Video; UN: Spider-Man

[quipsandthwips]

Hey, everyone! Spider-Man here — AKA your favorite Peter! Sorry to all the other Peters, but them's just the breaks. I've worked too hard the last three years around here to not get top-billed spot as Peter! ... Alright, alright, maybe I'll share with Peter Graham. But only because he's as old and tired as me. We're like a thousand years old in spirit, right? Right. The Peter Pack old boys.

Anyway, I used to give people informational packets, back when we lived in, uh... Deerington. You know, in Maine? You remember that old chestnut? Yeah, me too. Lucky me, my house and lab came with me! A little less furbished, but I do what I can. I'll be starting up my new job as a teacher here at the school soon, because old habits die hard, but I suppose I don't mind doing some teaching outside of the school, too, sooooo...

If you wanna know anything about the world that existed before Trench, I can answer questions as best I can. You guys all deserve that. And, uh. If it helps — I've attached a copy of the PPPP(S). Yup, that's right! The original! The O.G., as the hip kids call it.

[FILE ATTACHED.]

Super sorry if anything's confusing; I can fill out any of the weird blanks or things that don't quite make sense. And for everyone who doesn't need this info because they swam their little squid tuckuses behind me.... Hey! How's it going! Tell me a good joke, if you've got one. Let me know how you're settling while you're at it. I've been pretty good, personally. Lots of fighting, y'know. Creepy monsters away from the outskirts of town.

So basically nothing's changed.

Well, nothing other than the month, I guess! Wow, wait, is it already a new month? Can't believe...

[He trails off, and seems to realize, belatedly, loudly, and with great concern:]



OH NO, NOT OCTOBER!

Comments

voice; un: shiro

[shiro2hero]

[Well, he was going to ask how Peter's shoulder was doing... and a bunch of other things after that whole Arena Incident.]

[But - ]

October ... ?

voice;

[quipsandthwips]

[Shiro, bud, don't even sweat it. You know it's water under the bridge.

(It has been water under the bridge since the moment it even happened, of course.)]

Shiro, it's October.

voice; un: abs

[armd]

You got an audiobook version of the PPPP(S)? I don't have that kind of time.

voice;

[quipsandthwips]

Does that mean you want my oh-so-soothing voice reading it for you?

[He pulls his mask up, just so he can waggle his big dumb eyebrows.]

Video; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

How many do you think will die this month?

[Yep, Maul is just all sorts of cheerful right now. The background he's would indicate he's in a spaceship of some kind. Now where did he get one of those?]

Video;

[quipsandthwips]

... Has anyone ever told you that you're a bright ray of sunshine, Maullywally?

Because gosh, you just make my heart so full and warm.

voice; un: tealeaf

[viciousmaukery]

It can't possibly be that bad.

voice;

[quipsandthwips]

... Nnnno. No! You're right, it's fine. I'm just messing with ya.

[HA... HAHA... HAa....a.......

An aside, quietly:]

This is gonna suck.

text; un: trashmouth

[measuringdicks]

hey good news we have the clinic up and running, we doubled up on supplies and Eddie's spit apparently works like drugs now so if shit hits the fan we have fucking everything here and then some
bad news
uh
October

text;

[quipsandthwips]

That is EXCELLENT news, Trashmouth, thank you.



sorry did you say spit

video | un: P.G.

[possessum]

Mr. Parker, it's good to hear from you. I wonder if we're the last Peters left...

( Are the Peters an endangered species, now....? Oh, but it's such a relief to hear that he'll be teaching at the school. Peter's a Trusted Adult and a Superhero, which is a definite bonus. )

I'm really glad to hear you'll be teaching again. I'm taking classes there now, and it's definitely uh... it's different. There aren't even like... any vending machines.

( His grievance.... )

video

[quipsandthwips]

Please, you can call me Peter outside of school! I'm not that old, y'know!

[Not that he's gonna stop him from doing it. But hey, he tried.]

The vending machine thing sticks, huh? I still have a soda machine in my basement, but it's pretty much on empty, and I'm not so sure I'll ever get anymore modern soda cans. Considering, y'know.

[He gestures to the world around him.

It's a good grievance, Pete, don't let them tell you any different.]

video; UN: TripleJ

[kyley_b]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. Like the info dump is appreciated, I will read all of your notes, but hold on...

Did you say Spider-Man?!

video;

[quipsandthwips]

[He leans in a little closer, blinking his big buggy Spider-Man eyes.]

Who, me? No, you must've heard some other spider-themed guy talking.

[He's gotta get his dorky teasing where he can, Triple J, sorry!]

[Text][UN:A_Wesker013]

[subject_013]

I have one microbiology joke.

I'm afraid it will go viral.

But alas, yes, it's October once more. At least my house followed me here, though it's sturdier than it was in Deerington, which will provide better cover. I suspect someone shored it up, or it somehow regenerated as a better version of itself. I also no longer have a ruined gazebo; just where will the zombies hang out now, unless they find a way to scale the wall into the courtyard garden? The furniture, sparse as it was, came along, but my clothing didn't, which necessitated some shopping. No one can accuse me of being stuck in the 1990s any longer, though they might be mocking me for being stuck in the 1890s.

[Text]

[quipsandthwips]

Ohooooo, 10 points to you, pal! That's a classic.

My house followed me, too! Or maybe I followed my house? It's a chicken and egg situation. Either way, I just wandered around until I hit the ol' townhouse.


Zombies?????

Video: UN - Runeseeker

[onerthes]

Definitely October. [Frooooown] But my vision's cleared a little. And the streets aren't slathered in the blood of a thousand goats right now, so that's an improvement. It's got me worried, but it's an improvement.

...

Are you thinking of creating a new pamphlet after a few months? I'd be willing to help.

Video

[quipsandthwips]

"It's quiet. Too quiet."

You know, the usual bad thing to say before the blood of a thousand goats come flooding in.

I sure hope things are calmer here, but... uh. There was a bloody river recently, so.

Doubtful.


A new pamphlet? You think that'd be a bestseller?

un: trienemybest; video

[droptheious]

My lab made it here, too, thankfully. Glad to see you've still got the pamphlets going too, I think they'd really help fill people in on the world before this one.

[At least they always have Peter and his stupidly named pamphlets! ]

Yeah, October's coming. You know it'll be a full year since I lost my leg? Don't know how to celebrate it though, I'm stumped.

[You wanted a joke, Peter. Has he made an amputee joke just to see if you laugh at it or get awkward about it? You better believe he has.]

video 1/3

[quipsandthwips]

Lab pals!

Air high-five!

[You'd better do a high-five gesture, too, or he's gonna cry.]

Well, I guess we could always do some updates to it for a-

un: yuuki

[siriusly]

Things here aren't THAT similar to Deerington for you are they??

[quipsandthwips]

UuuuhhhH.
Do you want a super honest answer, or a comforting one?

text || un: wheeler

[micycle]

[The bubble comes and goes for about five minutes before disappearing, apparently for good.

What do you say to the guy you got killed almost a year ago and haven't talked to since? Is there a Hallmark card for this?]

text

[quipsandthwips]

[He'll just... watch that bubble for a while. Patiently.

After a few beats of time, Peter figures he'll go first.]

Mike?
You there?

[... Maybe he should just rudely appear at Mike's house, if the kid's too nervous to talk.

What better way to get this over with for you, little lanky dude?]

voice; UN: stanford

[cryptograms]

Thank you for sharing, Peter! I don't believe we ever met in Deerington, but I found your information packet extremely helpful when I first arrived in the dream.

I've actually been meaning to ask if you're intending to continue your work here in Trench. There's already a library in Gaze, but I think there's merit in keeping a Sleeper-maintained archive as well.

voice;

[quipsandthwips]

We didn't meet officially, no, but I know who you are! Spider-Man's kind of gotta know the people he's watching out for, you know.

[Learning names and faces despite never talking, that's his bread and butter. In NYC, and here.]

Honestly, I've been thinking about it. Archiving a few things. I'll be working as a teacher at the school they've got going on — the... School of Mutter? Ugh, what a terrible, unwelcoming name for students...

[he's still grumbling about that okay]

video; un: ushiromiya

[entreats]

[ A lot of things change.

But Peter apparently doesn't, and Ange is so much more amused than she would like to let on to in this moment. Sure, she too feels the October dread, but it's so hard to focus on that part when Peter is saying it like he's carrying out some sort of one man comedy act.. ]

What are you going to teach? [ She asks, futilely trying to ask about the one thing she thinks might keep her from bursting out into laughter right here, but Ange still can't fully suppress a smile. ]

video;

[quipsandthwips]

[He puts his gloved hands on his hips.]

I can't believe you'd ignore my traumatic October episode to ask me such a thing!!

[... He settles almost immediately, folding his arms.]

Chemistry, of course.

Kids still need to learn how to dangerously mix chemicals here, too, after all!

Video | UN: ClickClickBloom

[onekindsoul]

I don't know- Peter Graham is a really good Peter.

Maybe we should actually put it to a vote to see who the best Peter is? Or have all the Peter's go at in an arena and whoever's left standing is the One True Peter.

And don't think you'd just win in that case. Can you imagine fighting Peter Graham. Physically you could do it, but imagine the emotional toll.

Video

[quipsandthwips]

He is, but we can't let that go to his head.

[It's important to keep the lad humble.]

I wouldn't have to fight him, anyway! I'd bribe him with food. And if that failed, I'd just tell him his girlfriend needs him for something! Bam, instant pacifistic Spidey victory, just like usual!

Video; UN: Filledwithsunshine

[onebadapple]

Why hello there, Peter! It's so nice to meet you! My name is Snow White.

Let's see a joke... hmm... Oh! I have one! This one a seagull told me! [Yes, you heard her correctly.]

Why is a fish easy to weigh?

Because it has its own scales!

Video;

[quipsandthwips]

Man oh man. You're a natural! I don't think I could have delivered that pun more successfully if I tried my hardest. I'll admit defeat on this one; you're the pun princess.

But it's great to meet you, too, Snow!

Or — do you prefer Snow White? Is that your first name? Or do you prefer Miss White?