Deer Country Network

[Rose sits calmly on a boulder in the back yard, trees and flowers surrounding her already showing the signs of autumn. she looks more solemn than usual, but that's because she's been thinking things over carefully]

Even with...all of this [she waves a hand around as if encompassing all of Trench and its peculiarities] how many of us want to stay? Because we like it here better than home, because we don't have a home to go to, any reason really.

I'm curious.

This afternoon a handsome face is gracing the network. It's most likely new to, well, pretty much everyone, though perhaps you might have caught a glimpse of him wandering about town, occasionally asking questions but mostly just listening to the answers.

It's amazing what people will tell someone who's a good, attentive listener.

In any case, the new fellow gives the camera(?) a positively charming smile before speaking.

"Hello, greetings, salutations, and all that. My name is Oberon. Fairy King Oberon, if you like. A pleasure, I'm sure!"

A pleasure for whom? Never mind, he's still got more to say, apparently.

"Now that the pleasantries are dispensed with, I have an important piece of business to discuss. You see, it's come to my attention that I happen to possess a rare and valuable commodity, that many here would dearly like to get their hands on. The so-called 'virgin blood', to be precise!"

He pauses briefly to make sure everyone clearly heard and understood that bit.

"Now, rather than simply squandering it for my own sole benefit, I thought I might instead generously offer everyone the opportunity to acquire this precious resource by holding a teensy little open, public auction. All bids are considered, and bidders are welcome to pool their resources into a single bid, should they believe they can share in the spoils."

Is this guy serious? He seems to be totally serious about this.

"You may begin the bidding... now."

CW FOR MASS MURDER OF UNARMED CIVILIANS, RELIGIOUS FANATICISM, THEMES OF NIHILISM AND UNREALITY, GASLIGHTING, "MERCY KILLING", THREATENED HARM TO CHILDREN, CHARA IN GENERAL, MOTHER MERCY IN GENERAL

( SHOW NO MERCY. )

[The feed opens up to the front of a brick building with a sign hanging out the front that might look familiar to anyone that had been around in the dream.

A beat passes before Ruby Rose steps out in an old checkered suit looking very much like a used car salesman.]

Are you fed up with feeling defenseless during crazy judgement fueled rampages?
Tired of weird guys claiming to be god pissing off the local deities?
Sick of toddlers coming around and burning down your house?
Absolutely annoyed with the fact that your sword isn't also a gun!?
...Miffed about the usual monster related problems plaguing our world?

Well have I got a solution for you!

[Ruby whips out her massive scythe which she swings once before it folds up into it's rifle form. She cocks it and aims at the camera.]

Come on down to The Roses Thorns and solve your problems the good old fashioned way! With high powered weaponry!

I've been making weapons ever since I was baby- Or well maybe like eleven to thirteen to be more accurate. But that's pretty much baby. And I have a proven track record of making awesome weapons back in the dream just take a look for yourself!

[She steps inside the building revealing a very classy forge decorated with various weapons, and large cold blood gems of roses, butterflies and little dogs.

She approaches the table and picks up a guitar.]

Like this! Just a normal guitar, right? WRONG!

[She flips a switch on it and strums a note only for a burst of flame to shoot out from the guitar head.]

And just incase the fire doesn't do the trick, it also doubles as a spear!

[Don't mind her as she demonstrates the guitar turning into a spear. She twirls it around and accidentally knocks over a pile of other weapons. There's a light yelp as everything clatters but she's quick to go back into character.]

We've got tons of options and can make you the perfect weapon for you!

[She holds up a few examples including a circular shield that sprouts out into a Buzzsaw blade. A prosthetic arm with a gun in it's forearm. She stops briefly on a a cane and looks confused for quick second. ]

Huh, How did that get in there? That's Ozpin's- It's kind of lame and boring- but-

[And she gives it a twirl before pointing to the camera.]

Come on down to The Roses Thorns and check out our inventory or get prices on custom weapons!

Because if you aren't armed you're doing it wrong!

I wonder.

[In view was a rose bush, a pale hand cupping a rose of delicate blue, others yet to bloom and some still with their petals curled close within the shot. Moving then, downwards as fingertips brushed open petals of another.]

Does anyone have a particularly favorite color of rose?

[The one under Alice's touch slowly darkened in color, going from shades of blue to purple to pink-]

These have been coming along well.

[A project she'd taken up with Break, once things had settled between them and weren't so tender. A play with Darkblood abilities, and of course she'd taken to it like a duck to water. Of course it was a project she'd let take up a lot of her time, a distraction from things that had been going on.

A want of seeing beautiful flower gardens once upon a time not a terrible inspiration to sink time in to. A creative outlet.]

Whether the color has meaning to you or not, isn't it nice to see something you like? Perhaps thought you might never again, even something so small as a rose of a particular hue.

[ The video turns on and there is a sound like... bees? No, maybe something... vibrating? The video is dark. It's hard to tell. Then the video shifts, and the noise shifts with it, and then -- ]

Maurice, get off of that--

[ There's a belligerent meow, and then the video feed is abruptly filled with light as it's made apparent that a large cat that is clearly someone's Omen was laying on the video feed. A second later the entire scene is made more apparent: there's Akira (who you may recognize from a previous post that he guest starred in) peering down, holding the (large) cat in his arms. ]

Oh. [ He sets Maurice down. ] Go harass Akechi. [ Maurice, for his part, looks imperious in the way that only a cat can, and then walks out of view of the camera entirely. Akira reaches down... there's a very shaky camera for a moment before Akira seems to properly get ahold of his Omni that he left a little too carelessly where a cat could get it. ]

Hey, does anyone here cut hair? [ Now that you're looking-- if you're looking-- you can tell that Akira's hair has gotten... long. He's tied it back in a very messy, curly manbun, but it has the clear appearance of someone who has given up trying to look remotely put together and leaned hard into the 'crazed coffee hermit' look. ]

I, uh... can give you a good cup of coffee in exchange. Or some curry.

Also, does anyone know how to take care of frogs? Thanks.

cw: murder, firearms, blood, suicide imagery

[ The scene opens up to three people in an interrogation room: Akechi, Akira, and a uniformed police officer standing guard.

( Akechi steps into the room, calm and composed -  )

----
[ The scene fades away, revealing nothing more than a perfectly pedestrian home library, shown from the low angle of an Omen that assumes a smaller form. Akechi isn't in view, but his voice can be heard: ]

What was--

[ There's no answer, and the angle of the video feed doesn't change. After a long moment Akechi heaves a sigh, and the video finally cuts off. ]

Whatever you do, DO NOT eat the vanilla chocolates being passed out by the Chocolatier! I am serious, if you do, the results are dire and will be a catastrophe. Throw them away, destroy them, but don't eat them or give them to anyone else.

[That's it, just a few cryptic lines sent out anonymously. Maul's fucked it up good this time and he knows they're only going to snowball from here.]

Hey, are all the animals here just really big into stealing things? Is this a weird thing that no one warned me about? [ He sounds a little exasperated, a little out of breath, and extremely confused. ]

If anyone sees a deer with a pair of red and black plaid pants, please try to get them back for me. I'm running out of clothes to steal.