Video; UN: Spider-Man

[quipsandthwips]

Hey, everyone! Spider-Man here — AKA your favorite Peter! Sorry to all the other Peters, but them's just the breaks. I've worked too hard the last three years around here to not get top-billed spot as Peter! ... Alright, alright, maybe I'll share with Peter Graham. But only because he's as old and tired as me. We're like a thousand years old in spirit, right? Right. The Peter Pack old boys.

Anyway, I used to give people informational packets, back when we lived in, uh... Deerington. You know, in Maine? You remember that old chestnut? Yeah, me too. Lucky me, my house and lab came with me! A little less furbished, but I do what I can. I'll be starting up my new job as a teacher here at the school soon, because old habits die hard, but I suppose I don't mind doing some teaching outside of the school, too, sooooo...

If you wanna know anything about the world that existed before Trench, I can answer questions as best I can. You guys all deserve that. And, uh. If it helps — I've attached a copy of the PPPP(S). Yup, that's right! The original! The O.G., as the hip kids call it.

[FILE ATTACHED.]

Super sorry if anything's confusing; I can fill out any of the weird blanks or things that don't quite make sense. And for everyone who doesn't need this info because they swam their little squid tuckuses behind me.... Hey! How's it going! Tell me a good joke, if you've got one. Let me know how you're settling while you're at it. I've been pretty good, personally. Lots of fighting, y'know. Creepy monsters away from the outskirts of town.

So basically nothing's changed.

Well, nothing other than the month, I guess! Wow, wait, is it already a new month? Can't believe...

[He trails off, and seems to realize, belatedly, loudly, and with great concern:]



OH NO, NOT OCTOBER!

Comments

[siriusly]

[DID YOU, PETER??]

Im just saying we dont have a guarantee on those so be careful ok??

[CW; Cult described]

[subject_013]

I'll stay with carving jack o' lanterns, especially going the Druidic route and hollowing out turnips.

Mostly through negligence as an unintended side effect, though some did it intentionally, terrorizing or controlling the local populace. There was even a cult who deliberately infected themselves, embracing it as a form of enlightenment. Yes, you read that right.

[quipsandthwips]

Yeah? Have you been checking up with this 'doctor' since you showed up here?

[He opts to not crouch down and study Mike's leg. Yet.]

Got pain medication for it, too? If it healed weird, it could probably get another look-over, kiddo.

[Is this him, not bringing up the fact that the last time they saw each other, Peter had handed him over to Miles before crumbling away into a purple fog? Yeah, it is.]

[quipsandthwips]

Thank god for that canal, I guess.

Hopefully you didn't have to then rescue him from the canal?

[that happens sometimes, okay, people get fished out of them by rescue teams]

[quipsandthwips]

[He huffs, amused.]

You know I spent a huge amount of time freefalling through thirty stories on a daily basis back home, right?

Do I look squishable?

[quipsandthwips]

So if I was in the middle of hallucinating during an event that I didn't sign up for and I punched you hard enough to dislocate your shoulder with my super-strength in a panic, you would blame me for it. Right. Got it.

Excuse my language, but that's some bullshit.

And you should know I'd see that, because we're both 100% the same kind of hypocrite.

[droptheious]

I'm really glad for the canal! And I kind of had to scoop him out afterwards? He doesn't do so great with big bodies of water. But it was still better than burning to death.

[Staying alive >> crippling phobias, clearly. ]

Anyway, that's why having some sort of dampener on these powers would be really ideal.

Video;

[quipsandthwips]

It'd only be a good stay for a few hours, sadly!

But it's a pretty nice place for a picnic, if I had to tell 'em anything!

[He's absolutely supportive of their vacationing destination choices here.]

[quipsandthwips]

Honestly???

The cult thing is the most realistic part in all of this.

I think they've done crazier than turn themselves into zombies.

[shiro2hero]

It's -

[It's different.]

[He doesn't say that - because Peter's right. They are exactly the same.]

You didn't do that. You've never done that.

Re: Vide

[onekindsoul]

Okay. I see what you're doing here.

But can you imagine Peter with an ego for like five seconds?

Wouldn't that just be incredible?

[She does tap her chin in thought.]

Okay- I can't argue with that. I'm pretty sure both of those are fool proof ways to beat Peter in a pinch. Have you seen how soft he gets like the second Luna gets mentioned? It's adorable.

[entreats]

.. you know, I think you know her better than I thought after all. Better than I was giving you credit for. [ Hey, Ange can admit that much! She's a big girl! And those suggestions are good enough that she thinks Peter deserves a little credit.

It's only fair. ]

I know she would love absolutely any of those suggestions as a gift. I'm pretty sure she's into the cool leather look.

[armd]

(shudder. don't remind her.)

No. You look soooo big, and soooooo strong. (swoon)

[quipsandthwips]

[He sits there, quiet for a moment.]

... You really think I've never hurt people, all that time in Deerington?

[quipsandthwips]

... Now that you've told me that horrible no good very bad day, I'll get right on it.

[lorT give him stuhRANGTH]

[droptheious]

Sorry for the inadvertent trauma! But thanks.

[Sorry, Peter, sometimes life is just helping a teenager deal with the fact he accidentally sets his boyfriend on fire. ]

[shiro2hero]

That isn't -

[That's not what I meant]

[Except he doesn't finish. Doesn't have it in him. So he just falls quiet, himself.]

- I just need to apologize. Please.

Video

[quipsandthwips]

It's soooo cute, right?! Aw, young love! You love to see it!

I'd say equally as cute as Ange and Ruby! But what would their couple name be?

Ruge? Anby?

[Oh lord, Spider-Man is a shipper.]

[quipsandthwips]

She's got a great aesthetic! I'd be a loser if I didn't notice her very specific theme!

You can count on me, I'll add to her huge present mountain.

[quipsandthwips]

Oh!

Thank you so much for noticing!

[;)]

[quipsandthwips]

Hey, Inadvertent Trauma was my maiden name!

But it's all good. Just take care of yourselves, try not to get into deadly situations!

[........ fat chance of that]

[armd]

(pbpbpbpffptpbt)

Yeah yeah.

(she glances away, but she looks a little pleased with herself all the same.) Well, I'd better let you get back to all the hard work you're doing. Call if October is too tricky for you to handle alone, okay.

(she's teasing, but also she means it. she cares about him, and wants to help if she can.)

[subject_013]

People will grasp at anything to make themselves feel stronger or less vulnerable, or both, don't they? Even things that tear their own worlds down or their selves apart.

[quipsandthwips]

... Alright. Okay.

But once you've completed your apology, that makes this forgiven.

The slate's clean, and there's no reason to ever apologize for this again. Got it?

[quipsandthwips]

[He salutes, because of course he does.]

Aye, aye, madam captain! Don't hesitate to call if you need an Uber deliveryman!

[peter she probably has no clue what an uber deliveryman is]