002 // text; username: grollschwert

[hauntedsavior]

cw: chronic illness, ruminations on death

Fun one for you tonight.

[this message comes in the middle of the night, when no one in their right mind should be awake. but that's never stopped anna. she can't sleep, and if flynn and ruby and everybody are right then she has to at least try not to keep this stuff inside her at all times. sorrow's silence we needn't bear, or whatever.]

You know a girl. Her body is breaking down and her meds are failing her.
She has years left. Maybe months, if it gets worse.
But something happens, and she gets access to amazing new technology. Things that prevent her body from attacking itself.
Things that stop her timer from ticking faster than everyone else's.
Great, right?
You get to know her better. You entertain her little crush on you. Maybe you like her back a little and maybe things aren't gonna be so bad.

But one day, you do something.
Something that sets off a chain of events that you couldn't have predicted. Not in a million years.
Small things collide into medium things collide into big huge massive things.
And after the butterfly version of you is done flapping its wings, she doesn't have access to that technology anymore.
She's back on the timer.

She doesn't know you did anything.
She never finds out.
You can't bring yourself to tell her, and she wouldn't believe it if you did.

She barely recognizes you anymore, by the end of it.
Her family finds your name on her phone and invites you to pay respects.

Do you still go to her funeral?

Did you kill her?

Comments

[foolintherain]

That's understandable.

[ Castiel was never one to keep tangible souvenirs, not because of the memories associated with them, but because the majority of them would rot away and be gone long before he was. To be given a gift, though... Well, the feelings related to the subject are complicated. He understands that much, and her reason for not wanting a photograph of someone she's lost is as valid as any.

There is something she wants from her home universe, though. Or rather, someone. ]

Maybe Cloverfield is capable of retrieving something other than pictures.

[hauntedsavior]

God. Maybe.
Would be cool if he could. He is a god here, after all.

[it's. a thought. it wouldn't even have to be the real rose geteilt. as long as she has the chance to say goodbye in person, to her face. by then, she might be ready to do it.]

Maybe the mysterious ways will make something like that happen.
Stuff like this always seems to take us by surprise, doesn't it?
Just when we think we've got it all figured out.

[foolintherain]

Yes, this world, and the last, are full of surprises.
In my experience, they've rarely been the good kind.
Still, thank you for sharing your story. I hope Cloverfield is able to surprise you in a less than permanently traumatizing way.

[hauntedsavior]

Good or bad, they keep me on my toes.
If I can't get a handle on what's happening, I can't settle down enough to make posts like this.

[of course, given how much this one helped her, maybe that's explicitly a bad thing.]

Same to you, Thursday.
Gonna pretend you're a college schedule and call you R for short.

[foolintherain]

[ At least she managed it this time, which is more than many people in Deer Country can say. ]

It's Castiel.
I imagine Grudge Sword isn't your real name, either?

[hauntedsavior]

Ha, yeah. Forgot I made it that.
It's Anna.
Nice running into you, Cas. Thanks for checking in.

[foolintherain]

[ Not the Anna he knows, surely, but Castiel still mentally backtracks through the conversation. ...No, he's sure it isn't. Castiel feels briefly relieved, then guilty for that feeling. He tries to put it out of mind. ]

Good to meet you, Anna.
Take care.

[ He's glad that she's found peace, and will certainly check in the future to see whether she's managed to maintain it. He hopes her future is kinder. ]