sad space dad had a bad (
shiro2hero) wrote in
deernet2023-04-08 11:49 pm
video; un: shiro
[Local man sits at his kitchen table, arms folded and a coffee mug in front of him. He looks... worried. Concerned. And is clearly preparing for a Speech.]
My name is Shiro.
I'm one of the Sleepers who came here from Deerington, the dream world. I don't actually know how many of you out there are in the same boat anymore, so... with a choice like we've been given, I don't know how many of you remember the last time we had one like it.
[He means the vote that ended the dream.]
That vote ended with Julia Sodder's death.
I want to think it's because a lot of us didn't fully understand the consequences. I want to think it was because a lot of people were hurt, afraid, and thought they were doing the right thing. Or they just wanted to protect the people they knew. Regardless, Julia Sodder died. The people she'd brought into her world to save her... they let her down.
[Deep breaths Shiro, because it really sounds like you were trying to say I let her down, there. He folds his hands, and props his chin up in them.]
You can probably see where I'm going with this.
I'm not saying don't give this Pthumerian your opinion. At this point, inaction is probably the worst idea we've got. These beings - they're a part of this world whether we like it or not. They have been for longer than we can probably realize. [He grimaces.] Aside from one...
[Friggin Mother Mercy/Superior.]
We should be careful, I think, to do anything that cuts them off from their world. Even if we think it might help the people we care about. Protect them. We could end up doing something we really regret.
[There's a long pause, Shiro debating his next words.]
Like always, I'm open to explaining anything to people who have no idea where I'm coming from. I'm more than happy to talk about what happened in Deerington. The way I see it, maybe that will help us understand this world.
My name is Shiro.
I'm one of the Sleepers who came here from Deerington, the dream world. I don't actually know how many of you out there are in the same boat anymore, so... with a choice like we've been given, I don't know how many of you remember the last time we had one like it.
[He means the vote that ended the dream.]
That vote ended with Julia Sodder's death.
I want to think it's because a lot of us didn't fully understand the consequences. I want to think it was because a lot of people were hurt, afraid, and thought they were doing the right thing. Or they just wanted to protect the people they knew. Regardless, Julia Sodder died. The people she'd brought into her world to save her... they let her down.
[Deep breaths Shiro, because it really sounds like you were trying to say I let her down, there. He folds his hands, and props his chin up in them.]
You can probably see where I'm going with this.
I'm not saying don't give this Pthumerian your opinion. At this point, inaction is probably the worst idea we've got. These beings - they're a part of this world whether we like it or not. They have been for longer than we can probably realize. [He grimaces.] Aside from one...
[Friggin Mother Mercy/Superior.]
We should be careful, I think, to do anything that cuts them off from their world. Even if we think it might help the people we care about. Protect them. We could end up doing something we really regret.
[There's a long pause, Shiro debating his next words.]
Like always, I'm open to explaining anything to people who have no idea where I'm coming from. I'm more than happy to talk about what happened in Deerington. The way I see it, maybe that will help us understand this world.

no subject
[It sounds so simple, he knows. But he wouldn't be telling Ange that if he didn't believe it himself.]
You aren't alone in this. You aren't the only one who's gone through this, and had it affect someone you love.
I'll talk to Ruby. And I'm here for you, too. Any time you need me, okay?
[He can't just magically fix it for her. As much as he wishes he could. But he can offer an ear. He can offer words and confidence and presence. Because she absolutely is not alone. He won't let her be.]
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I'm not. [ ... ] Not giving up, I mean.
[ Despite the fact that she still sounds weak, the girl doesn't sound unsure about those words. There's a little bit of a tempting edge to the idea of giving up right now, sure, but.. ]
That would just be cowardly. And I-- I have to make up for everything. [ That feels way more important than giving up. She can't do that if she gives up. ]
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[Absolutely proud of her. Nothing's going to change his mind about it. It's easy to give up. To decide it's too much and fall into despair. He's... been on that edge. Not recently, but it doesn't change that he's felt it too.]
You'll get there. You and Ruby both.
I... I've been told a few times - if you can't believe it for yourself, believe I believe it.
Sometimes that helps get me through.
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[ .. can she do that? It sounds so sappy. It's the sort of thing that Ange, especially years upon years ago, would have discarded as optimistic nonsense. As something people tell themselves to feel better, but never actually changes anything.
Right now though.. It feels like a lot to just have someone believing for her. Doing anything for her. Especially at a moment where it feels like she doesn't deserve it.
It makes her voice a little shaky when she adds: ]
.. I'll try.
[ Another pause, and then she slowly asks: ]
Can I-- [ It feels crappy. Something inside of her definitely tells her she doesn't deserve it, but Ange speaks up, even when it hurts. ] Can I ask something else?
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[It's all he'll ever ask of anyone. Just to try. If the people he cares about can do nothing else but try - why would he want more?]
Ange, you can ask me anything.
[They're family, by now. Who is he if not someone to go the extra mile for his family?]
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Hard in a way that has nothing to do with the usual reasons. Ange doesn't want to keep up some front, knows that she doesn't have to with Shiro. It's not that idea that holds her back here - it's the guilt, making it so hard to ask for anything.
But she's trying. He told her to just try, so she-- she is doing just that. ]
I.. I would like a hug. [ She sounds so vulnerable while asking for it, especially while still dealing with said guilt. ] Would it be too much to ask you to come over..?
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[That's it. That's the answer. No questions, no skepticism. Just an immediate Okay. She tried, she asked, and he's absolutely going to honor it.]
[... Let's be real here, though, he'd come if she asked no matter what had happened.]
[From the sounds on the other end of the line, he's getting a coat. Probably his helmet, considering he's taking the bike to her.]
I'll message you when I'm outside if you want.
moving to action? c:
[ Usually she would just offer to wait for him outside, but considering Ange still isn't doing very great, she figures that might not be the best idea right now. There's only so much time she can actually spend outside of bed without feeling like she's about to collapse, especially since it's not like it's been all that long since she initially woke up. ]
Please do. I'll get to the door when you're here.
SURE
[That's all, before he climbs on his bike, and takes off toward Ange's place. He knows the way - and even if he weren't tearing up the street on a hoverbike - it doesn't take him long.]
[Once he's parked, and hopped off, he fires off a brief text to Ange. Here.]
[Really, he's worried about her. Worried she's hurt, or worse, and downplaying it out of her own concern for Ruby. Which... Shiro honestly can't blame her for. He'd do the same thing in her place, wouldn't he? If he'd hurt anyone he cared about - if he hurt his partner...]
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She blinks against the light from the outside, still feeling a little unused to it, after spending a month in a magical dimension and then just sleeping in her room. The girl does look tired, and perhaps a little pale, but she doesn't look terrible. Not physically, anyway.
Though Shiro may only have the briefest moment of being able to look at that before the girl is already stepping forward to latch onto him in a hug, holding onto the man like a liferaft. ]
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[So when Ange steps out. When she doesn't even hesitate before wrapping her arms around him, it's a relief. More than he can put into words. She's not hurt. Not physically, anyway.]
[He doesn't hesitate either. He returns the embrace for all he's worth. Or, at least, as much as possible without crushing her ribs.]
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It's only human, after all, to wish to be supported by those around you.
But there's a physical component to it too, considering.. well, she can't exactly stand by herself right now. She's still too tired. Shiro may feel that she's even kind of slumping against him right now, only kept up by his arms around her. ]
I'm..
[ She swallows.
It's hard to speak. Especially these words, especially when Ange is so strict towards herself right now as to what she can or can't say. ]
I'm so glad to see you.
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I'm glad to see you too, Ange.
[He was so... so worried about her. About her and Ruby both. But here she is. Alive, in one piece. He won't say she's all right, because she's very clearly not. But who would be after that?]
So glad. I was - really worried about you.
[If she can be open about it, he'll just encourage her. Talk to her with the same honesty.]
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[ Not physically, anyway. Every single other aspect of this entire situation is a huge mess, so there's no way she can reassure him about any of that, but..
.. well, at least there's this. At least this is something she can say that's actually true. Others may have gotten physically hurt, but she didn't. ]
So.. [ Her voice is still quiet. Weak. ] You don't have to worry anymore.
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[Not physically, anyway. He probably shouldn't be insisting like this. Probably should let it lie, but he can't. Not really. Shiro can't let something like that alone, where someone he cares for is involved. Ange probably wouldn't, if their roles were reversed.]
[But he won't push harder than that. He'll let it go, if she wants him to. And just hold her up.]
I'm always going to worry about you. You're family - remember?
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She wonders if she will eventually feel like she deserves it again. And when it'll be. ]
Even though I tried to push you away?
[ She doesn't say it out loud, but the implication is there all the same in her words. That's not what family does. ]
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[He's done it in the worst way possible. Pushed away someone who loved him, someone he loved, out of fear. Out of a desire to protect him. To be free. It was a selfish, fearful choice.]
[And everything ended up working out, thanks to this place.]
It's okay, Ange. I don't blame you. I'm not upset with you.
I'm just grateful you're still with us.
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But she's trying her best to embrace Shiro's words, rather than throw those away. ]
T.. Thank you. [ Even her voice is still shaky. ] I just-- I hope it's going to feel better. Eventually.
[ Because Ange is well aware it's not going to feel better that quickly. ]
no subject
[He's sure of it. Probably not right away. It might take a longer time than she likes. But - it will happen. It has to. This wasn't her fault, this wasn't something she consciously chose to do.]
[So it has to get better.]
And we're here for you. Both of you. However long it takes.