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un: eudaimonikos; video

[Well, this is Michael's username, for sure. He seems to be looking rather different, though. Still dressed the same despite it!]

Hey, this is Michael. Just curious - is this a thing that's happening now? Are we all doing this?

Don't get me wrong, it's not a huge deal. I honestly never liked all the weird dangly bits. Not sure about the hair... [He runs a hand through it, holding it briefly up against his head; does he want it short again, or is this good?] ...but I can cut that. Guess now I have to get used to everyone calling me "she", too...

[That one, he sounds mildly irritated by. It's not the word itself, necessarily, it just took him long enough to get used to answering to the first one. Why do humans have to change their language rules every two seconds? But, he's using their language and that's how it works. His usual body was the only reason he ended up being "he", so...well, he'll just have to manage.]

Except the locals, maybe. Why do they call everyone "they", anyway? What is that? [Seems rhetorical, though; he flaps his hands dismissively.] Well, anyway. If anyone else is suddenly changing size or shape, and your wardrobe isn't working anymore, let me know and I'll just run off some new clothes for you for free. Might as well make these things a little bit easier, right?

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[Michael listens intently, fingers steepled. His entire concept of gender came from humanity in the first place, so yeah - if a human says they're one or the other, he doesn't know that it's any of his business to gainsay them. It's their thing. Mostly, he didn't realize that it had definitions beyond the physical.]

Okay. Well...I like dressing the way I do. The looks...I mean, give it a couple hundred years, I'd get used to it. I don't think I've ever had a form I immediately loved.

[A long, long time ago, he was perfectly comfortable with his original shape. Before he learned that he ought not to be. Now, he can't bring himself to feel positive about that anymore, and yet everything else has been wrong, too. Lava monsters are bulky, bat things are clumsy, all the bug shapes he's ever had came with exoskeletons. He's the happiest he's ever been with his trusty old human body; he's grown fond of it by now. But he hated that at first, too.]

I had my male body long enough that I found things I did like about it. And it's the face all my friends know me by. It's sentimental, I guess. [.....] But I mean, really, I'm a demon. Gender's a thing humans made up, we never had that before. But since we use human shapes, you know, it just came with the territory.

[Or he...thought it did???]

[ Orpheus nods, giving a quick mhmm! of understanding. ]

There are women who like to wear suits too, though! [ he says, definitely helping. ] I guess it would be different, for you, since you're not human and you look like one now because it's a form you've taken on. I mean, maybe you're still not either, even if you're shaped like one or the other? A man or a woman, I mean, if you don't feel strongly either way.

Oh - well, without the skinsuit, of course not.

[That's never really been in question for him! He'd never really questioned that being in the skinsuit meant something else, too, although now...]

But that's just...you know, I'm sort of just a formless blob of...spirit stuff. Without it. [okay this shiftiness is actually about a whole different thing]

Oh, yes, of course. But I mean, why do any of the parts of being a man or a woman that you don't like, if that's true? If our bodies aren't what makes us what we are, at least in terms of being a 'he' or a 'she,' then why would having a human body alone do that for you?

Oh, um, I don't want to make assumptions? But maybe think about what parts you do because you like them, and what parts you do because you feel like you're supposed to. I found that really helpful, when I was thinking about things.

Edited (clarity, flow, etc) 2022-01-08 10:11 (UTC)

I'm...not sure.

[Does he do anything just because he's a "man", and not because he wants to? He wasn't exactly planning on changing too much about his behavior now that he's not.

...does he want people not to think of him as a man? It doesn't bother him, exactly. But when you put it like that, that it's not something defined by the body he's wearing, it's also just inaccurate.]

But that's interesting. Thanks for telling me about that.

Right! It's an interesting thing to think about? I didn't decide to do much differently, after I thought about it myself, but I still appreciate my friend teaching me about it.

[ He smiles, beaming for a moment before something occurs to him. ]

Oh! But you were asking about clothes! I don't think I need any new ones right now, but if that changes I'll keep you in mind!

Oh...oh, yeah! Yeah, alright. I know these are probably not going to be long-term, so I figured - easy enough for me to just copy clothes you already have in a different size. That's what I did; I'm the same height, but the proportions are different.

[ Orpheus nods in understanding. ]

I think I overheard someone say that these changes could last a while, sometimes? Not usually, though. Apparently it varies a lot, but either way it's really nice of you to help out like this!

Yeah, sure. Shifts in form are weird for me, and I've at least done it before. Like I said, might as well make a part of it a little easier, if I can.

Right! And, clothes aren't really the first thing I'd think of, if I changed suddenly? But they are kind of important, especially in this weather.

[ And Orpheus does think, briefly, of Sam Winchester's insistence that all demons are selfish, and just waiting for a chance to collect on their favors, but he still doesn't believe that for a second. This kind of small kindness just seems too - well, kind to be anything but genuine. ]

Oh - yeah, it's cold, isn't it.

[Hadn't even thought of it like that! Michael's mostly just Very Particular and would have absolutely been bothered about his suits being too tight in some places and too baggy in others for days on end.]

I mean, I know that it is, but I don't really feel it the way humans do. Is it, like...very cold...?

It's not as cold as it could be! [ he says, brightly. His standards for acceptable weather are... a little warped, though. ] It'd be bad to go out without a few layers on for more than a couple minutes, for most of us, I think? So it's still good to offer something like this. But it's not so bad that anyone's going to have to worry about frostbite just from walking around.

Ah. Well, that's good.

[He's just been gauging it based on what he sees other people wearing. Pretty sure they don't all get cold at the same rates, though?]

I don't really feel heat either, but this doesn't look like a place that's going to get super hot anyway. Because it's by the ocean?

Is that how it works? I've never lived near the ocean before. I've been there once! But that was to the south, during the summer, so it was pretty hot anyway. Would it have been even hotter if the sea wasn't there?

I think so? I've seen them, too, but never for all that long. But beaches are hot, right?

[Michael is potentially not a great source for facts about Earth and its weather.]

[ And Orpheus lived his entire life in the midst of an ecological crisis, so for better or worse they may be on sort of even footing here. ]

Right, or at least the one I've been to was? I thought maybe it's because sand absorbs heat and then gives it off really well, because the desert's hot too, at least when it's not winter. You think the water being there makes it cooler, though?

The wind from that way's always pretty cool.

[But like, that could mean anything? Michael considers, then shrugs.]

To be honest, I don't have that much experience with weather I didn't create myself.

[ Orpheus just nods. Weather is strange! He's never really put that much thought into it. ]

I guess we'll find out what summer is like here when it comes. [ he concludes. ] It still feels a little strange, to think we might be here that long, or probably even longer. The dream always kind of felt like it could end at any time? And I guess here we could be called back to the sea, but. It feels more permanent, this place.

Feels more long-term, anyway. It's weird...

[Old as he is, Michael has trouble considering most things to be truly permanent.]

The calling back to the sea thing is weird too, don't get me wrong. I really don't care for that.

I don't like it either. The way I understand people talk about it? It's not going back, like waking up from the dream could be. You're just... out there. Waiting to either come back to shore or not.

[ And he worries a lot about what could happen, if either he or Eurydice were called without the other. What would they do? There's no way to stop it, from what he's found. If you feel the pull, you have to go. ]

...I don't like the idea that something could just make you want that.

[It's a bit of a begrudging admission. Michael still doesn't always like to admit his darker fears like that. But he's always bothered most by the things here that mess with the mind. He doesn't want to leave his friends to go float around in some shitty ocean! What would it do to him, change in him, to make him decide otherwise?]

[ Orpheus just nods solemnly, worrying his lip. ]

When I made the choice to come here, after going back home for a while, it was - I didn't want to leave, but I felt like I had to. Everything felt wrong. It's hard to describe, but it was awful. Like trying to listen to a conversation from underwater, except with everything - touch, smell, taste. And I'm worried that's what being called back to the sea might be like. Just... everything becoming too much to bear.

...huh. It wasn't like that for me, exactly.

That's disturbing? Honestly?

I mean, I didn't want to leave, either. I knew I had to, but that was more...I could tell the pull was starting to affect the universe we were in, and I couldn't risk the Good Place's stability. Not after everything we went through to make sure everyone was safe.

[ Orpheus nods in agreement, grimacing. It was very disturbing! ]

I guess maybe it's different for different people? I don't think I would be able to sense if something was pulling on the universe, but I could definitely feel, uh, that.

[ And he's pretty sure anything short of the increasing dread that he was going to fall sideways out of reality wouldn't have stopped him from trying to stay and find Eurydice, so, there's that to consider. Could be it just tailors to exactly the push you need, and isn't that a scary thought. ]

Hm. Maybe it would've gotten worse if I'd stuck around.

[He just couldn't bear waiting to see what might happen. What if a human got sucked into the cracks or something?]

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themuseabandonsyou - 2022-01-22 06:01 (UTC) - Expand

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