Video; UN: Spider-Man

[quipsandthwips]

Hey, everyone! Spider-Man here — AKA your favorite Peter! Sorry to all the other Peters, but them's just the breaks. I've worked too hard the last three years around here to not get top-billed spot as Peter! ... Alright, alright, maybe I'll share with Peter Graham. But only because he's as old and tired as me. We're like a thousand years old in spirit, right? Right. The Peter Pack old boys.

Anyway, I used to give people informational packets, back when we lived in, uh... Deerington. You know, in Maine? You remember that old chestnut? Yeah, me too. Lucky me, my house and lab came with me! A little less furbished, but I do what I can. I'll be starting up my new job as a teacher here at the school soon, because old habits die hard, but I suppose I don't mind doing some teaching outside of the school, too, sooooo...

If you wanna know anything about the world that existed before Trench, I can answer questions as best I can. You guys all deserve that. And, uh. If it helps — I've attached a copy of the PPPP(S). Yup, that's right! The original! The O.G., as the hip kids call it.

[FILE ATTACHED.]

Super sorry if anything's confusing; I can fill out any of the weird blanks or things that don't quite make sense. And for everyone who doesn't need this info because they swam their little squid tuckuses behind me.... Hey! How's it going! Tell me a good joke, if you've got one. Let me know how you're settling while you're at it. I've been pretty good, personally. Lots of fighting, y'know. Creepy monsters away from the outskirts of town.

So basically nothing's changed.

Well, nothing other than the month, I guess! Wow, wait, is it already a new month? Can't believe...

[He trails off, and seems to realize, belatedly, loudly, and with great concern:]



OH NO, NOT OCTOBER!

Comments

text;

[quipsandthwips]

That is EXCELLENT news, Trashmouth, thank you.



sorry did you say spit

text;

[measuringdicks]

yep I said spit
we tested it and everything so there’s little vials of spit now
apparently it’s a superpower
which you know what is not even the weirdest fuckin superpower I’ve ever heard

also
half the town can set shit on fire now

text;

[quipsandthwips]

You just let him SPIT on a cut????
You've turned him into a truly gross gremlin!

I guess I've had my own weird effects going on, too.

I'm not sure if I'm happy or deeply concerned that the Sleepers have extra abilities.
That sure is a whole lot of potential for arson! 🙄

[measuringdicks]

right!!
I'm proud of him
he finally did it

concerned probs
the world I was in before I came to Deerington gave people superpowers when they showed up and thanks to all these people coming in who suddenly got actual fuckin superpowers shit could REALLY hit the fan
I'm just surprised nobody's accidentally set their house on fire yet but tbh
I'm not counting on that record lasting much longer than maybe a month
and that's me being generous

[quipsandthwips]

Did he complain about it endlessly while he accepted his fate?
If he didn't, +10 pride on top of the proudness.

Also now that you've said that, someone's gonna accidentally set their house on fire.
Greeeeeeat!

What's your current situation re: powers?

[measuringdicks]

oh no he was the one who suggested it
actually he was like "ok Richie I have anesthetic spit now we need to test it"
you would be very proud of him thinking like a scientist

someone was always gonna set their house on fire even if I didn't point it out that's just statistics
sooner or later it's gonna happen

getting training for it so I'm not burning everything around me
you get anything new???
usually people get new stuff along with old superpowers in my experience, it was true in superhero world and apparently it looks like it's true here

[quipsandthwips]

I can't deny, I've had scientific trial runs on the fly a little too much like what you just described. So yes, I am very proud.
Nothing new, no.
But at this point I feel pretty overpowered.

They did decide to torment me by making my webs uh



natural.