video, un:charon

[notimeforfailure]

Good evening, all. I think this is what is termed a 'bandwagon.' However, as I imagine we will all be busy dead, dying, or in the process of resurrecting soon, I thought I had better commit before October.

I'm opening a bakery and sweets shop.

[Lysithea pans the camera to a table that is covered with pans filled with dozens of buns, cakes, and confections of different colors. It really looks extremely well done. One would imagine that Lysithea applies herself with the same intensity to any task she undertakes.]

Everything will be sourced from traditional Fódlan desserts, passed down through family histories and collected by hand in this book. I've realized that if I'm not the one who makes these treats, I'm... never going to taste them again. So I thought I should share.

[The view changes to an enormous tome currently open to a page titled Saghert and Cream in script prominently displaying a luscious picture of some kind of fruit and cream concoction. It really looks like this was drawn by hand.]

I'm baking from my room for now. If you want anything here, you can drop by or I'll bring it over. If you want delivery, you've got to get at least a dozen, because frankly, I'm not running all over town to give you one sweet bun. I'll open a proper location when it's not Death Month.

...Thanks.

[She signs off after a moment's awkward hesitation, as if she's not sure what to do next.]

[video pt 2, ten minutes later]

It's -- me again. Upon further reflection, I have no idea how to run a business, at all, apart from the portion where you confidently declare it in public.

I would... appreciate advice.

And help. If you are willing to be paid in cake.

Comments

Video | UN: YOURFRIENDSCORPIA

[cuddlery]

[There's now the image of a scorpion woman who seems to be starry-eyed at the whole display.]

Wow. ...Wow, that's gotta be one of the best things I've ever seen...

I'll take it all!! [A beat.] Or, or just a bunch. That's more reasonable!

[notimeforfailure]

A-All...

[Lysithea pauses. The sight of a scorpion woman is frankly no longer surprising to her (though her mind momentarily wanders to the thought of 'beasts.')]

If you would like your own separate, bulk order, I can make arrangements for it one of these weeks. When I've more free time.

Are you certain? You haven't even tried anything.

[cuddlery]

Would you? That would - that would be awesome! I just want to have them, I'll eat them anytime!

[She nods along excitedly.]

Oh, am I supposed to try them first? They just look so great, so they have to taste great too! It just makes sense!

[notimeforfailure]

If you want to drop by, I can give you a smaller sample from early trials. Some are a bit burnt or misshapen, but you'd get the general sense.

And then we can discuss what I can produce for you next week. You could flip through the recipe book, too, if you wish.

[cuddlery]

Ooh! Really?! I can.... I can just come on over and taste some, just like that?? [She sounds like she's being invited to some sacred area!]

And I get to look at a recipe book?! I would love all of those things! How do you I find? Where - where I do go, when and how?!

[notimeforfailure]

[Lysithea is deeply in love with sugar.
Still, the fact that two separate people have been rendered incoherent in response to her announcement is startling.
Could it be...
Could it be that she's not the world's biggest sugar fiend...?]

C-Calm down! Yes, you can do all of those things!

You can use the Lamp Friend at [and here she gives a helpful teleportation location near the School of Mutter]; then my address is [a number in a more residential area].

[cuddlery]

[When you've lived off of ration bars for most of your life... sugar's appeal does not decrease.]

Oh, thank goodness! [She seems relieved that she heard all of that right!] Now this, this is really a sweet deal here!

So I just have to use the Lamp Friend over by [bird noises] and then head over towards [cat noises.]. And that's it? Then I get to have sweets?!

[notimeforfailure]

[was that a pun
lysithea will give her the benefit of the doubt
for now]

Yes.

That's all you need to do.

Feel free to come by whenever you please. My name is Lysithea, by the way.

[cuddlery]

[It's her just desserts.]

Awesome! I will zip on over right away. This is so exciting!

[She takes a moment to sound out her name.]

Ly-si-thee-ah. That, it's a bit of a mouthful but I think I got it packed away. I'm Scorpia!

[notimeforfailure]

[this is like being introduced to a girl named humana]

Of course.

It's nice to meet you, Scorpia.

[She will refrain from commenting on the name.]

I'll see you soon, then. I'll just start packaging some of my current orders...

[cuddlery]

[Oh that humanaty!]

It's great to meet you too! I'm sure we'll be great friends. I will see you soon!

[In fact, she's teleporting through a lamp right away and rushing towards the indicated address!]

[notimeforfailure]

[There is a quiet humming that stops when Scorpia knocks on the door. Lysithea has found quarters on the upper floor of a fairly comfortable, creaky home, with doors that are too big and walls that are painted an odd violet shade.

The door to her suite opens with a wave of heat and a sweet scent of sugar. The entryway is nice and spacious and lined with little boxes ready for pick-up by various customers.]

Welcome, Scorpia. If you don't mind stepping in here and being careful with those...

[For some reason, the scorpion girl seems like the type that might accidentally squish a few boxes with her claws.]

[cuddlery]

[It's a color Scorpia can certainly appreciate! As the door opens, the heat and the smell waft out, instantly making Scorpia feel hungrier and feeding the smile on her face.]

Wow. This, this is just incredible. You really have your own little baking workshop going on here! I, I want to eat this entire place.

[Lysithea's warning is not unwarranted. Scorpia does not manage to break anything at least, yet, though her footsteps are practically thundering, as she steps in like in a trance while she looks over the boxes. Still, she takes a moment to wave a pincer towards her new friend.]

Oh right, it's great to meet you in person too, Lizothy! [Nailed it.]

[notimeforfailure]

[Not knowing what the diet of Scorpion People might be, Lysithea looks faintly alarmed.]

I... have samples! Come in, come in.

[please don't eat the entire place]

And, it's - Lysithea. [she's heard some bad attempts, but that was pretty much an entirely different name altogether.] Scorpia, right? It's nice to meet you, too.

[Lysithea is very short. Scorpia, she is realizing, is very not short. Still, she'll lead her gingerly towards the kitchen.]

[cuddlery]

[Thankfully, it's only a temptation to consume everything edible within the vicinity! In any case, the tall scorpion woman looks around curiously, as if she's in a hall of wonders, as she follows that very small girl towards the kitchen. Her smile only fades at the correction of her new friend's name.]

Oh, sorry! Was that not what I said? Well, um, I'll make sure to get it right from now on! [She hopes.] You did get my name right though! No mistakes there. Good job, new friend of mine!

[notimeforfailure]

Er, thanks.

[Lysithea is not the kind of person who feels comfortable calling people she's known for five minutes a friend. But she has at least developed into the kind of person who doesn't awkwardly correct people if they choose to do so.]

Let's see now... That tray is just baked, and over here are... ingredients for trifle. Here we are.

[She pulls out a container and hands it to Scorpia.]

The rejects. Too ugly to sell, but still delicious. Try some and see what you like.

[cuddlery]

[Scorpia still has trouble grasping this whole 'not becoming friends' instantly thing. She oohs and aahs as she looks around the sights in the kitchen, and she eagerly accepts the container that's offered to her! The explanation makes her frown, however.]

Wow, that's... really sad. Treats should be enjoyed no matter what they look like! Just because they don't fit in naturally with the other treats, or have pincers... It's a real shame.

[Well, time to pop this container open and start consuming them!]

[notimeforfailure]

Oh -- I mean, that just means I get to eat them myself. I need to sample my own wares if I'm going to advertise them, right?

[Or in this case, feed them to a potential customer. Lysithea tries not to look covetous as Scorpia begins to sample the goods.]

What do you think?

[cuddlery]

As long as someone enjoys them and makes sure that they feel valued, that's what matters!

[She says that cheerily, while her face is full of food. She takes a moment to swallow that down.]

I think that was, wow. Just... super, super tasty. I can still feel the sweetness. You really know what you're doing!

[notimeforfailure]

Oh! That's very kind - thank you.

My lifelong appreciation of sweets has finally resulted in some practical application. One doesn't become a connoisseur without learning a few tricks of the trade.

[Lysithea seems very pleased and reaches for the container and whatever remains inside (possibly nothing?)]

Those were the sweet buns. Do you want to try a piece of cake?

And then maybe we can think about a customized order -- if you want more than what I have to sell here.

[once again
scorpia is
very not short]

[cuddlery]

Wow. With that much experience, no wonder you're a master at this stuff!

[It's particularly amazing to Scorpia because she's only really discovered sweets within the last few years of her life...

Scorpia licks some of the lingering crumbs off of her pincer while she awaits what's next.]

That explains how sweet they were! And also buns. Um, I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of saying no when offered some cake.

[So many options! It's almost overwhelming.]

Ooh, customized... I honestly don't know how much I want, but it's definitely a lot!

[Talk about a tall order]

[notimeforfailure]

Hmmmmmmmm...

[Lysithea picks through a few more containers before she slides one towards Scorpia.]

I... actually didn't present this. I'm not sure if it's a failure or not, but I tried one and I couldn't decide if people would actually like it. Why don't you give it a shot?

It's a mint and lemon cake.

[cuddlery]

I would like to say that any cake is a resounding success! [Her eyes continue to gleam as she looks at the one that's been offered to her.]

Mint and lemon. Don't think I'm familiar with that combination, but I'm about to be!

[With that, she wastes no time cutting a piece with her pincers and shoving it into her mouth. She chews it over thoughtfully and muses with her mouth full.]

Hmmmm...! I don't know what I expected. A bit, bit of a different taste. But I wouldn't call it bad! It's got a... certain kind of zest?

[notimeforfailure]

Judging from your reaction, it's not ready for public presentation yet. I'll put that recipe on the backburner.

[Lysithea packages up the rest of the unusual cake, then leans back against a counter.]

Well, what do you think?

If you're satisfied, I can write up an order for you. Oh - and let me know what you'd like to offer in exchange.

[cuddlery]

I hope that's a lonely place to be!

[She feels guilty about her reaction while she watches the cake get carted away! Sure it may have tasted a bit strange, but she still wanted to give it a chance.]

I think you've got a great operation here, and I... I want some! [A beat.] Oh right, an exchange. Let's see, let's see what I've got! Do you accept payment in the form of hugs?