deernet | video, un:charon

Good evening, all. I think this is what is termed a 'bandwagon.' However, as I imagine we will all be busy dead, dying, or in the process of resurrecting soon, I thought I had better commit before October.

I'm opening a bakery and sweets shop.

[Lysithea pans the camera to a table that is covered with pans filled with dozens of buns, cakes, and confections of different colors. It really looks extremely well done. One would imagine that Lysithea applies herself with the same intensity to any task she undertakes.]

Everything will be sourced from traditional Fódlan desserts, passed down through family histories and collected by hand in this book. I've realized that if I'm not the one who makes these treats, I'm... never going to taste them again. So I thought I should share.

[The view changes to an enormous tome currently open to a page titled Saghert and Cream in script prominently displaying a luscious picture of some kind of fruit and cream concoction. It really looks like this was drawn by hand.]

I'm baking from my room for now. If you want anything here, you can drop by or I'll bring it over. If you want delivery, you've got to get at least a dozen, because frankly, I'm not running all over town to give you one sweet bun. I'll open a proper location when it's not Death Month.

...Thanks.

[She signs off after a moment's awkward hesitation, as if she's not sure what to do next.]

[video pt 2, ten minutes later]

It's -- me again. Upon further reflection, I have no idea how to run a business, at all, apart from the portion where you confidently declare it in public.

I would... appreciate advice.

And help. If you are willing to be paid in cake.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Lysithea listens to this speech patiently, recognizing about halfway through that the passionate prose is being delivered less for her benefit and more for the speaker's. She is no stranger to epiphanies, or to allowing her true feelings to unravel through spoken words in real time.

Although... 'full life'. This guy looks like he's like... thirty.]

Far be it for me to question a purpose that you've determined for yourself. I simply warn that I can't guarantee results. I am an accomplished mage by training, a gremory and master of spellcraft - not a professional baker.

If you tie your training with me, we'll learn to walk this path together.

[a pause
lysithea feels her fingers itch to reach through the video]

Your strong incentivization is noted.

I am merely a simple swordsman. It may well be that my true kitchen talents lie in dicing up soup fixings.

[He pauses to (lovingly) shove his omen out of his face.]

If it doesn't work out, that's quite alright. Just so long as someone is making sweets for me to eat in the end.

[The youthful facade is a swiftly fading magical lie. He just turned forty like. Right now, actually. That's like a hundred and twelve in Break years and he will complain.]

[Forty is clearly ancient, but also still not considered a 'full life' in most circles. ...To be fair, Lysithea's conception of a full life isn't exactly robust given her own circumstances. Still, she understands that most people don't expect to keel over before age sixty.]

How about you use that sword to etch designs in chocolate?

But I understand your desires. When would you like to begin this... training?

I am known to be rather precise.

[He's not stupid enough to try to use a sword in the kitchen. Incidentally, once things really get going, Break will prove to be immediately great with a similarly violent kitchen tool: the rolling pin. A couple of wooden slats on either side of the dough to help him keep the thickness even, and he'll be the quickest and most efficient croissant lamination machine she's ever encountered.

It's the little things.]

That, I'll leave up to you. As I've only just begun acquiring teachers, my schedule is still open as of yet, and -- I'm not the one learning to run a whole business just this second.

The flip side of that is that I could certainly use some help with the day to day details while figuring out the bigger picture. If you don't know anything about the baking process at all, you can at least sort out supplies and deliveries. I'll trade your assistance for some beginner baking lessons.

How are you at getting good bargains for valuable commodities? I need to start tempting the merchants and the dock workers with pies.

[Lysithea, for all that she claims to know nothing, tends to have a lot of ideas swirling around in that head at any given moment.]

[Break perks up visibly.]

Oh, I'm wonderful at that! In this place, I've had great luck pulling the "dotty old blind man" shtick, but I can shmooze with aristocrats and pubcrawlers and everything in between.

[Is she seriously going to pay him in sweets and kitchen knowledge to go bother people??? She is his new favorite now, he's definitely keeping her.]

Hmmmmmmm.

I think this will work out.

[Lysithea gives a nod.]

Then -- I loitered around the docks interrogating people long enough to know that there's a shipment of cinnamon arriving in two days on a boat called the The Stygian Deep. Your job is to speak with the merchant and get me as much of that cinnamon as possible.

[...]

Within reason, I mean, I don't need an entire crateful or anything.

Watch out for thieves. The area isn't very safe. You're sure you can handle this? I don't want to send you somewhere you'll be robbed blind.

[oops bad phrasing]

I am already blind, so it's fine.

[Because of course he caught that. Bonus points because the whole reason Break is down an eyeball is that someone freaking stole it --]

Don't worry, don't worry. I may be a decrepit old squid now, but I could handle petty thieves in my sleep. You hear that, Baltus? The Stygian Deep, remember that.

Er.

[whoops]

Yes. My apologies. Robbed... [...why are there no other turns of phrase] a great deal... [she finishes, feeling stupid]

I look forward to your success, though. Why don't you bring over the cinnamon when you're done, and we'll make that your official start day?

Certainly. Then, I will be in touch with you soon.

[A profitable first foray onto the network for one Xerxes Break. Fast forward a couple days and he does indeed turn up with two rather hefty well-sealed jars of ground cinnamon, which should last some while even with Lysithea baking in bulk -- and a small pile vanilla beans which he has been assured you can steep in booze to make baking things with, and a cute pan that will produce wee cakelets shaped like autumn leaves and acorns which amused him very much. His vague answers as to how the hell he managed this imply that he may have gotten himself involved in some sort of baking mafia, and also that his cane has a sword in it. He also has a scrap of paper upon which is written a half-remembered recipe for some dock worker's grandmother's snickerdoodles, which comes with a promise that if Lysithea is able to perfect it, she will know any and all details about relevant shipments a solid week in advance.

Break enjoys quests, and also winning at them. A happy ending for all...!]

Wha -- ?

[Lysithea turns the cake pan over in her hands a few times, holding it up towards the light as if it will reveal some sort of hidden secret.]

How did you... Hm.

I foresee a profitable partnership in our future, Mr. Xerxes Break. And Balthus. [Balthus is slipped a cookie absentmindedly. This might happen multiple times over the course of his visit today.] Well, this is more than sufficient. Let's begin your education, then.

[The cinnamon and vanilla is carefully put away, and Lysithea clears space to allow for enough room for a blind man to experiment as he pleases. She is, despite some rough edges to her personality, an excellent teacher. Far more patient than she is in everyday affairs and capable of giving clear and comprehensive instruction. There isn't much need for swords in baking, but Break will spend an afternoon honing his artistry with a mixer, a sifter, and a rolling pin instead. By the end, he might, perhaps, feel marginally more comfortable navigating a kitchen. He will feel very comfortable hitting things with rolling pins.

Happy endings indeed.]

Edited 2021-10-09 03:23 (UTC)

video, un:charon

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