voice; un: joker

[stealhearted]

Hey, are all the animals here just really big into stealing things? Is this a weird thing that no one warned me about? [ He sounds a little exasperated, a little out of breath, and extremely confused. ]

If anyone sees a deer with a pair of red and black plaid pants, please try to get them back for me. I'm running out of clothes to steal.

Comments

voice; un: A.

[fabrications]

[ ........ ]

How have you managed to be robbed by two different animals in as many months?

[stealhearted]

I'm starting to think it might be karma.

[fabrications]

Maybe they can sense that you're an easy target.

[stealhearted]

Well... the laundry drying on the line was probably a pretty easy target...

Maybe I should make a trap around the laundry.

[fabrications]

Maybe you should get a drying rack to sue inside. It's too cold to be drying anything outside, anyway.

[stealhearted]

... huh. I guess if we put it on the tile it wouldn't be too messy.

Video | Clickclickbloom

[onekindsoul]

Seriously? A deer stole your pants!?

That's ridiculous!

[Hey Akira. Do the suspenders she's currently wearing look familiar. They should.]

[stealhearted]

I was going to hang them up to dry...

[ There's a beat, and then, very nonchalantly: ]

A bird stole my suspenders. I'm down half the clothes I got here with.

[onekindsoul]

Seriously? You didn't even get them out on the line? Does the villainy of these animals know no bounds?

[She gives a little shrug and then snaps her suspenders.]

That's weird. A little birdy gave me these suspenders for my birthday. It was like a little over a month ago?

[The point.




Ruby's head.]

[stealhearted]

[ Akira does not have the heart to take back his suspenders turned birthday present. It's fine. He does not, strictly speaking, need them. ]

They were still wet when they were stolen, so I tried to chase the deer down... Deer are really fast.

[ Which seems unfair, actually. ]

Happy late birthday.

Video; UN: Filledwithsunshine

[onebadapple]

Oh, dear! Animals are stealing from you! You poor thing! I would be more than happy to speak to my animal friends and see if we can get them back!

video;

[stealhearted]

That'd be great. [ Talking to animals is not nearly as weird as it should be to Akira, probably. ]

He was a deer about this high... [ He holds his hand up to... average deer height. ] He's probably the only deer with pants.

[ So he'll be easy to find! Right? ]

Video;

[onebadapple]

Did you hear that everyone?

[Snow White turns to look at the massive menagerie surrounding her.]

Until then, I'd be happy to sew you some more clothes!

[stealhearted]

[ Oh wow there's so many of them. Akira looks legitimately impressed. ]

You don't have to go to any trouble. I should probably buy a better winter outfit anyway... [ School pants are not going to hold up to snow. ]

[onebadapple]

Well, if you're sure. But everyone, we must keep an eye out for this deer! Faramund! [A MASSIVE stag came up beside her.] Faramund, you know where all the deer like to be, will you go and see if the one who stole-

Oh! I just realized, I never got your name! What is it?

[stealhearted]

[ Oh my god that deer could take out a city block with those antlers. ]

I'm Akira Kurusu. [ He offers a casual sort of smile. It's kind of weird doing first introductions over video. ]

I'm still pretty new here, so it's nice to meet you.

[onebadapple]

What a lovely name! Well, how do you do, Akira! My name is Snow White.

[She turned to look to her animal friends again.]

Now, everyone, we must help out Akira, alright? If you happen to see the deer that stole the clothes, do try to reason with him first, but if he really won't give them back, come tell me or Faramund.

[The stag nodded.] Faramund, you go and see if our little thief is among the herds, alright?

Don't worry, Akira, we'll find your clothes!

[stealhearted]

Thank you. It's nice to meet you.

[ A beat, and then: ]

Can you talk to all animals? Sorry if that's rude. I knew a talking cat back home, but he was a rarity.

[onebadapple]

Oh! It's not rude at all! Yes, I can speak to animals and they to me! They were my very first friends while growing up!

[stealhearted]

That's really cool. I'm glad the animals here are actually friendly, clothing theft aside.

[onebadapple]

Oh, animals are friendly everywhere! [Snow, no, no they're not.] They just needed to be treated with respect!

( video | un: duckling )

[danserai]

That's weird . . . have you been leaving food in your pants?

video;

[stealhearted]

No. But I do use a coffee ground scrub... do deer like coffee?

[danserai]

Maybe they just like the smell and think there's food nearby.

[stealhearted]

There's food in my house, but not in my pants...

[danserai]

It's probably just the smell? Something that sticks to clothes would do that.

[stealhearted]

Maybe I should wash them with a smell deer don't like? I don't know what deer dislike, though...

[danserai]

I think there are certain herbs you can use . . . like lavender and rosemary.

[stealhearted]

Rosemary might make it smell like food... Isn't lavender one of the calming ones? That could work.

[ He lives with some people who could use some calming herbs... ]

[danserai]

It is! And it should work well against deer.

video; un r.hansen

[lefthemisphere]

I think the important question is this - is the deer wearing the pants?

video;

[stealhearted]

Huh.

[ Akira sounds thoughtful. ]

He wasn't when he left, but maybe he just felt underdressed.

Re: video;

[lefthemisphere]

I mean, wouldn't you, in this mess? He's probably just tryna dess himself and be warm.

[stealhearted]

Isn't that what all their fur is for?

[lefthemisphere]

I mean sure, but it's cold cold outside. Not just nippy.

[stealhearted]

I thought I just wasn't used to the cold. [ But no, it's actually Quite Cold. ]

Everyone here seems to really like the deer. Maybe they should make coats for them.

voice; un: ushiromiya

[entreats]

If they're stealing your clothes this often, they must think you're an easy target.

[ Is this what Akira wanted to hear?

Probably not. But it is cold reality, isn't it. ]

[stealhearted]

Huh.

I guess I let the bird get away with it... Maybe word spread through the animal community. [ He sounds very thoughtful about this, actually. ]

[entreats]

.. it's not just a deer, but a bird too?

[ Ange thought it was at least just one species of animals stealing his clothes.. but no, apparently it goes way beyond that. ]

Sheesh.. [ That's mostly a 'sheesh-how-could-you-let-a-bird-get-away-with-that' kind of 'sheesh'. ] What kind of bird is even going around stealing clothes, of all things? Was it something shiny?

[ That's the only reason Ange can think of for a bird to steal something in the first place. ]