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video; un: taka
[ While he's trying his best to keep up his usual even, monotone façade, anyone who pays attention to detail will notice that Sasuke's looking a little more on edge. Maybe disoriented, even.
He clears his throat slightly before speaking. ]
For those who have been learning taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu, I may need to put lessons on hold temporarily. I've been having... memory lapses and apologize to those who may have come to the dojo and waited for nothing.
I will pick up lessons and take on any interested new students once I feel more like myself.
[ He frowns, his hand reaching up to rub at his temple, the way one does when they're getting a headache behind their eyes. ]
Unrelated: if I'm understanding the timeline correctly, those of us who have been here the longest would be coming up around a year in this place. Given the influences of the moons and seasons leaving the possibility for repetition, what sort of things were happening this time last year? What should those of us who arrived after be prepared for?
He clears his throat slightly before speaking. ]
For those who have been learning taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu, I may need to put lessons on hold temporarily. I've been having... memory lapses and apologize to those who may have come to the dojo and waited for nothing.
I will pick up lessons and take on any interested new students once I feel more like myself.
[ He frowns, his hand reaching up to rub at his temple, the way one does when they're getting a headache behind their eyes. ]
Unrelated: if I'm understanding the timeline correctly, those of us who have been here the longest would be coming up around a year in this place. Given the influences of the moons and seasons leaving the possibility for repetition, what sort of things were happening this time last year? What should those of us who arrived after be prepared for?
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Do you think paranoia played a part in your decision?
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[ The paranoia.
It had been the paranoia.
She swallows roughly, unable to stop her eyes from welling up with tears and she quickly looks down. She tries to think of what to say, but nope...nothing is going to come out quickly enough. ]
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Did... I say something wrong...?
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No, I told you, I never meant to force you to be mine. But I thought maybe it wasn't just the paranoia that made you want to marry me.
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[ His forehead wrinkles as he digests the rest of her words. Had he said he didn't want to marry her? He's sure he didn't. That—
Hold on, it's hit him. ]
I meant that I would have taken more time to plan a traditional ceremony.
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...What?
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Like you said.
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I...I thought, I mean you said...
[ She trips over an explanation, before she looking sideways in embarrassment. ]
I'm sorry Sasuke-kun.
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[ A beat. ]
It's fine. You were obviously worried. Why didn't you ask me sooner?
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[ She still looks embarrassed, trying to hide her eyes as she berates herself for even her briefest of doubts. ]
It was just a nagging little thought. I've held on to the possibility of you loving me back for so long that I guess, sometimes it all feels too good to be true. You make me feel loved, so I've tried to trust that.
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[ He swallows, his forehead wrinkling, and there's a long pause before he finally replies: ]
I love you, too. I'm ... sorry I'm not better at saying it.
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That's okay, you always seem to say it when I need to hear it.
[ Like when he says it during sex. Her blush deepens. ]
You're right. I liked what we did it, but I like what we did because it was with you. And I don't need a huge ceremony, Anata. I don't think that would have suited you.
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I'm glad you liked it. But if you... want to tell people, it's okay.
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[ She's thoughtful for a moment. ]
It was pretty spontaneous though, especially for you. You don't do anything without a lot of deep thinking. That night though, it all happened so fast. One second we're passionately kissing me then you're pulling away suddenly. Before I know it you're waking me up and telling me that we need to get married right then and there. And the marriage was consummated before dawn.
[ Her cheeks start to burn and she looks away again, though this time for different reasons. When she looks back she has a mischievous glint in her eyes as she searches his face for answers. ]
Did you marry me so you could have sex with me?
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[ Wow!!!! This is a rude attack.
Sasuke can feel how red his face is turning at that question, his nose and cheeks practically burning under the surface, and he looks away from the feed to clear his throat awkwardly. Even if it wasn't a primary motivator, he couldn't say that it wasn't a motivator at all. So just outright denying it would be a lie. ]
Hmph.
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I hope it's been everything you'd imagined, considering you're stuck with me now.
[ She's teasing really. ]
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He's very relieved he privated this feed now. ]
It's... enjoyable, yes.
[ Smooth as fuck, this guy. ]
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I think so too.
[ There's a pause. ]
It's okay, you know. To like it I mean.
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[ Does he really know that? In theory, maybe, but he's not sure he's ever let it actually settle in. To take root that he could actually like something and be allowed to feel good, truly good. Peaceful. Happy, even.
He swallows, his forehead wrinkling as he glances off screen. ]
... In the moment, I know.
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Well a moment is a start, isn't it?
[ She taps a finger against her lower lip thoughtfully, considering her words, so she doesn't push away the opportunity to talk more openly. ]
Obviously it's not like I haven't had my own doubts, but those moments are what feel true to me too. They remind me of what's real.
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[ In a place like this, reminders of what's real seem almost even more important than they are at home. Sasuke hates knowing that if these memory lapses get worse, if even larger chunks of himself disappear, he won't even have her touch to remind him that it would be okay.
He swallows, trying to push those fears away, because there's little use in fretting about a future he has no control over. But for once, it's hard to quiet that worry. ]
... If... This place... If it takes that away from us... Try and hold on to those moments for me. Until I can remember them again.
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Anata...
[ She lets out her breath. ]
Always. And I'll remind you of who you are, whether you want me to or not. [ There's a small laugh as she thinks about that. ] After all I've already got a lot of experience in not allowing you to forget me.
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Persistence is an admirable quality.