[VIDEO]; UN: [USERNAME NOT SET]

[demonicbeauty]

[The time away from Deerington has definitely not improved Ariadne's skill with a camera. The feed immediately pops on too close to her face, more or less framing nothing but her gray eye. She quickly realizes her error and pulls it back, the feed shaking and rattling until she manages to steady it.

And there she is. The face of an idol. Or possibly someone familiar.]

Just to be clear, I'm not Padmé Amidala and I'm not Jane Foster.

[Her voice is light and airy, like a little, trilling bird. She offers the feed a sympathetic look, as if apologetic that she's neither of these women. She's heard so much about them. They seem pretty great.

Ariadne is...not as great.

But she clears her throat and continues.]

It's me, Ariadne. I...well. I'm sure everyone is confused. I know I am. And if you need to talk about it, I'm happy to listen.

But, uh, what I really wanted to say is that somehow, my orchard is here. All of my trees. And some of them even have fruit. So if you need something fresh to eat or...just something familiar, you're welcome to come spend some time with my trees.

I think I might start a garden. One that everyone could use. Someplace to think. I don't know...

[And she's lost in thought for a moment. Ariadne knows nothing about starting a business or anything. But how hard could it be?

After a moment, she shakes her head.]

I hope everyone is all right.

Comments

[demonicbeauty]

[Cue the confused expression on her face.]

...what's a sleemo?

[facultative]

Something to describe scum like him.

Now tell me you're not going to accept his offer.

[demonicbeauty]

Dean isn't scum. He's...

[All right. She has to struggle a little for a descriptor.]

He's rough around the edges. Anyway, I was the one who asked him to explain sex. He seems to have a lot of experience. And I don't know anything about it.

[facultative]

He's trying to take advantage of you.

[demonicbeauty]

I don't see how.

I don't have anything he could possibly want.

[facultative]

You don't know that.

[Don't make him say the word sex.]

[demonicbeauty]

I know Dean.

[She may be missing the point, but she's not missing everything.]

Anakin, what's this really about?

[facultative]

[This is far too public for him and he doesn't trust her ability to set things to private if she can't even set a username.]

I don't trust him. Guys like him only want one thing from women.

[demonicbeauty]

"Guys like him." You mean "sleemos?" Anakin, you've never even met him. You didn't even know he existed until I mentioned his name.

[That said, she's been a courtier long enough to understand the concept of "only want one thing from women." Sort of. Enough to put on her most tranquil and comforting voice as she adds:]

If you're worried that I might get intoxicated, you don't have to be.

[facultative]

He invited you over for drinks and wanted to talk to you about... that. I don't have to know him to know what he wants.

[He can be worried all he wants!!!]

[demonicbeauty]

[Ariadne's mother used to talk about how snarly males fought over her. But this is completely ridiculous.

She lets out a small exhale.]

Would it make you feel better if you came too?

[facultative]

I'd feel better if you didn't see him at all.

[demonicbeauty]

Well, that's not going to happen. He's my friend.

But why don't you come with me? Maybe he can become your friend too. And you'll see that he's a good man.

[facultative]

[He is never going to be friends with Dean while he still thinks he's trying to get with Ariadne because she looks like Padmé.]

I doubt there's anything to see in him.

[demonicbeauty]

You won't know until you meet him.

[She sighs, trying to think of the best middle ground here.]

How about I have you both over to my place? Just tea. No whisky.

[facultative]

[Petulantly:] I don't like tea.

[demonicbeauty]

Anakin!

[When Ariadne has to be the adult in a conversation, something is going very wrong.]

That's not the point and you know it.

[facultative]

I don't see why I have to get along with a guy who's trying to take advantage of you just because you look like someone else.

[demonicbeauty]

[Boy, this Padme must be something really special... To get everyone all worked up like this.]

I'd like you to get along with him because he's my friend and you're also my friend.

[facultative]

You don't have to say that just because you remind me of someone.

[Guess how many friends he has.]

[demonicbeauty]

[That one actually kind of hurts.]

...I didn't.