Deer Country Network

ok so
I know we're all on edge here (understatement of the fucking YEAR I know) so I'm just gonna come right out and say this
if you need to stay somewhere safe for a while come to Turtle Cove, just follow the painted turtles whenever and stay as long as you need
consider the clinic safe ground
if anybody starts a fight I'm gonna throw them out on their ass, if you want to start some shit because of this whole shitstorm, take it outside the premises
also you have to laugh at my jokes bc my ego is fragile under high stress doncha know

[It's not, but he's got to lighten the mood somewhat on this otherwise serious post.]

btw if you see a big-ass direwolf patrolling the grounds give her a big juicy steak she deserves it

[ there's a new arrival to trench. when he speaks, there's a hint of fang peeking out from his mouth. other than that, he seems rather ordinary, save for the pale golden eyes and his clothing — though it'd fit right into trench's stylistic choices. ]

I wish to know . . . what kind of life have you chosen to build here? And why? What do you seek out of it?

[The feed opens up to an aerial shot of the Gate but things are a little different than normal. The normal blood curdling screams of monsters being slain is absent. There is no blood being spilled. In the middle of the arena two large wooden sparring stages have been erected instead, both lined with blue mats with a golden fist in the middle. Johnny Lawrence knew that would bring in the crowd. The omen broadcasting the feed swoops down toward the matts directly at the fist, just before it looks like it might crash it twirls in midair before breaking away and flying toward a podium set up where the two robotic commentators of the tournament are seated. The omen lands on a perch before settling in on a shot of the two commentators.]

Salutations, Trench, and welcome to the First Annual Great Trench Karate Tournament! My name is Penny Polendina--

--and I'm K.

--and together we'll be providing commentary for the competition. Let's meet our instructors!

First, we have Professor Ozpin of Beacon Academy!

Wait, I think...

[ There's a rustling of papers. ]

--Oh, a slight correction. Professor Ozpin is here representing Clockhouse Academy.

[ From the crowd, Black Alice interjects: ] I wanna see all you morons kick butt!

[ Ozpin steps forward, hands folded very delicately over his filigreed cane. ]


[ Ozpin doesn't get to finish his introduction, however. At this point Johnny pushes his way forward and shoves Ozpin out of the way. ]


[ Johnny holds a fist close to his chest. ]


[ From the gathered competitors one can hear Deku, angrily and slightly feral, interject with: ] SENSEI! WE'RE ALL KISSING!!


[ Also from the students, Sayo gives a shout of: ] Cobra Kai!


Uh.. that was Johnny Lawrence of Cobra Kai!

Certainly an... inspiring speech from sensei Lawrence, providing an illuminating glimpse into the lives of his students. ...A tongue?

Second, we have Terry Silver of... wait, what?

Yes, I believe they're both...

... Ahem. Terry Silver, also of Cobra Kai!

[ Terry's been awkwardly watching Johnny this entire time like his speech just made him die inside a little. ]


A sentiment I think we all can get behind.

And here is Sasuke Uchiha and his Super Awesome Ninja School!


Always a man of few words. Speaking as a student of the Super Awesome Ninja School, I'd just like to say that Sasuke has proved himself to be a very capable teacher, as his other students will no doubt demonstrate. Also, the bear rumours are entirely true.

And finally, Amaterasu! ... Is that an actual dog?

And isn't she adorable. Look at that smile!


... Well! You heard it here folks: "Woof!"

Truly wise words from miss Amaterasu. Who's a good girl? Is it you? Yes, it is! --Ahem.

And that's it for our competing schools! Hayato Ichimonji will be serving as referee, and Clark Griffin will be the medic on call.

To all of our participants, good luck and have fun!

[ Johnny steps forward with one last message for the students. ]


[ He then raises his arm up before pointing it specifically at Sasuke.]


[OOC: Please find the Tournament Log here and feel free to jump in.


Red is for Johnny Lawrence
Green is for Penny Polendina.
The darker Green is for Ozpin.
Navy Blue is for K.
Blue is for Terry Silver
Violet is for Sasuke.]

I need something else to concentrate on.

What do you do when you think you like someone?

How can you be sure?

And if you are sure, how do you proceed?

PIZZA MARKET RESEARCH SURVEY #1

1. What are the best pizza toppings (and nothing weird like anchovies)?

2. Thin crust or thick crust?

3. Do you like orange soda?

4. Do you know how replicate orange soda here?

5. What are your preferred pizza eating hours?

6. How often would you use a horse-based delivery service? Would it depend on what kind of horse showed up at your house with the pizza? Would it matter if the horse was fucking terrifying?

Thank you all for your input.

So. Little Trenchlets. I've been here for awhile- [She has been here four days]- and it's hard to keep track of all these people I keep hearing about. So many rumors flying about and it's all so fucking juicy.

So, I'm alone, horny for context, and ready to show mine if you show me yours.

I heard there was a huge party thrown at a house in gaze. A bunch of teens drinking, doing drugs, and kissing with tongues that they just don't know how to use, and providing uninteresting details about alien worms. Completely trashed the place.

Even worse, I heard they robbed the man who let them into his house. Thankfully, he'd warded the objects so if you see a shifty-looking kid or two with their hand blown off, now you know why! There's a moral lesson in there... probably.

Now it's your turn. You don't even have to sign your name. I'm that thirsty for the D(eets).

((Feel free to have your character post "anonymously" about rumors they may have heard about events or themselves in the trench or rumors they want to make up! I highly encourage threadjacking and silliness. Of course, keep it IC, civil, and consider asking permission from others if you think you should.))

[a girl, straight backed and very poised, wearing a fashionable black dress with ravens swooping down over the shoulders to meet under her high narrow neckline, just wide enough to frame the black buckle of her necklace with a silver needle hanging down. her hair is dark and braided tightly back. it's hard to tell in the lighting if it's brown or red. there is what appears to be a sled dog sitting at her feet in a fashionable matching collar.

the parlor she sits in is a bit chintzy, with elaborate wallpaper. weirwood leaves hang incongruously overhead.

she looks and acts as if she's watched several tutorials on setting up your own youtube videos. her smile is practiced but not unkind.]

Hallo, I'm called Alayne Stone. This is Lady. [she pets her canine companion on the head.] Our gracious hosts have helped me find lodgings in Cellar Door, and work making clothes for the Night Walkers here. I would like to make clothes for all of you as well, but I'm afraid I don't have the supplies. Still, if you bring me good cloth and leather, I would be glad to make you what you want. I can make leather shirts, and padding, for those who have need of armor.

You might ask the lantern imps to bring you to the Rookery. If you find yourself in Cellar Door, it's hard to miss the building with the weirwood growing out of it.

[she gestures up and out at the leaves.]

Thank you for your time. And thank you, to everyone who helped me at the inn and the board walk. You've been very kind. I hope I'll have the chance to return the favor.

Oh! Are there any Architects here who do work on buildings? I might need some help with my roof.

[the vibe is spoiled somewhat as she struggles to turn off the recording feature.]

[Ezra has a Sword of Agency laid across his lap when he flips on the camera to his Omni. The very observant might note he's in one of the safehouses Ruby clued him into. He looks thoughtful.]

I've had enough time travel and other weirdness going on in my life for the last year that I wasn't sure how far off my count of subjective days might be. But I woke up to this sword, which gives off some pretty interesting vibes. So either my Blessed Day is a really random day, or it's my birthday.

I'm going with it being my birthday. Nineteen.

I've always pretty much hated my birthday, as long as I remember. Some of it's personal, but even the personal stuff is tied to the fact that the day I was born, the galaxy where I'm from changed, and not, in my estimation - and a whole lot of other people's - for the better.

There's no, like, cosmic or destined implications to the fact I was born that day, by the way. Not as far as I know. Just cause and effect, maybe. Stress can lead to early births, right? I'm just a kid from a backwater planet in a big galaxy. My parents weren't anyone important.

But sometimes my birthday felt like a curse.

None of that baggage came from here. I'd like to try to put some of it down, you know? [He peers towards a window.]

It's looking bad out there, but if you want to brave it, I've got a big pot of mushroom stew on, and I think I'm gonna see if I can get this thing to project a movie. Not exactly a dazzling party, but it's more than I usually celebrate. Some company would be great. Or just talk to me on here.

Any suggestions for a must watch?

Hey, guys!

[Richie looks much, much better than he did last month, now: he had mostly been a depressed mess through the past couple of months since Eddie left, but now he looks healthier. He's outside the Turtle Cove clinic right now, and if you look carefully in the background you'll see Venkman the Mimikyu riding atop S'mores the direwolf, the two of them patrolling around the clinic.]

First: welcome to Trench, newbies. If this is your first time hopping universes, the first thing you should know is that places like this tend to get very bloody and messy every month or so. Kind of like me fucking your mom while she's on her period, but with way more death and people getting fucked up. [This from the fifteen-year-old.] Anyway, if things go to shit and you need help, or a place to stay safe for a while, come to Turtle Cove. Just follow the turtles painted around town.

Second: Eddie [and Richie's breath still briefly hitches, his smile slipping before he steels himself and pushes his glasses back up his nose,] Eddie had a thing going where he was collecting people's blood samples for research. He wanted to see what kinda shit our blood could do here—if you haven't noticed, our blood is weird now, and from what I've learned, [thanks to Eddie and now Nehan,] different blood types have different effects and can be used to craft different things.

Since Eddie's—gone, that means I'm the one who needs to keep that going too. So—come over with a sample of your blood. I solemnly swear I'm not gonna do anything fucked-up with it.

Oh, and the last time I posted, I was asking for healers. I also want Blood Ministers now too, or just anybody who's pretty good at blood magic. Again, not for anything fucked-up, I just wanna make sure that I don't fuck up this project.

HELLO FELLOW SLEEPERS. I WOULD LIKE TO PUBLICALLY OFFER MY SINCERE CONDOLENCES FOR THE TRICKSTER VIRUS I IMPLEMENTED LAST MONTH. A THEORY OF MINE GOT OUT OF HAND AND PEOPLE HAD TO SUFFER FOR IT WHICH IS 100% MY BAD. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD LEADER AND INSTEAD, I FAILED YOU ALL. AS PER FUCKING USUAL.

(Karkat. Holy shit. No one thinks you're their leader. Again.)

PAST ME IS ARGUABLY THE MOST WORTHLESS, IDIOTIC TROLL TO HAVE EVER EXISTED IN ANY TIMELINE OR REALITY. TRULY, HE PROBABLY HUFFS CEILING CHIPS TO PUT TOGETHER BASIC SOLUTIONS. THAT GUY IS SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE PIECE OF SHIT SO I FULLY SUPPORT YOUR (PLATONIC) HATRED OF HIM. HE'S AN ASSHOLE.

TO BE HONEST, I WOULD SUPPORT YOUR HATRED OF CURRENT ME TOO. YOUR FEELINGS OF HATE ARE COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF ME ROYALLY FUCKING SHIT UP FOR SOME PEOPLE. AGAIN, MY BAD.

I WOULDN'T EVEN JUDGE YOU FOR HATING FUTURE ME EITHER.


...


ANYWAY. NOW I HAVE TO EXTRAPOLATE A VERY CRUCIAL POINT: IF YOU CLICK ON A LINK SOME RANDO SENT YOU ON THE INTERNET, YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON. YOU ARE THE DOWNFALL OF YOUR OWN SPECIES AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY FEEL LIKE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN IDIOTSVILLE. CONGRATULATIONS, DICKBAG, I HAVE CRAFTED A DUNCE CROWN SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU. YOU ARE NOW THE MAYOR OF MORONS. DOES IT FEEL SPECIAL TO BE SO STUPID? DO YOU FEEL CONTENT IN YOUR ABYSMAL DEN OF DERELICT THINK FUNCTIONS?

I BET YOU DO, YOU GODDAMN PROTOZOIC ORGANISM. YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN MOTHERFUCKING PWNED BY THE MOST BASIC VIRUS SPREAD EVER AND IF YOU ARE EMBARRASSED, I WANT TO OFFER YOU A FIRM CLAP ON THE SHOULDER. YOU SHOULD FEEL EMBARRASSED.

BITCH.

(--Yeah, okay. Just ignore him. As he said, he gives you full permission to hate current and future him too. Starting now.)

Eddie's gone.

I'll be keeping the clinic open. I think he'd want that. but we need another nurse or a doctor or even a magic healer as soon as possible. I don't know nearly enough about medical shit.

[content warnings: stalking, insensitive terms about mental health.]

someone tell me why there's a psycho cultist on my ass rn??
I've been in a coma for a month and we were midway through October when I was last awake so I missed the fucking memo on these assholes

btw don't worry too hard about me I'm fucking great at hiding and running away by now
but I would appreciate a way out I'm just outside of Cellar Door right now and this hide-and-seek cat-and-mouse bullshit is really putting a cramp in my plans for today