video; un: dovahkiin (backdated to early Nov)

[fusrodaaaah]

Um.

[Wow, it's a rare show of video from Melius. The Argonian is sitting on the beach, in the cold, at his little tent. A lizard, in the cold. But he doesn't seem at all bothered by it.]

[He shifts where he sits, and then just. Straight up thrusts a basket of mushrooms at the camera.]

I was - I was um. [He ducks his head, hiding behind the basket.]

I know mushrooms! Really well! I um - if you need! To know! I can - I can tell you!

Goodbye!

[He shuts it off, right there.]

[... basically, Melius is offering his services as a mushroom expert. With a lot more anxious yelling than necessary.]

Comments

[fusrodaaaah]

Oh. I um. I don't... work with chemicals.

Is it - is it hard?

[droptheious]

Nah, it's not hard at all. And chemicals are just the same as alchemy- it's just the stuff you'd normally used stripped down to their most basic elements.

[fusrodaaaah]

That... that sounds hard.

[Elements mean things like fire and frost right?]

[kingoftherats]

Aw, they look like pasta noodles. That's so cool.

Do they make you see shit, or what? Can you still feel your face after you eat 'em or sniff 'em or whatever?

[fusrodaaaah]

... Yes?

[Why would you eat poisoned mushrooms, Charlie, you're a human.]

They um. They taste good? You could. Probably make them into noodles.

[possessum]

( Peter gives a soft sigh, slowly shaking his head empathetically. There's a solidarity there; he feels you. Screaming, shouting....... He can't accidentally make lightning come down, but he does know how to cry uncontrollably whilst curled into a ball on the floor. )

Oh— you're an alchemist? That's really cool. ( Like Varian? Peter's still not entirely sure what alchemists do but he knows it has to do with... science? And mixing chemicals and stuff. )

My friend said you can make mushrooms taste like meat and stuff if you cook them right, so I was thinking I might try to make like.... a mushroom hamburger or something, you know? Do you know which type I could use for that....?

( Meeting someone who's a Mushroom Expert.... this could be a true blessing? )

[droptheious]

Aww, come on, Meli. You can do alchemy, too. You'd be able to figure it out no problem!

[fusrodaaaah]

N... No.

No, I um. I know plants. And mushrooms. Not um. Not elements. You... you can't taste them.

[fusrodaaaah]

[Oh, crying uncontrollably on the floor is the best. 10/10, would recommend. Except when it makes people ask if you're okay, and you have no idea how to answer that question.]

Y-yes, I um. I am. It's. It's a family... thing. [It's not all that cool he just tastes ridiculous things and makes potions.]

O-oh! Yes. Yes, you can. Um - hold on.

[So he ducks off screen for a minute. Rummaging around until he finds what he's looking for, and holds up a big clump of mushroom.] Sulfur shelves! They - they taste like chicken.

[A beat.]

They really do.

[droptheious]

But Meli! [This is important, this is so important, he's so excited.] Everything is elements. Elements make up our entire world!

Like water? That's- that's just two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. Put them together and BAM! You've got water!

[fusrodaaaah]

[He just. Stares. He knows this is important. Varian is so excited, so delighted - it must be important. But these words??]

[These words make no sense.]

... um. I don't... I don't know. What any of that means...

[droptheious]

It's okay! I can show you sometime. I'm sure you'll get it. You just look at it a different way than I do.

[The concept that maybe Melius is HAPPY looking at it a different way does not occur to him.]

[fusrodaaaah]

I... don't know.

[Listen, buddy, he knows plants. He knows nature. In the most basic senses of things. Molecules and chemical components sound more mystical than anything out of the Mages' College.]

[Besides...] You um. You're. Smart. S-so it must... make sense to you.

[droptheious]

You're smart, Melius. You're really smart. I'm sure you could do it.

[Sorry, Meli, he has endless faith in you, how does that feel? But he does, at least, relent. He knows better than to push too hard with his friend.]

But okay, okay. I'll let it go.

[fusrodaaaah]

[His answer is a weird... grumbling noise. Half embarrassed, half uncertain. Like he's trying to make actual words come out, but they refuse. No, he doesn't think so.]

O... okay. Um. Do you... want mushrooms...?

[NAILED IT.]

[droptheious]

[HE'S DOING HIS BEST.]

...Yeah, okay Buddy. I'll come to get some mushrooms from you.

[fusrodaaaah]

Okay!

[Well now he perks up. Immediately, even. And dives for his collection, pulling out a few large hunks of fungi.]

There um. There are puffballs. And... and sulfur shelves.

[droptheious]

[Bless Melius and his everything. Varian's smile softens at his friend's sheer excitement ]

Ooooh, I'd love some of the sulfur shelves, and some puffballs too!

[possessum]

( Peter waits as the other moves off for a moment, before returning and showing him the mushrooms. He gapes, looking both impressed that the guy had these somewhere close enough on hand, and also awed to hear they taste like chicken???

It's been really, really hard being here with no normal food. At least Deerington had like a diner and pizza place, and the Hart Mart also sold a lot of snacks Peter recognised from back home. But in Trench....? Finding food that tastes normal has been impossible.

But if there's mushrooms that taste like chicken?? Maybe he'll stop whining about missing Chick-fil-A now. )

Oh my god..... that's wild.... Could I like, pay you for some of those?

( Peter fishes through his hoodie pockets to hold up some solid golden coins, which he shows to his video feed.... Money may not have real worth here, but the locals seem to really covet shiny things, and his Demon Gold has served him well so far when it comes to bartering. )

[fusrodaaaah]

Right! Okay.

[He pulls out a clump of Hen of the Woods. And then... an enormous puffball mushroom. It's probably the size of Varian's head.]

You um - you can use them as flat bread. Just... cut it bread-shaped. And cook it.

Cook both of them. Very well.

[fusrodaaaah]

Pay...?

[That sound is the sound of the concept of someone paying him for mushrooms flying over his head. Yes, he knows people grow and sell food all the time. But him? He just found them. He didn't do any work growing them.]

You um. You don't. Need to do that. They don't use septims here.

[Yes, because any gold coin is the kind from his world, right? But it's the first he's really seen of coins like that since he woke up in Deerington. It's kind of nice to see again.]

I can - I can just. Bring you some.

[droptheious]

[Holy shit that is a big-ass mushroom. ]

Really? That's pretty cool! Especially when bread is harder to get. How does it taste?

[fusrodaaaah]

They um... don't... really have a taste? So uh. You can kind of... make them taste like anything?

[Like tofu. You know, if tofu existed in Tamriel.]

[droptheious]

Oh, so you can add flavour to them? Like...spices?

[God it's so sad he has no idea what tofu is.]

[fusrodaaaah]

Y-yes. Or um. Use them like.


Bread.