Video; UN: Spider-Man

[quipsandthwips]

Hey, everyone! Spider-Man here — AKA your favorite Peter! Sorry to all the other Peters, but them's just the breaks. I've worked too hard the last three years around here to not get top-billed spot as Peter! ... Alright, alright, maybe I'll share with Peter Graham. But only because he's as old and tired as me. We're like a thousand years old in spirit, right? Right. The Peter Pack old boys.

Anyway, I used to give people informational packets, back when we lived in, uh... Deerington. You know, in Maine? You remember that old chestnut? Yeah, me too. Lucky me, my house and lab came with me! A little less furbished, but I do what I can. I'll be starting up my new job as a teacher here at the school soon, because old habits die hard, but I suppose I don't mind doing some teaching outside of the school, too, sooooo...

If you wanna know anything about the world that existed before Trench, I can answer questions as best I can. You guys all deserve that. And, uh. If it helps — I've attached a copy of the PPPP(S). Yup, that's right! The original! The O.G., as the hip kids call it.

[FILE ATTACHED.]

Super sorry if anything's confusing; I can fill out any of the weird blanks or things that don't quite make sense. And for everyone who doesn't need this info because they swam their little squid tuckuses behind me.... Hey! How's it going! Tell me a good joke, if you've got one. Let me know how you're settling while you're at it. I've been pretty good, personally. Lots of fighting, y'know. Creepy monsters away from the outskirts of town.

So basically nothing's changed.

Well, nothing other than the month, I guess! Wow, wait, is it already a new month? Can't believe...

[He trails off, and seems to realize, belatedly, loudly, and with great concern:]



OH NO, NOT OCTOBER!

Comments

[entreats]

[ P-Please, Peter, not the a-word.. have mercy on a poor easily embarrassed girl's soul.. ]

.. yeah. [ She still admits honestly though, as Ange is fighting a battle to keep a blush off her cheeks which she is very much currently losing. ]

Or I'm planning on it, anyway. Who knows if this October is going to make me able to even plan a party between all the potential death and murder. Those things made her birthday last year absolutely awful.

[quipsandthwips]

[ A D O R A B L E ]

Hey, if there's one thing I've learned about this place? You can do anything you put your mind to, even if the sky's raining blood. Besides, you're a super reliable person; you'll give her exactly the celebration she needs, guaranteed.

[entreats]

If you say it that confidently, it kind of feels like you're going to jinx it.

[ Especially with October looming over them, as Peter so eloquently discovered in the middle of his announcement. ]

Though I will take just no one dying. That seems like an alright baseline hope.

[quipsandthwips]

I've never jinxed anything in my life!

[Said like he knows he's jinxed things all the times in his life.

Anyway!]

Sounds like a plan, though. If there's anything you need, let me know! Otherwise I'll just have to drop in and say hi to the birthday girl and her very thoughtful and nice girlfriend.

[entreats]

[ Ange can't imagine anything but chaos happening if Ruby and Peter ever happen to be too close to each other. Talk about two of the world's most chaotic forces clashing...

.. and yet she's still not going to say 'no'. Of course. Ange is too weak. ]

If you show up, you need to give her a present, you know.

[ Apparently that is the only baseline she's deciding to set here. ]

[quipsandthwips]

[Peter? Chaotic? No way!]

Ange! You think I'd show up to a party without a present?!

What kind of monster to do think I am?

[entreats]

I was just making sure.

[ Though he has a point. Peter can be kind of ridiculous, but he's also way too nice. There's no way he would show up to a party without a present. ]

Do you even know her enough to know what to get her though?

[quipsandthwips]

I think I can figure it out.

Something with roses on it? Something leather? Maybe some cute bracelets or boots?

Maybe a tower of sweets?

[entreats]

.. you know, I think you know her better than I thought after all. Better than I was giving you credit for. [ Hey, Ange can admit that much! She's a big girl! And those suggestions are good enough that she thinks Peter deserves a little credit.

It's only fair. ]

I know she would love absolutely any of those suggestions as a gift. I'm pretty sure she's into the cool leather look.

[quipsandthwips]

She's got a great aesthetic! I'd be a loser if I didn't notice her very specific theme!

You can count on me, I'll add to her huge present mountain.