002 // text; username: grollschwert

[hauntedsavior]

cw: chronic illness, ruminations on death

Fun one for you tonight.

[this message comes in the middle of the night, when no one in their right mind should be awake. but that's never stopped anna. she can't sleep, and if flynn and ruby and everybody are right then she has to at least try not to keep this stuff inside her at all times. sorrow's silence we needn't bear, or whatever.]

You know a girl. Her body is breaking down and her meds are failing her.
She has years left. Maybe months, if it gets worse.
But something happens, and she gets access to amazing new technology. Things that prevent her body from attacking itself.
Things that stop her timer from ticking faster than everyone else's.
Great, right?
You get to know her better. You entertain her little crush on you. Maybe you like her back a little and maybe things aren't gonna be so bad.

But one day, you do something.
Something that sets off a chain of events that you couldn't have predicted. Not in a million years.
Small things collide into medium things collide into big huge massive things.
And after the butterfly version of you is done flapping its wings, she doesn't have access to that technology anymore.
She's back on the timer.

She doesn't know you did anything.
She never finds out.
You can't bring yourself to tell her, and she wouldn't believe it if you did.

She barely recognizes you anymore, by the end of it.
Her family finds your name on her phone and invites you to pay respects.

Do you still go to her funeral?

Did you kill her?

Comments

[unsheathedfromreality]

[He doesn't laugh at her realization; that would come across as unkind, however he meant it. But there is a hint of a smile in his voice as he replies,]

This is what an outside perspective is for, no? To see what is inside you that you are too close to recognize.

There is no shame in this. If we were meant to be perfect and all-knowing in ourselves, Generation would not have thought up more than one of us.

[hauntedsavior]

Yeah... yeah. God. [if he won't laugh, she will, dry and breathy and tired.]

Don't know how many times I'm gonna need to hear that I shouldn't be doing all this alone before it sticks. But thanks. Just for, like. God. [she doesn't even know how to say this.] Helping me realize all of this stuff, one after another, constantly. It's like getting in the ring with a heavyweight and just getting the shit kicked out of me.

[and hopefully her smile comes through in her voice.] But in a good way.

[unsheathedfromreality]

[That description does get him to laugh with her, because it is familiar even in slightly different words.] Then it seems I am being a credit to my teachers, who have pummeled me often enough this way. A good way, yes, but bruising.

You are welcome. Your thoughts are quiet enough you might rest, now?

[hauntedsavior]

I don't think I'm getting back to sleep anytime soon, but my thoughts are definitely a lot quieter, yeah.

[it would be a shame if she got out of this without at least sharing her name and getting his in turn. he could be a pretty good friend, she thinks.]

Thanks for talking me through it. My name's Anna, just, like, by the way. I think I'm the only one around here.

[unsheathedfromreality]

I am glad of that much. [He'd lived too often in the center of one of those self-cannibalizing feeding frenzies to wish it on anyone else, for any amount of time.]

Well met, Anna. You are very welcome for the help.

And my people--we do not burden others with our names, when first we meet. But if there is something you wish to call me, I will answer to this.

[hauntedsavior]

[yeah, the extreme cultural differences sound about right. she smiles on her end; she won't press.]

I'll just call you omni user givemeyourown for now. Thanks, dude. Hopefully we run into each other again when I'm not a mess.

[unsheathedfromreality]

[He set himself up for that one, didn't he. Though it's certainly not the weirdest nickname he's ever acquired.

He's smiling, too, when he replies.]

This is my hope as well. Until then, may your stars watch over you. Or the Moon Presence, as suits her.

[Even if they don't manage to meet up in the time intervening, she's definitely getting some gifts at the end of the year.]