deernet | [backdated to the afternoon of 4/1]

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[backdated to the afternoon of 4/1]

So, as I'm sure you all noticed...the sun came up this morning.

I'm honestly at a loss. Under any other circumstance I would apologize for worrying everyone for nothing, but this...every book I read, every person I talked to, all agreed that Argonaut's month has been sunless since time immemorial. And now it's not.

I will be consulting Never Mind and Remina about this, as soon as I can get them to see me. After that...I suppose we'll see.

Stay safe out there, everyone.

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Perhaps seeing you give warning was enough for the Pthumerians to make a change.

[ it's possible that he is sending this from SY's place, in which case it's ridiculous because he says it aloud for his omen to transcribe. ]

[And perhaps Shen Yuan threw a pillow at him for the affront; the rest of Trench will never know.]

That's objectively horrifying, though. Like, you get how that's horrifying, right? Never mind, I'm going to explain it anyway.

If the Pthumerians either turned the sun back on or changed their minds about turning it off in the first place because of my forecast post, that means they're deliberately choosing to frighten and inconvenience us. Perhaps they even want us to suffer. Either way it indicates active malice on their part, as opposed to apathy or ignorant benevolence.

It might also indicate that they don't want us studying this world or attempting to organize ourselves in opposition to them. In which case they can go fuck themselves, seriously. I didn't ask to be here but studying lore is what I do; if they don't like it then they can just put me back where they found me, for fuck's sake.

[At least Luo Binghe only wants to rip his limbs off, goddamn!!]

[ He Xuan doesn't bother to text, just catches the pillow with frankly upsetting reflexes and looks over to the person lobbing it at him and writing all these rude words on the internet. He likes him so much. ]

Whenever humans attempted to catalogue and study the Supreme demons, we did our best to mess them up.

[ Pthumerians are a step up, but they're still involved enough in humans affairs that why wouldn't they do the same? Though the idea of the beings interfering in their lives being malicious doesn't seem to bother him, since that's been his assumption from about the time they put him in Speed Dating. ]

Though avoiding a month of darkness is hardly a cruelty.

[Shen Yuan huffs and makes a grabby hand to get his pillow back. Don't just keep it, you big jerk! (He likes you so much too <3)]

Well, of course you did, you're a shameless troll who likes messing with people. [He points out, very reasonably he feels.]

It's not really about the darkness though, it's the fact that they changed something. I don't like what this says about their powers or their relationship with us. If they can fuck with the day-night cycle, who's to say they can't fuck gravity, or drop a meteor on the city or whatever?

[He flops back onto his bed -- because that's where this conversation is happening, the two of them sitting behind the screen that separates his bedroom from the rest of the apartment in their inner robes, like a pair of schoolgirls having a sleepover. Maybe they'll braid each other's hair next -- and admits in a small voice,] I don't like not knowing what they want from us. I don't like the implication that we might be punished just for trying to find out.

[ He Xuan tosses the pillow back so that it lands on Shen Yuan's face at that comment about trolling, because he understands the intent if not the slang. ]

Bad things happen with or without the involvement of higher beings. A meteor could fall on us anyway.

[ Why worry about it, his tone seems to say. Why waste time trying to avoid what can't be avoided? ]

[Such a jerk.]

Some bad things can be planned for and mitigated. You can carry an umbrella when it looks like rain, you can build a dyke to keep out a flood...Sometimes you can even reason with people who want to hurt you, talk them out of it. If the Pthumerians won't let us plan for their actions or let themselves be reasoned with, then...

What's the point in doing anything? What reason is there not to just lay down and wait to die?

[Well that escalated quickly. But that's how it is, with Shen Yuan: he's been dancing on the edge of the abyss of despair for five years and counting now, and sometimes the ledge is thinner than others. Right now it feels very thin and crumbly indeed.]

[ He Xuan glances over at him, sidelong... and then follows the pillow, pouncing like some kind of big cat so he can pin Shen Yuan and look down into his face, study him to see if he's serious about that sort of talk. ]

Don't treat your life so lightly.

Oof!

[Shen Yuan wheezes for a moment, more out of surprise than He Xuan's actual weight, which is very slight for his height. He glares weakly.]

Is it speaking lightly to be realistic? You just said yourself that terrible things could happen at any moment.

They could.

That doesn't mean anything. Whether you only have another six seconds or sixty years, life is worth treasuring. Worth fighting for.

[ His intense expression softens a little. ]

Didn't you already die once with regrets, Yuan-di?

...yeah...

[His voice cracks; he has to look away for a moment, just to get his composure back.]

How do you make it stop feeling so pointless? Where did you find the strength to keep fighting?

[ He Xuan takes his chin and gently but firmly directs his face forward again. ]

Spite.

[ No ~friendship is magic~ for He Xuan, he survives and thrives solely on the determination that he won't let anybody or anything have the pleasure of beating him. ]

I don't care if some cosmic powers have ultimate control over my fate. It's my life. I'm not giving up the good bits by waiting around to die.

[Right, of course that's the answer the angry ghost would give, Shen Yuan doesn't know why he finds it so surprising.]

You know, humans tend to get ulcers if they carry too much stress around. I guess I'll have to find ways to balance the bad with some good, if I'm going to make spite my motive...

[It's a wet and somewhat unfocused smile, but it's still a smile on his face.]

Does Xuan-ge have any suggestions?

[ Xuan-ge, it turns out, has plenty of suggestions about how to make life worth living, and it more than willing to share them, since he has Shen Yuan in such an obliging position already. So that's the end of that conversation, for now at least. ]

should probably be considered concerning, shouldn't it?

Well, I'M definitely concerned. I think everyone should be, honestly.

normal when things are normally abnormal is yeah. a thing that's not usually good.

This has got me a bit on edge.

Honestly, I'm glad it's up. Everyone looooves to blame the moon for everything so now they don't get to.

HAH.

...Okay.

Bit of a fan, I take it?

[He has NO idea.]

Yes, I absolutely am, actually. Moon Presence constantly protects us and does everything she can within her power. She's awesome and I will keep saying so.

[Usagi may or may not have some trauma from Deerington linked to the Moon's disappearance and everyone being unhappy with whatever the moon did or didn't do.]

Huh. I'll admit there's still a lot I don't know about Moon Presence, and her relationship with the other Patrons and us Sleepers. Perhaps you'd care to enlighten me?

Well, I don't know how good I would be about that. But Moon Presence was back in Deerington, tied to Julia and forced to be something she didn't want to be. When we released her, she promised she would do everything she could to keep us safe and protected. I mean, she's dealing with really shitty circumstances, but she hasn't broken that promise and she's one of the only Pthumerians who cares about US and how things are affecting US, not just that we happen to exist where they are.

[as soon as Jin Guangyao reads the words, 'I will be consulting Nevermind and Remina,' he allows himself about a minute to feel his feelings (they are anxious feelings, for the record), before he masters them. then he places a private voice call to Shen Yuan.

as soon as he answers:]

Shen-di is very brave to approach the Pthumerians about this matter by himself.

[translation: did you hit your head? are you fucking crazy? are you high? are you safe?]

Edited 2023-04-06 15:24 (UTC)

Less brave and more supremely frustrated. I suppose I've learned to be suspicious of sudden changes.

In any case I couldn't get the Pthumerians to speak to me (or...whatever you want to call that thing Remina does) but the Arcane Scholars at least aren't worried. Whether that's a sensible reaction on their part I leave as an exercise to the reader. >_<

[he did notice that. even though karate had been on hold due to unforseen ...disaster (not the worst it could have gone, but certainly not good), more often than not, he's still been waking up early. sometimes he practices. sometimes he takes walks. lately, he's staying in because wolves.]

Sometimes, the bad shit's heralded by some sort of "blot out the sun" B.S., so maybe it's a win.

[equally possible it's not. that's the beauty of, no the horror of ...the horrible beauty (?) of trench. sure, let's go with that.]

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[backdated to the afternoon of 4/1]

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