video: un: ontherocks

[queenking]

[It must be that time of the month, because there's another newbie on the network. This one, a 20-something woman with riotously curly blonde hair, is sprawled on her back on the beach, holding the Omni up above her face. It's not a great angle, but whatever.]

Hey, if one of these places sells calamari, s'that cannibalism? Cause I love that shit. Also I got so much sand in my ass crack right now I'm gonna be shittin' pearls for weeks.

[She could just...leave the beach. Does she know they're allowed to leave the beach?

She...likely doesn't know they can leave the beach.

Saxsice ends her foray into social media by dropping the Omni on her face and cussing as the feed ends. OW FUCK--!!

Comments

video; un:scifo 1 / 2

[thinkfirst]

[ Oh, there is.

There is so much happening here, between the language and what Flynn considers to be the worst possible take about calamari, his least favorite food even before it became morally questionable to consume it. ]

It is certainly cannibalism to eat calamari, in addition to being ill-advised in general.

2 / 2

[thinkfirst]

[ Wait. No. That's not helpful at all, Flynn, what are you thinking? ]

...are you alright? Do you need any assistance?

video; un: clearthestreet

[laruetheday]

[ Oh hey they're twinning with the less-than-great Omni angles, except Clarisse is lying in her bed instead of on the beach. ]

Everyone knows calamari isn't real.

video, UN: Kassandra

[metoikos]

[The feed opens with a very, very surprised looking Kassandra sitting outside on the boardwalk. Kassandra, who currently appears to have some squid tentacles hanging from her mouth, looks absolutely gobsmacked by this revelation.

She swallows, audible, and croaks out a reply.]

...shit.

You...you are right!

video; UN: TripleJ

[kyley_b]

I legit can't believe you made it.

...are you just laying nude on the fucking beach?!

[queenking]

S'matter, you don't like calamari? Even the kind where you pour sauce on it and it wiggles? [Saxsice wiggles her fingers, demonstrating.

Then she looks blank.] Assistance with what?

[queenking]

[It's a very vlogger-AU angle, okay.

Saxsice squints a little, rubbing her nose where the Omni hit her.] Since when? They go extinct?

[queenking]

[Glad to participate in mutual dumbassery perpetuating the calamari conspiracy, Saxsice nods gravely, sitting up from her sand bed.]

Right? It's so messed up.

[queenking]

Thanks! Or, uh, fuck you too, if you meant it as an insult, I guess.

No. [So cranky!!!] I got a robe from a nice cultist.

[laruetheday]

No. Squids exist, obviously. But it's way cheaper for the restaurant to buy pig rectum and fry it and say it's calamari.

[metoikos]

[Well she bought this, so she isn't going to stop eating.]

...That is a shame. Calamari is so very good.

[She's Greek. Squid is like one of the national foods!]

I suppose I will just have to deal with being a cannibal.

Video; UN: Willow

[frogfear]

I'm pretty sure eating squid means a good chance of eating one of us? Maybe... um. Maybe don't do that.

[Willow looks a little surprised that this is even a consideration. Who wants to eat anything fishy after all that time spent in the ocean?]

And you know there's houses, right? And showers? You don't have to go around all sandy.

[kyley_b]

Okay, good. And you got your bag, too, obviously. Don't lose that shit.

You need anything? I can come down.

video | un: stiles

[kingofsarcasm]

Oh yeah, for sure. And sleeper calamari's considered a delicacy, so you better watch your squiddly little ass.

[His voice is dripping with sarcasm and he does not know if that's true but he wouldn't be surprised if it was. Also, he's never eating sea food again, thanks.]

video; un: dovahkiin

[fusrodaaaah]

... Calamari?

[... Yeah he's probably also on the beach. Camping.]

voice, private; un: sapereaude

[killed]

[ Cannibalism...? Well, he supposes that's one way to think about it. But he suspects that answering that question in earnest would not be appreciated.

Instead, Midori focuses on what by all means to be the most important bit: ]

Miss? Are you alright?

[ ... Should he go help her? Does she need an adult? ]

Video UN: blackmoths (I am SO sorry)

[blackmothwings]

Is that level of vulgarity really necessary? There's no need to be so...detailed.

[Lucille just doesn't know how someone can talk so openly about sand and butts. It's weird.]

Text - UN: IceCream

[threelayers]

Hah, I like your sense of humor.
You know what?
We should totally make that a trend.
Calamari is cannibalism.

Make it the most scandalous meal to serve imaginable.

text | un: CARCINOGENETICIST

[klawful]

THERE IS NOTHING SHAMEFUL ABOUT CANNIBALISM. IF THE OTHER SQUID ARE TOO WEAK TO DEFEND THEMSELVES, THEN IT IS ONLY NATURAL WE SHALL CONSUME THEIR BODIES FOR SUBSTANCE.

text

[queenking]

u know what u have a point

survivial of the shittiest, like einstein said.

[Take the text function away from her immediately.]

text;

[queenking]

who's joking i'm totally serious and clutching my pearls to my boobs or whatever

hey any publicity is good publicity, right? ur WELCOME calamari vendors!!

video;

[queenking]

[Saxsice sits up a little, shaking her head a couple times so sand flies loose from her curls.]

Oh, jeez, sorry, didn't know you cared about calamari that much, man. [...that is. Definitely not what Lucille meant.]

[queenking]

[She 100% needs an adult, she's been eating seaweed for like 4 days.]

Yeah, m'fine, why wouldn't I be? [Then, grimacing:] Don't call me "miss", makes me feel old.

video;

[queenking]

[Oh, cool, a lizard.]

Fried squid. Kinda chewy, but pretty good after like, four shitty beers. [A beat, then:] That one'a those...whatsitcalled, cosplays?

[killed]

[ Oh, how cute... Well, he won't argue if she'd prefer to be addressed more casually. ]

Oh, I apologize. Yes, you're right. It wouldn't be befitting of you. Are you still on the beach? I can come meet you.