Video; UN: Spider-Man

[quipsandthwips]

Hey, everyone! Spider-Man here — AKA your favorite Peter! Sorry to all the other Peters, but them's just the breaks. I've worked too hard the last three years around here to not get top-billed spot as Peter! ... Alright, alright, maybe I'll share with Peter Graham. But only because he's as old and tired as me. We're like a thousand years old in spirit, right? Right. The Peter Pack old boys.

Anyway, I used to give people informational packets, back when we lived in, uh... Deerington. You know, in Maine? You remember that old chestnut? Yeah, me too. Lucky me, my house and lab came with me! A little less furbished, but I do what I can. I'll be starting up my new job as a teacher here at the school soon, because old habits die hard, but I suppose I don't mind doing some teaching outside of the school, too, sooooo...

If you wanna know anything about the world that existed before Trench, I can answer questions as best I can. You guys all deserve that. And, uh. If it helps — I've attached a copy of the PPPP(S). Yup, that's right! The original! The O.G., as the hip kids call it.

[FILE ATTACHED.]

Super sorry if anything's confusing; I can fill out any of the weird blanks or things that don't quite make sense. And for everyone who doesn't need this info because they swam their little squid tuckuses behind me.... Hey! How's it going! Tell me a good joke, if you've got one. Let me know how you're settling while you're at it. I've been pretty good, personally. Lots of fighting, y'know. Creepy monsters away from the outskirts of town.

So basically nothing's changed.

Well, nothing other than the month, I guess! Wow, wait, is it already a new month? Can't believe...

[He trails off, and seems to realize, belatedly, loudly, and with great concern:]



OH NO, NOT OCTOBER!

Comments

[droptheious]

Yeah, it's really rough. I um... kinda set Fern on fire by accident.

[quipsandthwips]

... Oh.

[Sorry, he's blue screening on a proper answer at the moment.]

[droptheious]

[Thanks, Pete, you're an inspiration. ]

He's fine! I uh... pushed him into the canal so he's...okay? But still, I'd rather...avoid that again.

[quipsandthwips]

Thank god for that canal, I guess.

Hopefully you didn't have to then rescue him from the canal?

[that happens sometimes, okay, people get fished out of them by rescue teams]

[droptheious]

I'm really glad for the canal! And I kind of had to scoop him out afterwards? He doesn't do so great with big bodies of water. But it was still better than burning to death.

[Staying alive >> crippling phobias, clearly. ]

Anyway, that's why having some sort of dampener on these powers would be really ideal.

[quipsandthwips]

... Now that you've told me that horrible no good very bad day, I'll get right on it.

[lorT give him stuhRANGTH]

[droptheious]

Sorry for the inadvertent trauma! But thanks.

[Sorry, Peter, sometimes life is just helping a teenager deal with the fact he accidentally sets his boyfriend on fire. ]

[quipsandthwips]

Hey, Inadvertent Trauma was my maiden name!

But it's all good. Just take care of yourselves, try not to get into deadly situations!

[........ fat chance of that]

[droptheious]

You know what, I could actually believe that.

...Peter, you've lived in the Deerington...area? Universe? Whatever we're calling this- long enough to know how deeply unlikely that is.

[quipsandthwips]

Yeah, but wouldn't you guys be worried if I said anything otherwise?

[droptheious]

...Yeah, fair, I probably would. You try to stay safe too?

I know you absolutely won't but let's pretend just for now.