video: un; apparition

[unphase]

[Tinya's sitting in her sunroom wearing a white dress with Moonlight in her usual place on the armrest, watching everyone carefully]

I realize this may be a...painful topic for others, but has anyone considered a memorial garden for those we've loved and lost along the way? The world I was in before this had one and it was rather nice to have somewhere to go to leave flowers, to reflect on our losses.

I'm more than willing to spearhead this project if others think it would be helpful.

[she takes a deep, steadying breath, then continues]

I also find myself in need of a sensei. I'm fairly advanced as far as martial arts go as I came in third during the Trench-wide tournament about a year ago and I've only gotten better since.

Anyone who was interested in training me would have a good chance at bragging rights should there be another such tournament. I only want to learn from the best, so that I can be the best.

In both cases, please let me know your thoughts.

Thank you.

Comments

[unphase]

No. No. Not like a graveyard at all. Back home, when someone dies we create elaborate gardens to memorialize them as a precursor to them finding the Mistress' Eternal Gardens. So it would be a garden, something everyone could go to and feel glad about remembering those they've lost. That they were here, they were loved, and they will be missed.

I've never made such a garden before, not on my own at least, but...the losses of Wesker and Sasuke so closely together...I want somewhere to go where I can remember the good times and wish them well on their journeys. If that makes sense?

[fogsong]

I get it, Tinya, I think that makes a lot of sense. I usually just visit the ocean when I wanna... talk to them, I guess. [ Wesker and Rose. Sasuke and Nico and Joseph. ] If you need any help with this, I'd... You know I'd be happy to. I can't promise a ton of my time, I'm pretty much always busy, but I'll make room for this.

[unphase]

I can't go to the ocean. That's too much of an...actual graveyard for me to feel comfortable with it. Something beautiful, that's what I'm used to. What I think they deserve, something which could be---could be added to. When more are lost.

I was hoping you'd say that. You really are the sister I always wanted, but never had. If...if you were open to it, I'd--. Well. I'm probably presuming too much.

[fogsong]

Just remember: they're not really gone when they're out there. They're just... away. [ That's how Sharon has been getting through it, clinging to the knowledge that Rose is out there, being a squid-mom and taking care of the squid-babies and helping them get to shore. ] But I get it. I... I really do.

[ Hold the phone. ] Out with it, Tinya. [ Warm but firm. ]

[unphase]

On one level, I know that. On the other...we were told that when people left, it was a glitch in the system. So were they still there? Were they back home? They wanted us not to know for sure. That way, we were more easily controllable because no one wanted to be trapped as a glitch in the system. That's one of many reasons why I hate those who were in charge.

[Tinya draws in a deep breath and lets it out] I was wondering if you'd be interested in a familial blood bond. Don't say yes or no right away, I want you to think about it before giving me your answer.

[fogsong]

Just remember: this isn't that world. For all that his place can suck, we at least have some idea of what happens to those who leave and they're not... trapped or tortured or... used against us.

[ Oh. Oh. Sharon wasn't expecting that. ] ...can I ask why you would want a bond with me? I've always been kind of wary of them. I don't know much about the types of bonds but... to bond with me would be to experience the type of hate I feel.

(CW: PTSD)

[unphase]

I know. I might have...maybe some kind of PTSD where the other world is concerned. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and then when it doesn't, I get even more tense because I keep expecting it.

I can take it. [Tinya says gently] But, seriously, think it over and let me know. No pressure either way.

[fogsong]

I can't say I'm an expert on recognizing PTSD in someone but... You kind of have some of the hallmarks. The first step is recognizing it, though. The next is working on it. [ She believes Tinya will get there, though. She's got a lot of faith in this woman. ]

I'll... Okay, I'll think it over, Tinya. Maybe do some research, too. I don't know much about the bonds beyond the basics.

(CW: mental illness)

[unphase]

Yeah. Some of my teammates have it--those who were lost for a year. So yeah. I recognize them, too. I just wish...[she sighs] I wish this place had some kind of mental health specialist. I can't help thinking it would be really helpful, but the poor person would likely be overloaded the moment they arrived.

Okay. And that's fine, I know it was kind of an out of left field request.

(CW: mental illness)

[fogsong]

They'd be booked day in and day out. Maybe ask anonymously on the network for some advice? I imagine we have at least a few people with a bit of experience in the area that might be able to help.

If it helps, I like that you asked even if I'm not sure right now. [ It gave her the warm fuzzies, okay. Tinya's important to her and if she wants to form a bond with her, well, that just feels like proof of their relationship. ]

(CW: mental illness)

[unphase]

And they'd be swimming in trade goods. Like those old Scrooge McDuck cartoons only swimming through seashells instead of gold. But, asking anonymously...that's a good idea. I think I'll do that.

Really? Then, I'm glad. You're family--the good kind, like my teammates back home, not like my actual biological family.

[fogsong]

I'll keep an eye out then. I might need a few tips myself.

Hard same. Fuck our biological families.

[unphase]

It can't hurt?

Fuck them all the way to the Void. Because that's what they deserve.

[fogsong]

Bingo. And we both deserve better. [ For a long time, it felt like she got what she deserved with her family and The Order but she's started to realize that's never been true, no matter what they'd tried to make her believe all those years ago. ] I honestly kind of feel like I've found that 'better' here.

[unphase]

Absolutely. [Tinya says emphatically. her mother who used her every chance she got, her father who sold her 'sisters' to pay off gambling debts] So do I. Even though I worry about how my husband and son are doing back home.

[fogsong]

I can't imagine how hard it must be to be apart from them and for so long, too. I really hope you see them again.

[unphase]

It's...[she gives a small bark of a laugh]. Difficult. I worry about them. I worry about that bitch who manipulated my husband. I worry about the guy who wants to be more than a friend, even though I don't see him that way. [another laugh, more rueful this time] I worry about everything.

[fogsong]

Is there anything I can do to help with that?

[unphase]

Maybe...just let me vent from time to time. Not often, but when it gets to be too much.

Also, tips for getting a guy you're just friends with to get that you're just friends, that would be great.

[fogsong]

Hey, whenever you need me, just call. Or stop by. I am always willing to listen, Tinya. [ Sharon had hoped it was obvious after all the time they've spent together, after how much Tinya has told her, but maybe it helps to hear it for sure. ]

And my only tip is to be upfront and honest. If he chooses not to listen, I'd say that makes him a shitty friend and you deserve a better one.

[unphase]

[Tinya's voice is gentle] I know. You're my sister from another mister. And be glad of it! [Tinya says with a laugh] I wouldn't wish my father on anyone!

Well, crap. I've tried what you've suggested. It probably doesn't help that my husband's gang and my 'friend's' gang were rivals. I feel rather like a bone being fought over by two hounds.

[fogsong]

Yeah, no offense, Tinya, but if you ever see that guy again... Drop him like he's a grenade. He's a walking red flag.

[unphase]

I wish it were that simple. [Tinya says ruefully. but does she have any other emotions available at this point] My son sees him as more of a father than he does his own father. As long as that hold is kept, I can't see any way of being rid of him.

[fogsong]

Do you think he's good for your son to be around, though?

[unphase]

[almost absently] ...no. As long as my son clings to another, he cannot claim his true heritage. On his father's or mother's sides.

If only I'd had a daughter. Things would be far more straightforward if I had a daughter, I could have taken her in hand with none protesting. Including my mother. But my husband and I left it to chance and thus I have a son.