deernet | Video; UN: Spider-Man

Hey, everyone! Spider-Man here — AKA your favorite Peter! Sorry to all the other Peters, but them's just the breaks. I've worked too hard the last three years around here to not get top-billed spot as Peter! ... Alright, alright, maybe I'll share with Peter Graham. But only because he's as old and tired as me. We're like a thousand years old in spirit, right? Right. The Peter Pack old boys.

Anyway, I used to give people informational packets, back when we lived in, uh... Deerington. You know, in Maine? You remember that old chestnut? Yeah, me too. Lucky me, my house and lab came with me! A little less furbished, but I do what I can. I'll be starting up my new job as a teacher here at the school soon, because old habits die hard, but I suppose I don't mind doing some teaching outside of the school, too, sooooo...

If you wanna know anything about the world that existed before Trench, I can answer questions as best I can. You guys all deserve that. And, uh. If it helps — I've attached a copy of the PPPP(S). Yup, that's right! The original! The O.G., as the hip kids call it.

[FILE ATTACHED.]

Super sorry if anything's confusing; I can fill out any of the weird blanks or things that don't quite make sense. And for everyone who doesn't need this info because they swam their little squid tuckuses behind me.... Hey! How's it going! Tell me a good joke, if you've got one. Let me know how you're settling while you're at it. I've been pretty good, personally. Lots of fighting, y'know. Creepy monsters away from the outskirts of town.

So basically nothing's changed.

Well, nothing other than the month, I guess! Wow, wait, is it already a new month? Can't believe...

[He trails off, and seems to realize, belatedly, loudly, and with great concern:]

OH NO, NOT OCTOBER!

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[Well, he was going to ask how Peter's shoulder was doing... and a bunch of other things after that whole Arena Incident.]

[But - ]

October ... ?

You got an audiobook version of the PPPP(S)? I don't have that kind of time.

How many do you think will die this month?

[Yep, Maul is just all sorts of cheerful right now. The background he's would indicate he's in a spaceship of some kind. Now where did he get one of those?]

It can't possibly be that bad.

hey good news we have the clinic up and running, we doubled up on supplies and Eddie's spit apparently works like drugs now so if shit hits the fan we have fucking everything here and then some
bad news
uh
October

Mr. Parker, it's good to hear from you. I wonder if we're the last Peters left...

( Are the Peters an endangered species, now....? Oh, but it's such a relief to hear that he'll be teaching at the school. Peter's a Trusted Adult and a Superhero, which is a definite bonus. )

I'm really glad to hear you'll be teaching again. I'm taking classes there now, and it's definitely uh... it's different. There aren't even like... any vending machines.

( His grievance.... )

Edited 2021-10-01 11:37 (UTC)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. Like the info dump is appreciated, I will read all of your notes, but hold on...

Did you say Spider-Man?!

I have one microbiology joke.

I'm afraid it will go viral.

But alas, yes, it's October once more. At least my house followed me here, though it's sturdier than it was in Deerington, which will provide better cover. I suspect someone shored it up, or it somehow regenerated as a better version of itself. I also no longer have a ruined gazebo; just where will the zombies hang out now, unless they find a way to scale the wall into the courtyard garden? The furniture, sparse as it was, came along, but my clothing didn't, which necessitated some shopping. No one can accuse me of being stuck in the 1990s any longer, though they might be mocking me for being stuck in the 1890s.

Definitely October. [Frooooown] But my vision's cleared a little. And the streets aren't slathered in the blood of a thousand goats right now, so that's an improvement. It's got me worried, but it's an improvement.

...

Are you thinking of creating a new pamphlet after a few months? I'd be willing to help.

My lab made it here, too, thankfully. Glad to see you've still got the pamphlets going too, I think they'd really help fill people in on the world before this one.

[At least they always have Peter and his stupidly named pamphlets! ]

Yeah, October's coming. You know it'll be a full year since I lost my leg? Don't know how to celebrate it though, I'm stumped.

[You wanted a joke, Peter. Has he made an amputee joke just to see if you laugh at it or get awkward about it? You better believe he has.]

Things here aren't THAT similar to Deerington for you are they??

[The bubble comes and goes for about five minutes before disappearing, apparently for good.

What do you say to the guy you got killed almost a year ago and haven't talked to since? Is there a Hallmark card for this?]

Thank you for sharing, Peter! I don't believe we ever met in Deerington, but I found your information packet extremely helpful when I first arrived in the dream.

I've actually been meaning to ask if you're intending to continue your work here in Trench. There's already a library in Gaze, but I think there's merit in keeping a Sleeper-maintained archive as well.

[Shiro, bud, don't even sweat it. You know it's water under the bridge.

(It has been water under the bridge since the moment it even happened, of course.)]

Shiro, it's October.

Does that mean you want my oh-so-soothing voice reading it for you?

[He pulls his mask up, just so he can waggle his big dumb eyebrows.]

... Has anyone ever told you that you're a bright ray of sunshine, Maullywally?

Because gosh, you just make my heart so full and warm.

... Nnnno. No! You're right, it's fine. I'm just messing with ya.

[HA... HAHA... HAa....a.......

An aside, quietly:]

This is gonna suck.

That is EXCELLENT news, Trashmouth, thank you.

sorry did you say spit

Please, you can call me Peter outside of school! I'm not that old, y'know!

[Not that he's gonna stop him from doing it. But hey, he tried.]

The vending machine thing sticks, huh? I still have a soda machine in my basement, but it's pretty much on empty, and I'm not so sure I'll ever get anymore modern soda cans. Considering, y'know.

[He gestures to the world around him.

It's a good grievance, Pete, don't let them tell you any different.]

[He leans in a little closer, blinking his big buggy Spider-Man eyes.]

Who, me? No, you must've heard some other spider-themed guy talking.

[He's gotta get his dorky teasing where he can, Triple J, sorry!]

Ohooooo, 10 points to you, pal! That's a classic.

My house followed me, too! Or maybe I followed my house? It's a chicken and egg situation. Either way, I just wandered around until I hit the ol' townhouse.

Zombies?????

"It's quiet. Too quiet."

You know, the usual bad thing to say before the blood of a thousand goats come flooding in.

I sure hope things are calmer here, but... uh. There was a bloody river recently, so.

Doubtful.

A new pamphlet? You think that'd be a bestseller?

(peter you chose voice she cant see your eyebrows)

Yeah, I figure it'll put me to sleep no problem.

Lab pals!

Air high-five!

[You'd better do a high-five gesture, too, or he's gonna cry.]

Well, I guess we could always do some updates to it for a-

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