video, un:charon

[notimeforfailure]

Good evening, all. I think this is what is termed a 'bandwagon.' However, as I imagine we will all be busy dead, dying, or in the process of resurrecting soon, I thought I had better commit before October.

I'm opening a bakery and sweets shop.

[Lysithea pans the camera to a table that is covered with pans filled with dozens of buns, cakes, and confections of different colors. It really looks extremely well done. One would imagine that Lysithea applies herself with the same intensity to any task she undertakes.]

Everything will be sourced from traditional Fódlan desserts, passed down through family histories and collected by hand in this book. I've realized that if I'm not the one who makes these treats, I'm... never going to taste them again. So I thought I should share.

[The view changes to an enormous tome currently open to a page titled Saghert and Cream in script prominently displaying a luscious picture of some kind of fruit and cream concoction. It really looks like this was drawn by hand.]

I'm baking from my room for now. If you want anything here, you can drop by or I'll bring it over. If you want delivery, you've got to get at least a dozen, because frankly, I'm not running all over town to give you one sweet bun. I'll open a proper location when it's not Death Month.

...Thanks.

[She signs off after a moment's awkward hesitation, as if she's not sure what to do next.]

[video pt 2, ten minutes later]

It's -- me again. Upon further reflection, I have no idea how to run a business, at all, apart from the portion where you confidently declare it in public.

I would... appreciate advice.

And help. If you are willing to be paid in cake.

Comments

[entreats]

Well, it'd sure help if I knew that.

[ In other words: she has absolutely no idea.

This Just Happens Sometimes. ]

The other time I made a cake together with Ruby, she ended up losing her housekeys, and it turned out we baked them into the cake.

[ ... ]

So I guess I'm not very good at it.

[ An understatement of a conclusion to all of that. ]

[notimeforfailure]

Hmmmm.

[Lysithea considers these solemn words while making a strong effort to keep a smile from spreading across her face.]

You know, that sounds like a challenge to me. If I'm going to be a great baker... then being able to teach the unteachable should be a part of my path forward, right?

Unrelatedly, I want to experience this for myself. Perhaps you have a kind of heretofore unidentified magic.

[entreats]

[ There's a soft sound, as if Ange is about to start some half-embarrassed protest at the idea that she is, in any way, unteachable.

Though that urge is quickly suppressed the moment she notices an opening for some deadpan when Lysithea continues to speak. That's clearly so much better than actually expressing her embarrassment. ]

I'm not sure if I want to be known as Ange, the Witch of Kitchen Disasters.

[notimeforfailure]

That's too negative. How about Ange, the Witch of Flambé?

[that's probably a real magic spell
probably]

I speak facetiously, but I think I can handle a few explosions here and there, even ones that have no earthly reason for happening. You have no need to fret when you're around me.

[see: words that would be played in slow-mo at lysithea's funeral]

[entreats]

[ We've found the real reason Lysithea isn't going to live for long anymore. ]

Are you sure you should be that happy about inviting explosions into your life?

[ Lysithea? Lysithea? ]

.. but if you really don't mind, then I guess I could try to learn a thing or two from you. It might come in useful.

[notimeforfailure]

[Look she has like, decades of newfound life to enjoy now, she's riding a high.]

There is never a time when knowing how to make cake isn't useful.

[What if Ange is trapped on a deserted island and a plane drops off supplies but those supplies are crates of flour, vanilla, yeast, and sugar? You can't eat flour; that would just be silly.]

Before you leave my kitchen, you'll know how to create at least one thing. That's a guarantee.

[and that one thing is : despair]

[entreats]

Are you sure you aren't aiming a little too high there?

[ That's not even her doubting Lysithea's abilities to teach someome something.

It's 100% Ange doubting her own abilities to.. ever make something vaguely edible.. ]

Or are you saying you're going to lock me in there until it happens? That's illegal, you know.

[notimeforfailure]

Laws are probably different here in Trench.

[Lysithea responds cheerfully.]

If trapping people in uncomfortable spaces was illegal, I wouldn't have been teleported into a well to drown with a monster girl last week.

You'll be fine in the kitchen.

[:)]

[entreats]

...

Can I at least call my girlfriend first to let her know that another girl is going to be confining me to her kitchen for an indefinite amount of time?

[ help. ]

[notimeforfailure]

I'd like to point out that you volunteered.

[just saying]

All humor aside, feel free to come by whenever you please, Ange. I'm sure it will be a more positive experience than you imagine.

[it won't
but perhaps we might leave them on this positive note before lysithea learns what a Terrible Mistake she's making.]

yes, we can wrap it here!

[entreats]

[ Lysitea's house won't survive the winter.. ]

I.. guess I can stop by sometime.. [ How Ange, an actual 20 year old at this point, manages to sound like a toddler that doesn't want to visit the dentist while saying those words is a small miracle. ]

So we'll see by then.