[Text] [Anonymous] | Shadowbringers/Endwalker Spoilers

[aetherweaver]

[Everything seems... frustrating. Everything seems like it's stewing. He wanders around, trying to find something to do other than swatting bugs and killing (and sometimes saving) beasts.]

[But is everything really... how it's supposed to be? He's not sure. He takes a crystal out of his pocket and stares at it for a while. He's not sure how to use the magic here - he's tried, but maybe because it crosses the rift he can't call upon others? He huffs in frustration, curling up a little bit.]

]But he doesn't let go of the crystal. This crystal, which means so much to him, that came to him through a twist of fate. ... But was it really fate? Or was it always going to happen?]

[Eventually, he grabs his omni and writes out a post. Anonymously, because... well. He doesn't want people to worry. Even if it'll probably be obvious that it's him...]

Is who you were in the past important to who you are now?

I would have said yes, but some days... some days I'm not sure. I don't know anymore.

Everything's so complicated and I don't even know if who I was is who I am now...

Maybe this was stupid to ask. Sorry.

Comments

text | un: sds

[fogsong]

Yes. She isn't who I am now, not entirely, but I exist as I am because she gave up everything she was to create me. That makes her pretty fucking important.

Why would it matter if you're not who you once were? That still makes them important. They're a part of you.

[aetherweaver]

What if people want you to be that person to them? But you can't. I can't.

[fogsong]

Who cares what they want? You don't have to be anyone but yourself.

[aetherweaver]

But then the question comes up again - how much of me is me? If I could take out the part of someone's soul in mine then would I still be the way I am?

It's a hard question to answer, because it doesn't really have an answer. Probably.

[fogsong]

It's easier to answer than you'd believe.

All of you is you. If it's been there since you were born, it's all you even if part of it came from someone else. And, no, you probably wouldn't be the same if you took out that piece from your soul. You'd still be you but you'd be different. Probably.

[aetherweaver]

I just... I wish I could have met him. Then maybe I'd be able to tell just how similar we really are.

But even if I go back, he won't be there.

[fogsong]

Does it really matter if you're similar or not?

[aetherweaver]

Doesn't it bother you when people say 'oh you remind me of [person]!'.

Now imagine that happening with sad glances over the course of months or years.

I'm certain he was great, but I just want to be my own person.

[fogsong]

No, not even with sad glances would that bother me. Well, okay, it'd piss me off after a while and I'd tell them to fucking quit.

If you want to be your own person, be your own person. If they only see someone else when they talk to you, that's a them problem and it's something they need to sort out, not you.

[aetherweaver]

I guess if they only see part of me they don't really see me, do they?

I'd say that it shouldn't be a problem any longer but these things keep sneaking up on me and biting me in the arse.

[fogsong]

Bingo.

It'll always find a way to wiggle into your life but... I don't think it should be your problem.

[aetherweaver]

I'd like it to not be my problem, but I'm one of those people where everything becomes my problem whether I want it to be or not. :(

I would like it to not be.

[fogsong]

If you don't want it to be your problem then say 'fuck it' and don't let it. [ AS IF IT WERE THAT EASY ]

[aetherweaver]

I wish things were that simple. I just want to go back to how things used to be.

Back when I was younger and less stressed.

[fogsong]

If only, right?

No point in wishing for things like that. This is the hand you've been dealt.

[aetherweaver]

I know. People keep telling me I need to stop trying to take on everything, though.

[fogsong]

Might be wise to try.

[aetherweaver]

I've been trying here, for almost a year. It's... hard to resist the urge to go and help people.

And 'have you considered being more of an asshole?' isn't really my style.

[fogsong]

Consider just choosing a day of the week when you don't do anything for anyone but yourself. Think of like a day off. If someone needs help with something those days, just... send them my way.

[aetherweaver]

... That's actually a good idea. Though I'm not sure what to do for myself other than train.

I've never been one for a spa day or something of that nature.

[fogsong]

Try a new hobby. Pick up a paint brush. Write a book. Visit a shop you've never entered before. Visit the beach and sit on the sand and watch the waves. Spend the day in bed.

The world is your oyster. Do the things you don't normally let yourself do.

[aetherweaver]

The 'write a book' suggestion has been a common one to be honest. Maybe I'll start working on that.

Though if I did the things I normally would not let myself do I might be in trouble. :)

[fogsong]

Nothing wrong with getting into a little trouble!

[aetherweaver]

I have someone I'm smooching, I wouldn't want to get drunk and smooch other people without asking if it's okay.

Alternatively I could get in a fight and seriously hurt someone, which I don't want to do.

[fogsong]

Ding-dong ditch then!