video; un: dovahkiin (backdated to early Nov)

[fusrodaaaah]

Um.

[Wow, it's a rare show of video from Melius. The Argonian is sitting on the beach, in the cold, at his little tent. A lizard, in the cold. But he doesn't seem at all bothered by it.]

[He shifts where he sits, and then just. Straight up thrusts a basket of mushrooms at the camera.]

I was - I was um. [He ducks his head, hiding behind the basket.]

I know mushrooms! Really well! I um - if you need! To know! I can - I can tell you!

Goodbye!

[He shuts it off, right there.]

[... basically, Melius is offering his services as a mushroom expert. With a lot more anxious yelling than necessary.]

Comments

[fusrodaaaah]

N... No.

No, I um. I know plants. And mushrooms. Not um. Not elements. You... you can't taste them.

[droptheious]

But Meli! [This is important, this is so important, he's so excited.] Everything is elements. Elements make up our entire world!

Like water? That's- that's just two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. Put them together and BAM! You've got water!

[fusrodaaaah]

[He just. Stares. He knows this is important. Varian is so excited, so delighted - it must be important. But these words??]

[These words make no sense.]

... um. I don't... I don't know. What any of that means...

[droptheious]

It's okay! I can show you sometime. I'm sure you'll get it. You just look at it a different way than I do.

[The concept that maybe Melius is HAPPY looking at it a different way does not occur to him.]

[fusrodaaaah]

I... don't know.

[Listen, buddy, he knows plants. He knows nature. In the most basic senses of things. Molecules and chemical components sound more mystical than anything out of the Mages' College.]

[Besides...] You um. You're. Smart. S-so it must... make sense to you.

[droptheious]

You're smart, Melius. You're really smart. I'm sure you could do it.

[Sorry, Meli, he has endless faith in you, how does that feel? But he does, at least, relent. He knows better than to push too hard with his friend.]

But okay, okay. I'll let it go.

[fusrodaaaah]

[His answer is a weird... grumbling noise. Half embarrassed, half uncertain. Like he's trying to make actual words come out, but they refuse. No, he doesn't think so.]

O... okay. Um. Do you... want mushrooms...?

[NAILED IT.]

[droptheious]

[HE'S DOING HIS BEST.]

...Yeah, okay Buddy. I'll come to get some mushrooms from you.

[fusrodaaaah]

Okay!

[Well now he perks up. Immediately, even. And dives for his collection, pulling out a few large hunks of fungi.]

There um. There are puffballs. And... and sulfur shelves.

[droptheious]

[Bless Melius and his everything. Varian's smile softens at his friend's sheer excitement ]

Ooooh, I'd love some of the sulfur shelves, and some puffballs too!

[fusrodaaaah]

Right! Okay.

[He pulls out a clump of Hen of the Woods. And then... an enormous puffball mushroom. It's probably the size of Varian's head.]

You um - you can use them as flat bread. Just... cut it bread-shaped. And cook it.

Cook both of them. Very well.

[droptheious]

[Holy shit that is a big-ass mushroom. ]

Really? That's pretty cool! Especially when bread is harder to get. How does it taste?

[fusrodaaaah]

They um... don't... really have a taste? So uh. You can kind of... make them taste like anything?

[Like tofu. You know, if tofu existed in Tamriel.]

[droptheious]

Oh, so you can add flavour to them? Like...spices?

[God it's so sad he has no idea what tofu is.]

[fusrodaaaah]

Y-yes. Or um. Use them like.


Bread.

[droptheious]

Oh.

Huh, I guess that makes sense? Maybe they can be like the tacos Shiro talked about. They're kinda like pockets, right?

[fusrodaaaah]

[ ... Record skip.]

Tacos?

[droptheious]

Yeah!

[He learned a brand new thing and now he gets to teach Melius The Thing too!]

They're like sandwiches, apparently, but also pockets?

[fusrodaaaah]

[Melius looks at the mushroom. Then at Varian. And then back to the mushroom.]

Varian it... doesn't have pockets.

[droptheious]

I...I mean I guess not, but you can put a filling in it, right? Like...like it's a pocket?

[What is this madness.]

[fusrodaaaah]

I... guess?

I guess you could do that?

[droptheious]

I guess so? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me either, I didn't really get the concept.

[fusrodaaaah]

I... hm.

That. Sounds like a pie. A - a hand pie.

[droptheious]

Yeah, I really couldn't picture it at all. I should see if anyone here knows how to cook one? I think that's the only way I'd be able to visualise one.

[fusrodaaaah]

Oh! Oh yes. Yes, you should!

I'd try one.