un: stanford | voice

[cryptograms]

Greetings, Trench! This is Stanford Pines speaking. Many of you I met in Deerington, and others I only met after arriving in Trench.

For those of you I haven't met: I worked as a researcher of all things paranormal and anomalous in my home dimension, and after I arrived in Deerington I used my experience in that field to research and catalogue the events, creatures, history, and metaphysical inner workings of Deerington, the Dream, and its residents.

Now, I wasn't the only person gathering this information. Several other individuals compiled their own documents on the same subjects and made them available to all of Deerington. Several of the authors vanished, however, and the distribution of their works depended on other Sleepers already having their own copies to share.

Which brings me to a proposal I have for the entire town.

[ There's the brief sound of shuffling paper before Ford continues. ]

Assuming no such other project is underway I'd like to begin keeping a publicly accessible archive of information gathered by Sleepers, particularly as it pertains to the Sleepers as a whole, as well as the nature and history of this dimension.

So, I'm looking both for individuals willing to contribute their own research, as well as any ideas as to where this archive could be housed. We may be able to requisition our own wing within the School of Mutter's Archaic Archives, but it may be preferable to select a more neutral location, outside of the immediate influence of any of the Patron Pthumerians.

[ Ford pauses for a moment, clears his throat, and continues. ]

Thank you all for hearing me out. And if you ever encounter anything especially weird, please don't hesitate to contact me!

Comments

[klawful]

(Karkat doesn't really mind, but he keeps to text himself. As always.)

IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THE BLOOD CRAZED ZEALOTS SOLVED THAT ISSUE IN THEIR OWN TIME SPENT IN THIS WRETCHED SPHINCTER OF A CITY. THE SLEEPER FARM SEEMS TO EXIST IN A MUTUALLY SHARED PERMA GORE-PARADISE FOR THOSE FUCKERS.

SO I THINK IT IS POSSIBLE FOR US TO REPLICATE SOMETHING LIKE THAT. MAYBE. WE PROBABLY JUST NEED TO MASTER THE BLOOD MAGIC. WE'RE ALL LIKE LEVEL ONES RIGHT NOW. IT'S HUMILIATING.

THANK YOU. MY MEMOS ARE GODDAMN LEGENDARY AND PRACTICALLY VALUED AS HOLY SCRIPTURE AMONG SOME CIRCLES. YOUR DEEP APPRECIATION IS NOTICED AND I WILL NOT SACRIFICE YOU ANY TIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE BECAUSE OF IT.

[cryptograms]

Hmm... I heard something about the farm, but unfortunately I haven't had a chance to see it for myself. Hopefully I'll get a chance to see it soon. It might shed some light on the possibilities ahead of us.

[ And then, as if this conversation is perfectly normal: ]

Are they really? Are you the central figure of a localized cult, or is it something less formal and organized?

[klawful]

TRUST ME, IT IS NOT UNFORTUNATE THAT YOU HAVE NOT VISITED THE FARM. YOU WILL PROBABLY BE MURDERED. BRUTALLY. GRANTED, I SURVIVED, BUT I AM ALSO GENERALLY SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY.

PROBABLY. BACK IN THE WORLD, I COME FROM, I WAS A GOD, AND PEOPLE WERE COMPLETELY GRIPPED AND ENTHRALLED BY MY CULTURAL WISDOM. I GENERALLY TRY TO AVOID PEOPLE HERE THOUGH, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN MY ONLINE PRESENCE DOESN'T TRANSCEND SPACE AND TIME STILL.

[cryptograms]

I don't doubt that it's dangerous, but how else am I supposed to study it unless I see it for myself?

[ But that's not as important as: ]

I see! Have you had a chance to meet any of the other deities that have been drawn into Trench yet?

[klawful]

COLLECT DATA FROM SURVIVORS, OBVIOUSLY. DO YOU THINK SCIENTISTS STUDIED HOW HOT LAVA WAS BY STEPPING IN THEMSELVES? PROBABLY NOT. OR MAYBE ONE DID AND REALIZED AS HE WAS DYING HOW STUPID HE WAS.

NOT THAT I AM AWARE OF. ARE THERE A LOT?