myself on the weekends.

[opheliac]

So what do ya do to help the corrupted people? Smack 'em over the head and tell 'em to quit it?

(because that will definitely work and not agitate the situation.)

[azurestar]

No! [He looks perturbed by that for a moment, then thinks about it.] Well, maybe? It's different for everyone. Some people just need to talk, or listen to some live music. Others get help from hugs or sex.

[He shrugs.] So I guess whatever floats your boat.

[opheliac]

No way, you're makin' that up!! I know sex can reduce stress but corruption? Get outta here. There's no way...!

[azurestar]

Oh totally. Corruption can get way worse when you isolate yourself and get stressed, and sex is like the ultimate way to bang out those two problems in one go. It's not for everyone, but totally works for plenty of people.