deernet | voice; un: shiro

Entry tags:

voice; un: shiro

[Shiro it's like 7am, why are you awake, and why are you running around town.]

Has anyone - has anyone else seen that little girl?

[Oh, that's why.]

She's - dark hair. Not very tall. I - [Please hold, he's turning a corner, still jogging.]

Listen, people who've died can wash up here. We know that. It - it could be her.

[And Shiro is desperate to find out. One way or another. He has to know. What if it is? What if there's a chance. Just in case anyone is confused about what her he's talking about, he ~~goes full silent hill dad~~ calls out to something off-camera.]

Julia!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ There's more to process in what he's said than she has time for ("never got to see her face" and "that's Cynthia Sodder") but she lets it pass over her. She's been focused the last few hours, focused entirely on finding a little girl she saw for only a few moments. ]

I've been looking for her for a while now and scoured Crenshaw and Koz's. I've been asking around, checking if anyone else has noticed her, and... No one has seen her. It's like I'm looking for a ghost. [ it hits too close to home for her to let go. ]

I'm going to keep looking. If she's here, we'll find her.

No, you're right. She's not at Koz's. I... don't know how she'd feel about it, if it's her.

[He really needs to explain this all to her, at some point. Since it's clearly important to Sharon, even without her knowing everything. But not now.]

I know. It looks like not even all of us have seen her. But even if it's not her - we'll know, one way or another.

[ that raises more questions in her but she knows it's not a good time for them. she files them away for later. ]

I only saw her a few times. Right after, I... Fuck, I started to see shit. Like, really fucked up shit. [ she shakes her head as if dispelling the memories. ] Where have you been searching for her? Is there any place you think she'd like? Would Cynthia know anything, maybe?

What are you seeing, Sharon?

[That's all kinds of worrying. And, of course, Shiro's going to add concerns about Sharon to the pile - because of course he is.]

I saw her in the market area, first. That's where I am now. She liked animals. Dolls. The swings... [Maybe she'd be where -- wait.] Sleepy Town. It's what's left of Deerington.

Maybe there.

I think I'm just hallucinating shit. Nothing I haven't dealt with before. I got a handle on it, don't worry. [ Just hallucinating. She's used to dealing with hallucinations, especially when she's stressed, and the last thing she wants to do is add to Shiro's worries. ]

I don't know if I've ever visited Sleepy Town but... that sounds like the place to look. If I were her, I'd be going to familiar places.

I'll check out the playgrounds I know about, and maybe give the amusement park a good look over again, but if she's anywhere here I think she'd be going to the places she knows.

That's still ... that's still a lot to deal with. Even if you're used to it.

[He'd know. Thankfully, he hasn't seen much lately - unless Julia counts. There's a distinct lack of awful purple glow and yellow eyes.]

I wouldn't go to Sleepy Town on your own. I wouldn't go on my own, either. It can be dangerous, and confusing.

[Not always dangerous, unless you took a wrong turn.]

Thank you, Sharon.

I guess? Maybe. [ she concedes a little. her hallucinations tend to be more severe than what she's dealing with right now. monsters taking the place of people, a siren sounding in the distance, rust and shadows and fog. but these hallucinations are a different breed of strange. ]

Do you have someone to go with you, Shiro? [ the question is edged with concern. she's not outright asking if he'd like her to go with him. she's not from the dream, not from deerington, and it's possible that both he and julia (if it's julia) might prefer someone who experienced that world. ]

[Just a second while he locks this feed. Partly because he doesn't like talking about this out in the open...]

It's always been hard for me to deal with - used to it or not. Trench and Deerington just made it worse. So... I guess I'm saying, if you need to talk or vent? You're not alone in that boat.

[But hey, if not, he won't push, either. Just offering. That's all he's got.]

Nah, not yet. I haven't decided to go that way just yet.

Shit. [ she doesn't normally take people's offers like this (not that people offer because she doesn't tell) but this is really bothering her. ] Thank you. I don't... I know it's stupid but I don't want to worry you. You're dealing with a lot right now.

[ she's a girl who grew up recognizing the burden she put on her parents and though they never complained or made her feel bad she was aware enough to recognize it. ]

When you do, I'd be willing to go with you. If you need me to, I mean. If it's really Julia, I don't want to scare her off or something. [ but she wants to meet this little girl whose life story holds a lot of similarities to her own ]

Doesn't have to be now. Offer's open, regardless of how weird things are in town. But... [He laughs a bit, though it's humorless.] I understand not wanting to bother people, too. I do.

[He's the same way.]

I don't think you will. She won't - It's kind of hard to phrase this. If she does hold a grudge against any of us, it won't be someone who wasn't in Deerington.

[He doesn't think Julia does, but, just in case.]

...thank you. [ look she's not used to this and it's weird but she appreciates it a lot. more than she knows how to express. ]

I don't know a lot about her but I've heard some things and... if I were her, I'd definitely hold a bit of a grudge against some people. Hell, I'd hate the world.

No problem.

[He'll leave it there. For now. There's not much else that can be said on the subject. As long as the offer's there.]

She never really seemed to. Even in the end she was just... sad. Accepting. [He'd been a mess during that last meeting, so he's not sure how well he remembers it all.]

[ Sharon's not sure what's better in those circumstances: rage or sorrow. She's always leaned into rage, into that knowledge that the cards she was dealt were impossible and unfair and undeserved. She thought Julia might have felt the same.

Somehow, it's worse that she didn't. ]

That kind of makes me angry for her. No kid should ever... [ have to go through what she did. ]

I know. [He's quiet a while, after he says it. And then repeats it, just as quietly:] I know.

I kept promising her every time I could. "We'll help you, we'll get you out, we're trying".

[There's a bitterness there he can't erase. It had been true, for some of them. For himself and Peter and Diarmuid.]

... that turned out... so great.

[ there's nothing quite like broken promises. she can only imagine the weight of the guilt he must feel. ]

You tried. That's more than a lot of other people can say. [ the fact that someone cared enough to bother, to see her as more than a monster, likely meant more to that little girl than he will ever truly know. ] You did what you could, Shiro, no matter how it turned out.

Hah. Well... one day that might sink in.

Especially if I can find her.

[Maybe that won't actually help. Maybe it's not really her. He doesn't know anymore.]

A lot of people are on the lookout now. If that was her, if she's really here, we'll find her. [ she hopes that little girl is Julia, for both Shiro's and Julia's sake. ]

Yeah.

Yeah, we have to. [Another deep breath - ] Thank you.

It's no problem. [ it's what Julia deserves. and Shiro. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

voice; un: shiro

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

private

private

private

private

private

private

private

private

private

private

private

private