sad space dad had a bad (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shiro2hero) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deernet2022-11-07 03:52 pm
shiro2hero) wrote in deernet2022-11-07 03:52 pm
voice; un: shiro
[Shiro it's like 7am, why are you awake, and why are you running around town.]
Has anyone - has anyone else seen that little girl?
[Oh, that's why.]
She's - dark hair. Not very tall. I - [Please hold, he's turning a corner, still jogging.]
Listen, people who've died can wash up here. We know that. It - it could be her.
[And Shiro is desperate to find out. One way or another. He has to know. What if it is? What if there's a chance. Just in case anyone is confused about what her he's talking about, hegoes full silent hill dad calls out to something off-camera.]
Julia!
Has anyone - has anyone else seen that little girl?
[Oh, that's why.]
She's - dark hair. Not very tall. I - [Please hold, he's turning a corner, still jogging.]
Listen, people who've died can wash up here. We know that. It - it could be her.
[And Shiro is desperate to find out. One way or another. He has to know. What if it is? What if there's a chance. Just in case anyone is confused about what her he's talking about, he
Julia!
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That's not normal. [ .. even if this isn't.. really the kind of conclusion that requires any thought, huh. Anyone could've concluded as much. ]
Then again, even if it was the real her, I guess it wouldn't be too surprising for her to be able to do that.
[ Though Ange does still believe it's most likely an illusion, which makes the disappearing and reappearing thing even easier to explain - but she's trying to keep all options open here, just in case. ]
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[Not her fault, he thinks. She'd been a prisoner, and the magics of the Pthumerians had warped so much.]
You don't think it's her. [It doesn't come out as a question. Not really. But it's not an accusation, either.]
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[ Ange confirms it easily, apparently having no trouble with being straightforward about it. Still, there's an edge about her tone that doesn't make it as emotionless as Ange's voice can usually be - since she gets that this means a lot to Shiro.
And while Ange has just casually pulverized dreams before in the past, she doesn't want to be that kind of person to the people she cares about. Like Shiro. ]
I mean.. It's just a little bit too convenient, right? Her showing up all of a sudden, and after all of us have already been here for so long. Nothing has changed that should suddenly make that possible.
[ That's why she's still listening in on this, and watching along as Shiro is on his little quest. She feels like it's probably fake, and in this place fake is often tied in with danger.
And she has to help keep Shiro out of danger. That's what family does. ]
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[But even as he says it, he hears how absurd it sounds. How his voice sounds like he's grasping at straws. He falls silent on his end.]
[For a long while.]
... I - sound like a crazy person here, don't I? Chasing ghosts? [At least he seems like he's stopped for the moment. Leaning against a wall out of the way.] Trying to find someone who's... who we've never been able to find?
[Not even once. Not until the end. When it was too late. He lowers the omni, so his face is no longer visible. It's easier to keep his voice steady, that way.]
Why the hell would that change now?
[Oops. A swear.]
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Not that Ange minds though. Not even in normal situations - but in this one she minds even less. It's clear that Shiro is pretty emotional about this whole thing. That much has been clear to her this entire time, even before it got so much more apparent in the last few passing moments.
It's not even surprising. Shiro is such a bleeding heart, Ange thinks. Why not about this too? ]
.. I don't want to dash your hopes. [ Ange's tone turns a little bit more gentle. It's not the sort of tone she'd take on for anyone, but she means what she's saying here. She wants to be softer on Shiro, with how fond she is of the guy. ] But from what I've seen so far, it feels like most of the people who saw her here are people who'd want to see her.
[ Oscar. Now Shiro.
Maybe she's speculating a little too much, but to a naturally suspicious person like Ange, that just feels like it's an illusion being conjured up for those who want to see it. ]
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[Why would any of them have a second chance to right the wrong they'd caused?]
You'd think I'd know by now not to have hopes like this.
[To stop thinking he'd be able to save people. Save anyone from his mistakes. Because bearing the weight of Deerington's choice was his responsibility - or was becoming it, now that so few of them were left.]
Sorry, Ange. Guess I... wasted your time here, huh?
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He's not explicitly saying it, but that first statement contains some of it all the same, doesn't it?
.. or maybe she's overthinking it. But she can't stop the worry from washing into her heart with the tide all the same, focusing on what she can give him here. What she can say. ]
Helping family is never a waste of time.
[ It sounds firm, like her putting her foot down. Like her suggesting she will refuse anything that tries to reject that statement. ]
You know that.
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[More like he needed a kick in the backside, he thinks, darkly.]
Yeah. You're right.
[But he still feels wrong about this. Another failure piling up onto a big mess of them. Like he's let the scared Pthumerian girl down again.]
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It feels like there's still so much hanging in the air here. She feels not socially gifted enough to know what the right thing to say here would be - it's one of those little moments where she wishes she was more like Ruby.
Ruby would know what to say.
...
After a few awkward quiet moments pass, Ange asks: ]
Are you still going to look for her?
[ It sounds like he isn't, but.. you never know with Shiro. And Ange would like to at least know what he's up to, or even what his feelings are on the entire matter at this point. ]
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[It's surprisingly honest. He really doesn't know yet. Part of him wants to. Most of him wants to. But if it's futile... if it won't help anything? If there's really no chance to try again...]
[Then what's the point?]
Probably not what you want to hear, huh?
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[ Ange realises it's a dodge, though, more so than a real answer on her part. Sure, she'd love it if he would give up on this, but she doesn't want to tell him that either.
Because what if the tiniest chance that it is really Julia would be true? Ange can't believe it would, but what if?
She couldn't be the one to keep Shiro from that. She'd hate herself. ]
It's just.. [ Her voice trails off, and Ange sounds uncharacteristically lost for words. ] .. I'm here for you, okay?
[ Maybe that's all she can offer. ]
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[That part, he's never doubted. Ange may not agree with every decision he makes - rightfully so. But he's never doubted she'd be there for him, if he needed it. She always has been before.]
[He pauses, before he adds, quietly:]
Thank you.