video: un; apparition (characters 18+ please for the first portion)

[unphase]

[Tinya lounges back wearing a little black dress in her sunroom with her batkitten, her kittens, and her Omen, Moonlight sitting at attention on the armrest of her chair]

So! This may seem like an unusual request, but I'm looking for friends. Friends with benefits, actually. I know that may sound strange, but I miss being close to someone. All are invited to apply, if that makes sense. I want to know whom I'm dealing with before I say yes to anything.

[and a Mona Lisa smile] And is it strange to spend more than five years bouncing between worlds? Who else has been through this? [a teasing smile] You don't necessarily have to be auditioning for the first role to answer, I promise.

Comments

[unphase]

Thank you, I appreciate that. And I initially wasn't, either, I was hoping for an actual relationship. But I figured in the end, maybe something like that would be...fairer to the situation I left behind. With my husband and son.

Oh, I know. It's like 'hello, how are you, things are going to fuck you up at some point and there's nothing you can do about it, have a cup of stew!' They must think we're quite mad.

[onerthes]

I... am still too raw to consider it myself. But my loss is recent. I do appreciate where you're coming from, though. It is certainly honest.

Heh. Yes. I find some of the newest are still stunned by how almost blase someone who has been around here as long as you or I can be. We've seen horror after horror month after month. It's hard not to become a little immunized.

[unphase]

Ah. That's right. [Tinya says gently] Your own wife disappeared not long ago, didn't she?

[and that draws a shorter, more bitter laugh] Indeed. One would think that they'd listen to us who have been through many things, but alas. 'Tis not to be.

[onerthes]

Yes, and it's still fresh. I... don't pretend that I am not the sort of person who might eventually move on, would want to be happy. But I had a bad habit of casual hookups before she and I dated. [She frowned a little.] I think it might go badly if I started doing that again. Know thyself, mmm?

Well, they always eventually come around. It just takes a few near scares before they realize the crazy people aren't so crazy after all.

[unphase]

I understand completely. I...my situation isn't that much different since I do have a husband back home, but. I can't help craving intimacy, regardless. And he's not here, so I have to make do as best as I can.

[a short, bitter chuckle] Isn't that the truth. It makes me feel sorry for them, they have no real idea of what they're in for. Though, this place's weird is better than the other place's weird.

[onerthes]

The yearning for intimacy is something I definitely understand. Hopefully you can have some luck with that. [She nodded.] You're an attractive woman. I'm sure you will find someone who has similar needs.

It is considerably better than it was before. They may have trouble adjusting but we're getting much better at facilitating.

[unphase]

That would be nice. I realize this probably comes across as...desperate, but well. A person has needs.

Which is a good thing. It's not right to let people flounder along with no real guidance.

[onerthes]

I wouldn't say desperate. Just ... direct. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. And besides, you're being quite polite about it. Hopefully you get a ... nibble? [She laughed softly.]

[unphase]

[Tinya chuckled ruefully] I found out the hard way that it's usually best to be direct about these things. It saves time and prevents misunderstandings. [and okay, the nibble gets a genuine laugh] Here's hoping!

[onerthes]

The nature of your offer? Oh yes. It's much better to be direct.

[If you just wanted a physical encounter, or a regular bed-warming that didn't come with strings attached? Anything in that category was usually helped a lot by being very honest about what you wanted.

Once upon a time, Vira-Lorr might have considered it. Tinya was attractive, after all. But, she knew deep down that she wanted something different, and that she couldn't handle something like that while coping with the loss.]

At the very least, it's generally nice how little judgment we have going around this town. I do like that.

[unphase]

[in her heart of hearts, she wants more. but she's been conditioned by another world to see herself as inherently undesireable. so she thinks that if she asks for a FWB, she'll be able to guard her heart.

she's wrong]

Exactly. It's kind of strange how accepting people really are here. But in a good way, it's a little like being home again.

[onerthes]

[Oh how wrong. Vira-Lorr had experienced that herself, though for different reasons. Ah, but time was a harsh teacher.]

I think survival can be quite the teacher of the importance of being accepting. We're all in it together after all, and a bit of care like this? Helps to keep us sane.

(CW: Duplicity, allusion to dubcon and forced submission)

[unphase]

[time and another world were for her. but she'd fallen at least a little bit for everyone she was with. even if the environment wasn't exactly conducive to that. and her expression reflects that fact]

Well, I like to think that I'm still relatively sane. Though, this world hopping without asking my permission is for the birds.

[onerthes]

I can only imagine. For me... I have only ever traveled to the one world, though I consider this world to be all one and a kind. I have a few friends who have dealt with multiples. It must be trying.

[unphase]

You don't have to. I'll tell you: it was awful. Start to finish, it was awful.

It can be. I worry about those left behind at home more than I do about those on the other world. By the time I'd left, I had maybe three friends. It was mentally exhausting. So I'll focus on those from home, who were only...mostly mentally exhausting.

[onerthes]

Your experience in that other world clearly has been much more trying than it is here. That... is unfortunate. [She grunted sourly.] Some of these strange worlds between worlds seem to be far more prone to making people distrust and hate each other.

I am... somewhat fortunate that I know everyone in my world is safe. We were in a time of peace and rebuilding, and the greatest threats are gone forever. It helps knowing they are safe.

[unphase]

Mm-hmm. Compared to the other world, this is a picnic. Even taking the recent instability into account. If I can fight back, I'm fine. If I'm given no other choice, I get angry. That world never gave me any other choice. It's exhausting to be angry all the time.

[softly, as in wonderment] It would have to be such a relief to you.

[onerthes]

And there is, without question, a way to fight back here. It's messy. It's imperfect. We lose some of the time? but we can fight back.

...

Less of a relief, as I've always known, but it's helped me to have a different perspective.