Deer Country Network

[Well, this is Michael's username, for sure. He seems to be looking rather different, though. Still dressed the same despite it!]

Hey, this is Michael. Just curious - is this a thing that's happening now? Are we all doing this?

Don't get me wrong, it's not a huge deal. I honestly never liked all the weird dangly bits. Not sure about the hair... [He runs a hand through it, holding it briefly up against his head; does he want it short again, or is this good?] ...but I can cut that. Guess now I have to get used to everyone calling me "she", too...

[That one, he sounds mildly irritated by. It's not the word itself, necessarily, it just took him long enough to get used to answering to the first one. Why do humans have to change their language rules every two seconds? But, he's using their language and that's how it works. His usual body was the only reason he ended up being "he", so...well, he'll just have to manage.]

Except the locals, maybe. Why do they call everyone "they", anyway? What is that? [Seems rhetorical, though; he flaps his hands dismissively.] Well, anyway. If anyone else is suddenly changing size or shape, and your wardrobe isn't working anymore, let me know and I'll just run off some new clothes for you for free. Might as well make these things a little bit easier, right?

HELLO FELLOW SLEEPERS. I WOULD LIKE TO PUBLICALLY OFFER MY SINCERE CONDOLENCES FOR THE TRICKSTER VIRUS I IMPLEMENTED LAST MONTH. A THEORY OF MINE GOT OUT OF HAND AND PEOPLE HAD TO SUFFER FOR IT WHICH IS 100% MY BAD. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD LEADER AND INSTEAD, I FAILED YOU ALL. AS PER FUCKING USUAL.

(Karkat. Holy shit. No one thinks you're their leader. Again.)

PAST ME IS ARGUABLY THE MOST WORTHLESS, IDIOTIC TROLL TO HAVE EVER EXISTED IN ANY TIMELINE OR REALITY. TRULY, HE PROBABLY HUFFS CEILING CHIPS TO PUT TOGETHER BASIC SOLUTIONS. THAT GUY IS SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE PIECE OF SHIT SO I FULLY SUPPORT YOUR (PLATONIC) HATRED OF HIM. HE'S AN ASSHOLE.

TO BE HONEST, I WOULD SUPPORT YOUR HATRED OF CURRENT ME TOO. YOUR FEELINGS OF HATE ARE COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF ME ROYALLY FUCKING SHIT UP FOR SOME PEOPLE. AGAIN, MY BAD.

I WOULDN'T EVEN JUDGE YOU FOR HATING FUTURE ME EITHER.


...


ANYWAY. NOW I HAVE TO EXTRAPOLATE A VERY CRUCIAL POINT: IF YOU CLICK ON A LINK SOME RANDO SENT YOU ON THE INTERNET, YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON. YOU ARE THE DOWNFALL OF YOUR OWN SPECIES AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY FEEL LIKE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN IDIOTSVILLE. CONGRATULATIONS, DICKBAG, I HAVE CRAFTED A DUNCE CROWN SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU. YOU ARE NOW THE MAYOR OF MORONS. DOES IT FEEL SPECIAL TO BE SO STUPID? DO YOU FEEL CONTENT IN YOUR ABYSMAL DEN OF DERELICT THINK FUNCTIONS?

I BET YOU DO, YOU GODDAMN PROTOZOIC ORGANISM. YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN MOTHERFUCKING PWNED BY THE MOST BASIC VIRUS SPREAD EVER AND IF YOU ARE EMBARRASSED, I WANT TO OFFER YOU A FIRM CLAP ON THE SHOULDER. YOU SHOULD FEEL EMBARRASSED.

BITCH.

(--Yeah, okay. Just ignore him. As he said, he gives you full permission to hate current and future him too. Starting now.)

I'm running a few experiments on the properties of Sleeper Blood. I haven't been able to achieve much with my own so far.

If anyone other than a Warmblood is willing to donate a small vial, reach out to me and we can talk.

Though I wouldn't be opposed to having more of this red blood in supply.

I suppose it is an understatement to say that it is quite an uprooting to be be reborn in another world; there are certainly marked differences between this world and my own.

But there are also striking similarities.

It certainly leaves one with a considerable amount of questions so I shall not dally;

In my wanderings I have stumbled across flora both familiar and quite alien - I would suspect some of it is native to this world? Back in my own I am an apothecary of sorts; I would be most appreciative if any other herbalists better acquainted with the plant life of this world would recommend texts on the matter.

I would be more inclined to simply experiment on my own, but there is the confounding matter of blood pollution. I am uncertain how it manifests in local vegetation, how to recognize it, and how to neutralize its effects when crafting medicine - if the latter is even possible. So again, I will ask for any recommended reading on the matter.

Furthermore, I come with an offer.

I am an apothecary, yes, but I am also a craftsman of incense - something it seems is of vital import in surviving the many oddities of Trench. Materials provided, I will happily offer my services in either role in exchange for food or shelter.