Video; UN: Spider-Man

[quipsandthwips]

Hey, everyone! Spider-Man here — AKA your favorite Peter! Sorry to all the other Peters, but them's just the breaks. I've worked too hard the last three years around here to not get top-billed spot as Peter! ... Alright, alright, maybe I'll share with Peter Graham. But only because he's as old and tired as me. We're like a thousand years old in spirit, right? Right. The Peter Pack old boys.

Anyway, I used to give people informational packets, back when we lived in, uh... Deerington. You know, in Maine? You remember that old chestnut? Yeah, me too. Lucky me, my house and lab came with me! A little less furbished, but I do what I can. I'll be starting up my new job as a teacher here at the school soon, because old habits die hard, but I suppose I don't mind doing some teaching outside of the school, too, sooooo...

If you wanna know anything about the world that existed before Trench, I can answer questions as best I can. You guys all deserve that. And, uh. If it helps — I've attached a copy of the PPPP(S). Yup, that's right! The original! The O.G., as the hip kids call it.

[FILE ATTACHED.]

Super sorry if anything's confusing; I can fill out any of the weird blanks or things that don't quite make sense. And for everyone who doesn't need this info because they swam their little squid tuckuses behind me.... Hey! How's it going! Tell me a good joke, if you've got one. Let me know how you're settling while you're at it. I've been pretty good, personally. Lots of fighting, y'know. Creepy monsters away from the outskirts of town.

So basically nothing's changed.

Well, nothing other than the month, I guess! Wow, wait, is it already a new month? Can't believe...

[He trails off, and seems to realize, belatedly, loudly, and with great concern:]



OH NO, NOT OCTOBER!

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[quipsandthwips]

Please, you can call me Peter outside of school! I'm not that old, y'know!

[Not that he's gonna stop him from doing it. But hey, he tried.]

The vending machine thing sticks, huh? I still have a soda machine in my basement, but it's pretty much on empty, and I'm not so sure I'll ever get anymore modern soda cans. Considering, y'know.

[He gestures to the world around him.

It's a good grievance, Pete, don't let them tell you any different.]

[possessum]

Wait... how old are you?

( He's never really known, just assuming his teacher was ambiguously maybe in his 20's, maybe 30's. But there's a grin, a little more relaxed; it's hard to be too anxious when talking to someone as chill as Mr. Park— Peter. )

Yeah, it's uh... they use quills there. Like at the school? They use quills and ink.

( Said with the slightly scandalized air of someone telling on a bully to their big brother. But they write with fucking feathers and ink bottles! It's weird and hard! .......Not that Peter does much note-taking anyway. )

[quipsandthwips]

I just turned 26! That's young and hip and fresh, thank-you-very-much.

[He's gonna continue ignoring how all the tweens and teens keep talking like he's ancient, okay? Okay.]

You'll have to just channel your inner hipster, bud! Quills are cool in a totally retro way!

[possessum]

( Twenty-six: that's like college age, older-but-in-a-cool-way. Peter's nodding like this makes perfect sense to him, because it does. No wonder Mr. P is so chill. The kind of adult that's not so intimidating yet: the kind that still remembers what it's like to be eighteen, probably. )

Oh yeah, you're definitely not that old yet. ( A little grin, a rare moment of playfulness from Peter. )

I feel like it's maybe a little too retro.... ( Of course he's complaining. Gloomy pants. ) I feel like a dang founding father. Might as well put on a big white wig.

[quipsandthwips]

[He absolutely remembers what it was like at eighteen.

Well, uh. He was also Spider-Man, so life was extra stressful, but it's cool.]

Considering the lack of electricity around here, I'd say we've got bigger fish to fry.

... You could always show up to school in a powdered wig, though.

cw: drug mention

[possessum]

Yeah, the weird moon lamp things are like.... good for ambiance, but it's weird not having electricity.

( He's... having a Time adjusting. And he can't even properly enjoy the lunar ambiance, because he can't find any weed around here.... Peter's giving a dumb little grin at that, though. )

I guess I'd fit in better if I try to dress like I'm from old times. Gotta find some of those shoes with... belt buckles on them. Converse don't exactly seem to be in fashion around here.

[quipsandthwips]

It's horrible, isn't it? I got lucky still getting my own pair of sneaks before showing up here.

... But I think I'd rock some belt-buckle shoes.

Maybe we should save that for November. Thanksgiving, and all.

I'll wear the look with my spidey suit!