Z Nation Vlog Newsletter #1

[catchatting]

[ When Zari's face comes on the screen, it's painted like a glamorous leopard spotted cat and her hair is done up to mimic the shape of cat ears. She's sitting on a plush pink upholstered chair with carefully curated items on the wall behind her that fit the themes of light pink and leopard print. ]

Hi, Z Nation! It's your favorite celebfluencer... me! Okay, I know we're all from different times and places and a lot of you don't know me yet, but that's okay. We'll get there. My name is Zari Tarazi and I'm all about clean living, beauty and staying true to yourself. I'm a model, actress, singer and practicing Muslim.

I think I need to start doing regular content here, because I have absolutely fallen off my posting schedule in the last few months and that's no way to live, so think of this as a sort of newsletter-vlog. Or whatever.

[ She sits up a little straighter and then resettles in, eyes glancing to the side quickly to make sure her ring light is still positioned correctly. ]

First of all, I am looking for instrumentalists who would be interested in helping me to make some new music. Just something fun... maybe we could do some little concerts around the city the brighten everyone's days, record a few things. No big. I would be singing, of course, but I'm open to the right collaboration.

Next up, who wants to get mani-pedis t want to meet some people who are down for gabbing and good skincare and I haven't had a facial since we saved the world or stopped with me or do face masks or anything like that? I'm dying for some feminine companionship. Now, I don't drink, but if you want a glass of wine with all that, totally cool with me. I justime from collapsing in on itself?

[ She looks away for a moment. ]

Is that what we did? Oh, whatever. Anyway, you're totally welcome for it, but my skin is a disaster. Time travel rages havoc on the pores.

Oh, and speaking of not drinking, where's a good spot for mocktails around here? Low-cal preferred, organic required. Consume healthy when you can!

[ A small pause. ]

This is normally where I'd plug a sponsor like Hello Fresh or RAID: Shadow Legends, but I guess since this is a new series I don't have one yet. Would you like to be a sponsor? Hit me up in the DMs. Otherwise check out John Constantine's store. I'm there sometimes, so come by. I mean I don't work there or anything. I just hang around. Oh crap I'm one of those people who hangs around their friend's job, aren't I? I really need that music thing to happen. Please and thanks.

Oh and like, subscribe and comment down below with your cutest masks or makeup. Let's inspire each other! Wait does this thing have an engagement algorithm? Whatever. Just show off your cutest looks this month! Love ya!

Comments

[catchatting]

No way. My friends have been to Hell and it's nothing like this.

[ And she's just going to ignore the insult in there. ]

[kyley_b]

I legit can't tell if you picked up on the sarcasm or not.

Are you a for real human being? Or some kind of... sentient algorithm? Serious question.

[catchatting]

I picked up on it and I chose to ignore it.

[ She smiles a little smugly. ]

If I was a sentient algorithm I'd be spouting off trendy words and hashtags without connecting them together.

[kyley_b]

Fair.

I dunno. I knew a sentient ad once and she was pretty eloquent. And ninety percent of what you said sounds like what a robot would think an influencer sounds like. Or a parody.

Oh my god, are you trolling us? 'Cause that is actually sort of funny if so.

[catchatting]

No. I was a really successful businesswoman back in 2042. I made millions while my baby brother was pretending to be in business school. He's a terrible liar, by the way. Now we both save the world together. Or we did before I washed up here.

[ She shrugs. ]

What year are you from?

[kyley_b]

Further proof business school is useless, huh?

2021. I think. It gets a little fuzzy.

How do you save the world?

[catchatting]

And yet guess which child is the smart and favored one in this Muslim home: The one running an actual successful business worth millions or the one who says he's going to business school when he's actually just spent two years running around doing time travel.

[ Not that Zari's a little miffed about that. ]

But, yeah, so the Fates--like the Greek ones--were all trying to enslave humanity's will or whatever and then we got stuck in a zombie apocalypse. Then we were stuck inside a bunch of TV shows and eating different colored jars of goo and we fought our way out of the TV and then I unplugged their stupid machine and bingo humanity saved!

[ There were several steps she skipped in there, but who's counting... ]

Also, there were two of me. Time travel is weird. The other me is like this super smart computer hacker. Not as fashionable, but still very badass if you ask me.

[kyley_b]

I'm sorry. That's total bullshit. [He means it, too.]

Oh. Huh. Okay, I can buy that. Especially since we were all just squids a short while ago, so fuck it, sure. Thanks for saving the future.

I'd agree that that's very badass, but I'm biased. [He smiles finally. He still looks like a dork when he does, but more like the kind you hire to get groceries for your grandma or something.] I'm sorry for being a shit to you. It was just so fucking jarring.

[catchatting]

[ Zari smiles, but it's something noticeably smaller and warmer than the smile she puts on when she's in Influencer Mode. ]

Thanks. It is frustrating, but I love them. It's not their fault that they don't get this stuff. You didn't, either, a minute ago. We've all got our bullshit, right?

[ And that's a very recent lesson for her. Traveling through time and meeting so many different people hasn't changed who she is, but it's given her a new perspective on it all. ]

Part of being happy and successful is finding where you fit into it all instead of trying to force yourself to fit into a space where you don't. Believe it or not, my bubbly personality and intuition has gotten my super-powered friends out of some serious scrapes that they couldn't just punch their way through.

[kyley_b]

Yeah. Uhm. It's not the same at ALL, because sexism, but like... the parental pressure stuff, wanting them to be proud of you or whatever. I get that.

Oh, I believe it. I've learned that superpowers don't make you smart. Well, unless that's your power, I guess, but you know what I mean.

[catchatting]

Appearances can be deceiving. I have a friend who comes off like a complete bro, but if you get him talking about history or something, you'll realize pretty quickly that he's just a huge nerd. Total softy, too.

[ A little grin pulls at her lips. ]

He can also turn to steel, but his brain and his heart come in handy more often than his powers. Superheroes are weird. I'm still pretty new to all of it.

[kyley_b]

He sounds like he'd be very popular.

Why'd you get involved? Just the whole saving the world thing, felt you had to?

[catchatting]

[ Zari laughs, because while Nate isn't her type, exactly, the other Zari is completely stupid in love with him and he is a really good guy most of the time. ]

Oh, my brother Behrad kidnapped me because I was going to tell our parents that he was lying about business school. I don't think anyone means to join that team. We all just accidentally fall into it. I wound up helping them a little and then after that, I guess I just... found a family or something. That sounds totally dorky, but I love them. Being super internet famous doesn't exactly bring in the best sort of friendships, but with the Legends, I know they'd all have my back if I needed it and none of them would sleep with my boyfriend.

[kyley_b]

...wow. If my little brother kidnapped me I'd kick his ass.

But that doesn't sound dorky! Family isn't just who you're related to. If you love them, you love them. [He's a big sap.]

Wow, yeah, nobody should do that.