Deer Country Network

[ The video feed clicks on and currently its just looking at a mess of scrap metal, a laptop or two, some other crap. Tonnes of graffiti on the walls. But fear not! Here he comes, HELLO. Up pops this weirdo from the side of the feed. ]

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S GAY MONTH. [ The drama is real, folx. ]

I know there's some other shit going on but that doesn't mean we can celebrate right? AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE being a little gay [ he gets in real close. pinchy fingers here, very small, just a little gay (or like a lot gay, whatever). ] than punching the people you love?

[ His LED display flashes heart eyes. Hands tuck in like some kawaii fucking nonsense. ]SO.

I propose. [ Drum roll please. ] A fight club. For all you queerdos out there that crave violence as much as I do.

[ fight announcer voice activated: ] Tonight, Tonight, Tonight! [ Wrench looks back at the space. ] Uh. after I clean up.

OKAY, BYE ~ 😘

[Lexi sits on her couch with her batcats, Nosferatmew, Mewnos: The Paws of Fate, and her non-batcat, Mewdemic sitting nearby. Orville, her hedgehog Omen, is sitting on his usual place on Lexi's shoulder]

Uh...hey. This is gonna sound weird after the whole Paleblood issue thing, but. I'm a Darkblood and I can feel my powers acting normal. See? [she lifts a large pile of books on her endtable telekinetically]

But I feel like something's wrong. Something bad. Really, really bad. And I can't shake that feeling, it's been keeping me up at nights and I feel...I guess 'paranoid' is the right word for it? I dunno.

[she sighs] Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, I don't know, but if anyone else is feeling the same way? Please let me know. I can't be the only one this is happening to.

Right?

Good morning, everyone. I hope your February was relatively pleasant and uneventful!

The purpose of this post is to share information about the climate and odd events that happened last March, in order to help newcomers better prepare for the coming month. If you believe the information contained herein is inaccurate or incomplete in any way, please let us know in the comments below. Thank you!

March is the first month in the Season of Tears, or the Trenchian Spring. Because of this we can expect a sudden and calamitous thaw in the first week of the month, where all or nearly all of the snow will disappear and be replaced by explosive plant growth. I was unable to find any references to a flood in network posts published during this period last year, but it seems prudent to be on our guard nonetheless. Outreach still has a few sandbags left over from managing the snow, so if you are concerned with keeping your home or place of business safe please contact us! Additionally the Pthumerian called Moon Presence is known to be active during this month, and it may be possible to hear her weeping or singing over the sound of water. As she is not known to be hostile to Sleepers, it's probably safe to ignore her, so long as you do so respectfully.

The same unfortunately cannot be said of the Moss King! This Patron Pthumerian is associated with the month of March, and his portfolio includes unconquered nature, prophecy, precognition, and games of chance. Because of this the people local to Trench honor him by holding carnival games on the boardwalk during March, but with a sadistic twist: last year new Sleepers were required to play these games in order to obtain their welcoming bags and other objects from home. It's also mentioned in A Survivor's Guide to the Unknowns of Trench (multiple authors, can be checked out from the Archive for further perusal) that these games are haunted by a female-presenting Pthumerian, dubbed "the Lady of Luck" by the authors, who is able to pull Sleepers into more difficult and frequently bloody challenges through the issuance of tarot cards. These challenges vary from to year to year, but as the Lady is most frequently encountered on the board week it seems possible that she might be avoided by likewise refusing to take part in these games. If anyone has more information on this topic I once again entreat them to leave a comment below.

The Moss King himself also took part in the "fun" last year: it seems that he either built or obtained a "summer home," and took it upon himself to invite Sleepers to visit him therein. These invitations took the form of enchanted letter bombs with caused instantaneous and complete immolation upon opening; networks posts written at the time are clear that this process was very painful, although it did end in teleportation to the grounds of the house instead of death. Sleepers who braved the house were able to obtain powerful items from their homeworlds; I leave it up to the individual to determine whether this process was worth the pain involved or not.

Finally, a number of Sleepers have reported violent and disturbing encounters with a boardgame called Jumanji; this game possesses reality-warping powers, and pulled Sleepers into a sort of "pocket dimension" where they were forced to pass various challenges in order to escape. The game is clearly labeled as such, and I must suggest in the strongest possible terms that any Sleepers who encounter it both avoid it carefully and report its location to the network. To those who are familiar with the movies: I know it sounds fake, but just because it's a piece of fiction in other worlds doesn't mean it's not dangerous here. If you have trouble believing that, then I suggest you take it up with the Pthumerians, or possibly the Jedi and Sith. I'd be very interested to learn how that goes for you.

[Maul usually only posted once to the network per month, so the fact there was a second post from him and so soon after the first might have been cause for alarm, except he didn't look at all serious. He had a rolled scroll with him. After seeing Savage post on the network, he'd felt it was time to take action.]

It has come to my attention that my little brother Savage is going to be without a date for the second year in a row here in Trench as Valentine's Day approaches. This is unacceptable, so I am rectifying the situation by finding him one. To that end, I have complied a list of his traits for those of you who have not had the pleasure of getting to know him well.

[Then he unrolled the scroll. Yep, Maul had written down a numbered list of all his brother's good qualities.]

Item one: He's tall. Ridiculously so. Which is not pertinent to those of you who are also tall, but for the short ones in this city, it is always good to have someone who can get things off the top shelf and step on those who oppose you.

Item two: He's extremely loyal. It takes him a very long time to open up to you and learn to trust, but once he does, you will have his trust for life. You can't ask for someone who will stick by your side for a longer period of time than he will.

Item three: He's very caring. Related to the above, he always puts himself last and so he'll make sure all your needs are met first. Indeed, sometimes it can be hard to get him to take care of himself even when he needs to.

Item four: He comes with a very cute pet named Ruin who is a rathtar he will gladly show off to you if you come over to visit.

Item five: He is a decent fighter. Considering the perilous nature of this city, it's useful to have someone who knows how to wield a lightsaber or who can gore an opponent to death with his horns on your side. Do keep in mind he may challenge you to a battle in order to start proper Nightbrother courtship, so you may want to bring weapons on your first date.

Item six: He's good-looking. I will accept no arguments on this fact simply because some of you are used to human-centric worlds. Don't be speciesist. The proof speaks for itself.

[He held up a sketch he'd put down next to this item on the scroll to prove his point.]

Item seven: He's good at hunting. When this place eventually collapses into dust, there will be little food left, so it will help to have someone who can track down and kill game for you to eat. Not to mention there might be lean months as it is for one reason or another.

Item eight: He is family-oriented. He is very good with kits and I'm sure wouldn't mind having five or six of his own down the line if the relationship progresses that far.

[He rolled the scroll back up.]

I will now take applicants to be vetted by me first before I set you up with him. Do keep in mind if any of you break his hearts, I will be forced to break you in return, so be kind to him. Go out for a nice dinner or hunt in the woods or have a good sparring match and this will all go according to plan.

[.......Stick around long enough on this post and one might have the pleasure of seeing Savage toss Maul through a wall for trying to set him up on a date.]

[the video opens on Tinya standing up in her usual sunroom backdrop, kittens playing, Carmilla fluttering around on her little bat wings. she's dressed to the nines and she's smirking, although the expression doesn't reach her eyes]

I have a simple, yet incredibly complex question for all of Trench.

Am I attractive? If yes, explain why. If no, do the same. Be as brutal as you like.

[Huaisang doesn't know how to make it anonymous, but he knows how to make a funky new name, so— close enough. This isn't even important enough to be anonymous, he simply has... overbearing brothers. Of a sort.]

HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!



HELP!

[Okay, surely that is a good enough attention-grabber, so moving on to the real (not that urgent) problem:]

Hello! I have a problem, and I need someone to solve it!! I'll owe you one!! Please don't look away or new and worse problems will undoubtedly arise next!!!!

How do you get corruption out of a thing? You know, an object? Can I do that? I've already read about how to get corruption out of a person, but this is different. It's starting to stain my floor...

If it helps, it's something from my home. I don't know if that matters, I really don't know anything about this stuff.

Obviously, I don't want to touch it!! But it's going to be a hassle for me if I can't clean it up. If you help me out, I'll be in your debt!

[Hm he used that one already, well—]

Please help, it's so embarrassing!!!

[The device that lets him communicate with people over long distances is interesting, but Trevor's seen magic achieve something similar before.

No, what holds his attention is the several different vessels of water available in houses. He's standing in a bathroom where the shower, sink and bath all have the water running.]

...I feel like an idiot talking to myself, but if this really works.

[He looks directly at the camera and then attempts to straighten it out (it isn't) before he clears his throat.]

So citizens of this fine shithole, what do we need this much running water inside for?

The well I get-- [He points at the toilet.] But this all seems a bit much.

i: VIDEO PRIVATE to eden

[There's a saga before this that isn't broadcasted to the network at large, but only to Eden via drone: Mike's abduction on the way into Crenshaw, his bout of unconsciousness - the horror of waking, mouth stitched shut, in not quite unfamliar, bloody, hostile territory, clad only in a dull, red jumpsuit - the further horror of realizing he's chained to what amounts to nothing more than the headless upper half of what had once been a Sleeper. It's possible she's seen who and what their fate was. It's also possible she hasn't.

It's the standoff in the Sleeper Farm - floor after floor of dragging the remains of another Sleeper with him, up and up - even when his blood is functional enough he could be rid of the gory baggage he doesn't shed it - that would, in effect, be leaving a man behind, and what kind of thing is that to do? By the end of it, it's become a grudge. And by the time he's in front of that statue, all manner of organs in its hands, he gently unshackles his companion, and then himself, before stomping on the chains until they're no longer chains, but a mess of old wires that disintegrate into nothing but stains on the floor.

His endless rageful shouting - the stitches are long gone, left an aftertaste of ash that's as unwelcome as the rest of this, maybe even moreso.]

Del, to everyone!

ii: VIDEO PUBLIC: omen: username: TENSKULLS/MIKE ENSLIN

[His Omen is not instructed to contain the broadcast to the small circle Mike intends to ask, so she opens the line of communication to all of Trench instead. Mike may have meant "everyone" in the "Sword Wizards and Mike" way, but Delmira obeys in the literal sense.

Mike's blood and its monthly bonus of excitability is doing the Zealots no favors once he's up here. They're glitching as fast as they're moving, somehow they're not close enough to attack, they're never accurate enough, and then they're behind a bubble that's rendered them a slow motion haze, confused and barely audible through it, while he sits on a summoned chair, a growing pile of shirts at his feet that shows no signs of slowing. Every shirt is wrong. Wrong pattern, wrong color, wrong cut. That's a fucking video tape and:]

That is the wrong fucking thread count!! GOD DAMNIT!!!

[He is now screaming (nearly unintelligibly) I want!! MY SHIRT!! with the exact same vibe he'd once screamed as he attacked a mini fridge. If counted, it takes four hundred and ninety nine shirts to get the correct shirt back. And not that he's paying any mind at all to the Zealots besides hurling words:]

You circus freaks are either going to help me find it or you can fuck right off!!! I'm DONE!

[Wrong shirt.]

Why don't you close your eyes, imagine yourself being actually fucking scary, and then open them and weep, you ASSCLOWN!!!

[Two wrong shirts, but closer to anyone who knows the shirt.]

That was my lucky shirt! I was on my way to WORK, you fermented ball sack! My friends gave me that!! Like you know what friends are with that face! Clive Barker called, he wants his whole thing back!

I'm gonna kick you in the dick so hard your vertebrae pop out like a goddamn Pez Dispenser!!

[Not a shirt, but that's a rain of vertebrae shooting across the backdrop if one chooses to look. Mike doesn't - he's too busy yelling.

Shirts flicker out of existence as new ones appear in his hands, and when that last one comes, he goes quiet as he examines it, the flurry and whirl of bloodmad monstrosities outside his shield growing hazier still. He looks up at the statue with a cold calm, his hands clenching and then releasing the fabric, somehow angrier now that he's bunched it up. So he holds it gently now as the wall he'd conjured flickers, fades, and reveals a floor emptied of Zealots - just that statue and its organ offerings. Its blood.

Before he's able to make any further move, there's a pale, pulsing glow that replaces the fading bubble, a pearlescent shimmer as Moon Presence ends this scene just shy of sacrifice, and he's suddenly in his small, messy room at the Sanguine Station, (standing in front of a whole wall of photographs - daughter, wife, brother, various combinations - in most of which his own face is blurry) - holding a bloodied hawaiian shirt - the very same he'd donned for his first day at his new job - which he has now missed.

He looks down at his omen, the screen, blinking. Delmira blinks back, and shuts her eyes, so it's only Mike's voice that asks, after a pause:]

iii: VOICE PUBLIC: omen: username: TENSKULLS/MIKE ENSLIN

How the fuck do I get blood out of a good shirt?

 ( cut for male presenting nipples  )

[ Late afternoon the network gets hit with another malfunction. The device makes an odd noise when he scrolls through his messages in search of his patrol schedule. He stares down at it, pulling back when the click of a camera shutter sounds off followed by a series of quick typing. Congratulations you are now the recepient of a meme that even he doesn't get. ]

( No Pee Pee Here )


[ Have a face filling your screen with a rather odd caption that is and isn't anything like what it sounds like. ]

It's not a pee pee. It's an emergency first aid treatment for when help doesn't arrive in time. 

( This is not Peter Graham, though of course, posting anonymously takes away that possibility. The user didn't want to use the boy's network handle, to inevitably be seen through the filter of "Not Peter."

The user is trying to define his own identity. )

why did you choose your title here on this THING
what is the meaning
?
?

( ...Texting is still something he struggles with, though the demon has been watching and learning and forming his own conclusions on how to do it. Autocorrect is a life-saver. Two questions get two question marks. ....Even if they go in the wrong place. )

i will grant you a
GOLDEN COIN
if you
RESPOND

( ...For those who know Paimon fairly well, that particular offer of exchange might betray who he is. But the demon of Knowledge is curious to hear reasons, and within them: perhaps stories, memories, self-perceptions. There is a meaning to everything, whether simple or complex.

And perhaps by the end of it, he will know what title he would give himself, here on the network. )

[The video opens up on Adaine, stood in front of a board with a map on it. The map is of Trench, but it's old and worn and brown. Still, she has helpfully marked the part of interest with a red X, over a temple in the Trenchwood.]

I think it's been a rough couple of months for us. We've had local assholes stabbing the ocean, we've had the ocean being really mad about that and blaming all of Trench for it because she's kind of an asshole too, there were a lot of murders, houses burned down, uh, been tossed into alternate universes where everything sucks - [She's maybe regretting her choices to bring that all up.] Anyway. One positive thing is that we've established a lot of good things in the last six months or so too. The Sanctuary, the Outpost, now the Academy.

I - and a few others - have a similar venture in mind. An archive where we can research and compile information about Trench, so that even if people disappear into the ocean it's not, you know, lost forever. To start with however...

[She points at the map, tapping on the location in question and bringing the Omni closer.]

A while ago - back in April - there was an expedition into a temple called 'The Temple of the Forgotten Mother'. We didn't get far, barely cleared out the entrance before we had to leave. But I've done a bit of research and there's a giant labyrinth of dungeons beneath it, and beyond that, it was the domain of a cult older than Trench as we know it that worshipped Mother Superior. [And, because she's a dramatic bitch, she smirks for emphasis.] Which brings me to the point.

We're going to put the archives - our archives - The Sleeper's Archives, right on the top level of her system of dungeons. [Objectively an insane idea BUT, consider... it would also be cool as hell.]

So basically, all I need is people who are interested in helping with research, clearing the top level of monsters and traps and treasures and warding away any influence from the lower levels. We'll be going deeper, but it'll take some time, so for now I'm only asking for help with the top level. We need excavators, people who are good at bringing others back from corruption, fighters, architects, investigators, seers, healers... If you think you can help, just let me know and we'll figure something out.

[Tenya's Omni turns on and immediately the first thing that everyone is greeted with is the sight of bright golden fur, but that zooms out to reveal that the fur actually belonged to a full-grown lion. And the one that is working on bringing the screen into focus was none other than Tenya Iida himself, dressed in what once was an almost childish mockery of a gladiator's armor has transformed into a proper suit of armor.]

Friends, Sleepers, and Countrymen, lend me your ears!

My name is Tenya Iida and I seek to test my mettle amongst the strongest warriors. Be you a man or woman or those between or neither- if you think that you are strong I wish to spar with you! Test your strength against a true warrior and stand proud despite your eventual honorable defeat. Fear not, this would not be a battle to the death as one ought to be and all spars shall end with only a handshake. I shall end this proclamation with just one question; Are you not entertained?

[Maul's doing a little better than he has been the past few months. At least he's not all corrupted into insanity like he was for a couple of weeks in July or about to breakdown after his video in June. Sharp-eyed viewers will notice he's got a new piece of jewelry. On the ring finger of his left hand, there's a black, sparkly wedding band made of Darkblood. Yep, Maul got hitched. But who would be crazy enough to marry the Zabrak Sith Lord? A question one can ask if they're feeling especially brave.]

Everyone always thinks they're the hero in their own story. And it's easy to justify that you are no matter what you do because you're the main character in your mind. No one ever wants to admit they're just one of the side characters or even the villain. And how do you even know when you've become the bad guy? It's easy to say what actions you undertake are for the greater good or at least something that will get you what you want. You keep telling yourself that until you look around one day and see the only monster around you is yourself.

[He leans forward.]

I am very fond of stories. So I'll tell you a story about a villain from my world and you can tell me one about a hero or villain from yours in return.

Once upon a time, there was a young man who had darkness in his heart. He coveted power amongst all else and to that end he committed many monstrous acts to gain it. When he saw that his family stood in his way, he killed them all without thought. Over the years, he gained power but it was never enough. Always, he wanted more. Eventually, he realized that no matter how much power he possessed, he would lose it all when he died. And so he sought to gain immortality.

He eventually found a Sith Lord, very old and wise, who told him he had discovered the secret to living forever. "Become my apprentice, do everything that I command, and I will teach you my secret," he told the man. And so he did. Day after day, year after year, he obeyed the Sith Lord, committing many more atrocities in his quest to gain immortality.

He would often ask the Sith Lord, "Am I ready?"

The response was always the same. "Not yet."

After many years the man, no longer as young as he once was, began to grow impatient. He went to his master. "I have done all that you asked. Teach me what you promised."

The Sith Lord merely laughed in his face. "You will never be ready to learn."

The man felt rage rise up within him. "Why not?"

"Because only a Sith who has no fear can conquer death. But you? You will always fear dying no matter what you do and so you will never master the secret of immortality," the Sith Lord told him with contempt.

The Sith apprentice was furious. He felt he had been lied to and so he waited. His master never slept, for he had seen the future and knew he would die in his sleep, but his apprentice was cunning. Eventually, he got his master drunk, and the Sith Lord finally fell asleep. So the apprentice took up his lightsabers, stabbing his master in his hearts, and killing him. Only then did his anger abate and he realized he still did not know the secret to living forever.

He would spend the rest of his life seeking it out and never finding it until the day he died, always shackled by his fear instead of facing it head on and conquering it instead. He used the power he'd acquired to create a vast empire that stretched throughout the entire galaxy but still it was not enough. Always he was afraid of what was to come at the end of his life. And when he finally died, betrayed by his own apprentice as usually happens with Sith Lords, it was done so screaming in fear as he realized he had failed in his lifelong ambition.

[He pauses for a moment, examining his claws without looking up.]

That was a true story by the way. It is called the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. Sith Lords often have a dramatic way of doing things, especially when it comes to teaching their apprentices.

( This question has felt like a long time coming. After everything that's happened, they can't help but want to be able to do more for themselves. The question they ask is something that they want to do purely for defensive purposes, not really for offensive ones. They've hurt others before to a lethal extent. They don't want to do that again.

They want to protect their friends, and themselves. They've been killed here once before as it is. )

There's a lot of people here that can fight really well.

Are there others here who can teach people how to do that?

[Shigaraki looks pretty pleased with himself, his dry lips and proud scar on the left of them making no shy concern where smirking is considered.]

Sometimes I wish popcorn was more readily available here. I've seen a lot of people talk. A lot of people talk virtuously and when it comes down to it? I've seen a lot of people turn against one another, turn against their morals and their preachy speeches when they can't fight the deep dark they denied anymore. I don't even know if I think it's funny. I just think sometimes people think they're so much better.

[There's a shrug of both his shoulders, exaggerated along with a very pronounced and exaggerated pout that brings up his brow well into the mess of white hair that he's clearly leaned up against a building with.]

Look really, really deep into yourselves once you all... Get a hold of yourself again. Ask yourself what you're capable of and then think back to here.

[His head tilts and he sighs, relaxing and slouching back on the building looking still pleased by the whole thing.]

But let's play devil's advocate. What if I saw someone attacking someone else? Help them?

[Crimson red eyes look upward and he mulls very obviously over the question as he tilts his head back and forth in the consideration of what he's thinking.]

That sounds like fun. In fact, if you're in trouble. Message me. I'll come take care of it personally. I just don't want to hear bitching about whatever method I choose, that's all the payment I need. Don't feel safe walking out on your own? Ask, maybe I won't be too busy to escort you. This seems like a fun experiment.

Is this thing on?

[ The camera opens on a man, but there is something horribly inhuman about his eyes: they are black from edge to edge, the iris burning with a ring of white light. He is flanked by two skeletons which stand at attention, each with a speck of glowing red in their shadowed eye sockets. ]

Been a while since I had to do this. Hey, hello, kia ora. You face the King Undying, the Necrolord Prime.

( cw: mild body horror (corruption); religious themes; topics of mass death, violent imperialism, human sacrifice likely )

[ The video opens on a close-up shot of a lizard’s face. Its eyes are unfocused and unblinking. Its jaw is slack. Sometimes, a tongue flops out, and a hand reaches out to shove it back in.

Without warning, the camera DRAMATICALLY zooms out to reveal Kaworu, holding up a large, floppy lizard. This lizard is literally the size of him. Bigger even, if you include the length of its tail]

Okay, Kaworu! [ A very loud, very enthusiastic woman’s voice. ] You’re up! Time to tell everyone about this extremely important mission! Don’t – Kaworu, come on, you have to hold him up, like we practiced.

[ This is interrupted by some unfortunately shaky camera work. ]

Shinji-kun. His name is Shinji-kun and he’s heavy. You should give me the camera instead.

We don’t know what to feed Shinji-kun. He has little interest in eating even though we’ve had him for months now. It’s odd, most creatures, especially basic ones like him, are driven by the need to eat to survive, yet we can’t find anything that he desires. So far we’ve tried… buttered noodles, rice, cereal, marshmallows, grass, leaves…

What else Gideon?

Dried fruit, protein shakes, nice words written on paper notes, my blood, Kaworu’s blood, a rat we found in the backyard one time, bones. You know, regular animal foods.

[ Gideon shrugs, and the camera moves up and down with it. Professionalism!! ]

We know there was this whole baking competition or whatever going down, so, you know, if any of you want to bake a lizard treat we’d buy you lunch or whatever in exchange. Or just tell us how to feed this lizard.

[ Please!! Help! ]

( ooc: Gideon is in red and Kaworu is in blue. Shinji the lizard is undead, but the two of them have no idea. They just love their re-animated lizard a lot and want the best for him.)

[Ladies, Gentlemen, and Others, it's that time again!

Bolin starts the feed, sitting in The Raccoon Room as per his last grand announcement. It's luxurious emerald decor makes a fine backdrop, and for this special occasion he is wearing his sequinned tail coat from the last production.]

Hey all, Bolin here. I know there's a lot going on right now.. adventuring... general tomfoolery... baking competitions! just wanted to take this moment to announce The Raccoon Room's new musical!

After all the success we had doing Rocky Horror I've sat down and read through a mountain of scripts. Literally a mountain. You would be amazed how many scripts there are in this place.

Aaanywho, introducing our latest and greatest, the one and ooooonly CHICAGO!

[Jazz hands! He throws glitter! Where did he get the glitter from! He dusts his hands and goes right back into story telling mode. There are lots of gestures. You're enthralled, surely.]

It takes place in the far off faaaaanasy land of Chicago. It's the golden age of Jazz, and a young woman, our lady heroine, Roxie Hart is desperate to become a successful performer in a place not unlike our Cellar Door. Only our heroine has a dark, terrible secret. SHE KILLS A MAN! And goes to PRISON! Where she meets the infamous Velma Kelly and the other merry murderesses of... murder rooooowwww.

It's got everything, catchy tunes, swell courtroom dramas, slang I actually understand! And now, I know what you're thinking, oh Bolin~ There are so many women in this production and most of us Sleepers are men! Well it DOESN'T MATTER because we don't care about the limits of gender roles and it'll be fine. Just trust me!

So c'mon now! Auditions are now OPEN and will be held this weekend right here at The Raccoon Room. Scenes are attached! Any questions you come right on in here and give me the ol' honk.

[And now, for one grand, final gesture.]

THEEEESPIANS ASSEMBLEEEE!

You nerds don't realize how lucky you were that I got sidelined in a cocoon during that tournament. Any of you who were in the Unarmed Combat Division are feeling like you didn't get enough? Let me know cause I'm itching to kick some asses into the dirt... especially the winner's. That was MY fucking title.

[Locked from Ochako]

On the subject of HER, listen up.

I'm looking to throw her a thing. A party, or whatever. She's gotten screwed outta her birthday between the last shithole world we came from and here, and I know how much it's gotten on her nerves every time another one of our birthdays rolls around. Since time is a fat ass lie and no one can stop me, I'm taking the initiative and aging her up. 27th of this month, still figuring out the place. Will update once I know where it'll be.

Besides the birthday crap, anyone who knows her knows that she deserves something fucking nice for everything that she does for other people.

If you're friends of Ochako Uraraka, you'd better be there. Unless you wanna get your ass blown to pieces.

And say so, so I can get a damn headcount for food and shit.