Anna Amarande (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hauntedsavior) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deernet2021-11-15 09:04 pm
hauntedsavior) wrote in deernet2021-11-15 09:04 pm
002 // text; username: grollschwert
cw: chronic illness, ruminations on death
Fun one for you tonight.
[this message comes in the middle of the night, when no one in their right mind should be awake. but that's never stopped anna. she can't sleep, and if flynn and ruby and everybody are right then she has to at least try not to keep this stuff inside her at all times. sorrow's silence we needn't bear, or whatever.]
You know a girl. Her body is breaking down and her meds are failing her.
She has years left. Maybe months, if it gets worse.
But something happens, and she gets access to amazing new technology. Things that prevent her body from attacking itself.
Things that stop her timer from ticking faster than everyone else's.
Great, right?
You get to know her better. You entertain her little crush on you. Maybe you like her back a little and maybe things aren't gonna be so bad.
But one day, you do something.
Something that sets off a chain of events that you couldn't have predicted. Not in a million years.
Small things collide into medium things collide into big huge massive things.
And after the butterfly version of you is done flapping its wings, she doesn't have access to that technology anymore.
She's back on the timer.
She doesn't know you did anything.
She never finds out.
You can't bring yourself to tell her, and she wouldn't believe it if you did.
She barely recognizes you anymore, by the end of it.
Her family finds your name on her phone and invites you to pay respects.
Do you still go to her funeral?
Did you kill her?
Fun one for you tonight.
[this message comes in the middle of the night, when no one in their right mind should be awake. but that's never stopped anna. she can't sleep, and if flynn and ruby and everybody are right then she has to at least try not to keep this stuff inside her at all times. sorrow's silence we needn't bear, or whatever.]
You know a girl. Her body is breaking down and her meds are failing her.
She has years left. Maybe months, if it gets worse.
But something happens, and she gets access to amazing new technology. Things that prevent her body from attacking itself.
Things that stop her timer from ticking faster than everyone else's.
Great, right?
You get to know her better. You entertain her little crush on you. Maybe you like her back a little and maybe things aren't gonna be so bad.
But one day, you do something.
Something that sets off a chain of events that you couldn't have predicted. Not in a million years.
Small things collide into medium things collide into big huge massive things.
And after the butterfly version of you is done flapping its wings, she doesn't have access to that technology anymore.
She's back on the timer.
She doesn't know you did anything.
She never finds out.
You can't bring yourself to tell her, and she wouldn't believe it if you did.
She barely recognizes you anymore, by the end of it.
Her family finds your name on her phone and invites you to pay respects.
Do you still go to her funeral?
Did you kill her?
no subject
Yeah. Yeah, I'd go. If that's what they wanted.
It's what I would want. My friends there.
no subject
When I did go, I mean.
Maybe there was part of her soul that still remembered me.
If you believe in that kind of thing, I mean.
no subject
Hey, I was in the dream world before this one. I'll believe in just about anything.
It's entirely possible.
no subject
Even the idea of disappearing from someone's life but still being there in memory somehow.
We were definitely a little more than friends. So maybe being there was the right move after all.
Despite... everything else.
no subject
Were you there? I kind of fell behind checking the network for new faces towards the end.
I'd
Yeah, I'd think so.
I think you did the right thing.
no subject
I've just talked to enough Sleepers to get an idea of what it was like.
Complicated, with a lot of blood.
Not like things were so different in Recolle... less gore, more psych horror.
Which, hey.
You might be able to tell.
From all of this shit.
no subject
[That's the only place he's heard of people coming from before. A place in France, with sign language.]
For what it's worth, you weren't missing anything where Deerington is concerned. It
There's a reason a lot of people will call it the Nightmare.
no subject
Eastern seaboard of the States. Think Boston, NYC, that area.
I've heard, yeah.
It sounds like Trench just has more gods and more family problems to deal with instead.
So did you guys ever really leave?
(That's a joke, in case that's accidentally too dark.)
no subject
I don't actually know the answer.
To if we left, or if it's too dark. We've only been awake here a few months now.
no subject
Apparently that's not something people expect, since I wasn't one of the Dreamers.
Probably an advantage, though.
Means I have all this time early on to take care of my own stupid bullshit,
So when everything hits the fan, I can focus on keeping Trench safe.
no subject
Well - if you ever need any information on what happened back there feel free to ask.
We still might run into similar situations.
no subject
I talked with one guy who was like.
"Oh, it's weird that we don't have any massive waves of blood and murder this time!"
Were you guys, like, okay in Deerington?
I know you weren't, but were you?
no subject
[PSPSPS.txt]
And
No I'm pretty sure we were not okay. Not even once.
no subject
Thanks for passing it along.
Think it'll have to wait until I'm post my current crisis, but good to know something hasn't been lost to the passage of time, at least.
[haha. she's got jokes.]
Damn. Guess this makes me the sole lorekeeper of Recolle.
Maybe I can write some shit out about them sometime.
You know, in case it ever becomes relevant here. (It won't.)
no subject
Hey, you never know. Anyone's experiences could be helpful here. Especially if they were in another world before coming.
no subject
[keep lying, anna. keep lying on the post where you're having an active breakdown about your dead friend.]
Already know the feeling of getting new garbage every month.
The squids are new, but if that's how we roll in then I guess that's where I'm going.
If I start seeing the gods cribbing ideas from Retrospec, I'll be the first to sound the alarm.
'Cause I don't think any of us want to have our histories rewritten without us even knowing about it.
no subject
[Maybe she's being truthful! That would be great if someone were rolling easily with the punches here.]
Was that what was happening? Where you came from?
no subject
One time they took our entire concept of color away.
One time I met someone who shouldn't have existed on the banks of a river in a replica theme park owned by a fake version of the company that ran the place.
There was a castle maze, a mysterious cabin in the woods, soul experimentation...
One time I walked through different layers of reality.
Recolle was a lot.
no subject
I don't know how to say this without it coming out wrong but
You'll probably do just fine here.
no subject
Good to know.
Let's hope that doesn't challenge anyone to up the stakes all at once.
no subject
Fingers crossed on that one.