Deer Country Network

Greetings, Trench!

[ Ford offers the feed a friendly wave. Behind him, a considerable pule of beans sits on his workshop table. ]

Those of you that have been here for some time might remember a coffee bean duplication project I started a couple of months ago. At the time the results were rather underwhelming, and the beans I managed to produce had approximately a third of the efficacy of normal beans.

It's taken some tinkering, but I believe I've finally perfected the process! I'm looking for volunteers to help confirm that this batch is indeed true to life. You can stop by my workshop to retrieve a bag like last time, though the Prosperitea House cafe has also requested a batch if you'd prefer a single serving.

Help yourself, and please be sure to tell me how it tastes!

EDIT six hours later

[ The feed clicks back on and this time Ford looks a little frazzled, but also a little excited. ]

Hello again! If you retrieved some coffee beans from me earlier and you haven't already used them, I strongly suggest that you do not use them and instead return them to me immediately.

[ And now excitement wins out as he adds: ]

However, if you have tried them since then I'd appreciate it if you could inform me of what happened when you did!

( OOC )
This is the IC companion post to the player plot I'm running! Click here for more details.

cw: discussion of frogs, small emeto reference



Some of you are getting Very Dramatic about frogs. So they're big? So what?

But, I understand that most people don't know much about them, and that they can really freak people out if they're not expecting them. They can be very startling when they jump and get stuck in your clothes or hair.

Now, I don't claim the title of 'expert' here. There's always more to learn about everything, and calling yourself 'expert' just narrows your thinking. But, I'm certain that I've studied frogs, other amphibians, and their habitats for longer than many of you have been alive. So if it helps, call me your 'local expert.'

I don't have access to my full archive right now, so we'll keep this simple.

FROGS 101: THE BASICS OF SURVIVING AN ENCOUNTER

Frogs are a unique creature that has adapted to life both on land and water through multiple means which serve as a double edged sword for them. Their strengths can also in fact be their weaknesses, and knowing how to exploit these will increase your odds of safely surviving an encounter with the giant versions of these creatures.

1) Frogs have a very thin, permeable layer of skin. This is what allows them to breathe underwater, but it also makes them susceptible to injury from materials we would not think twice about. The very oils on our hands can injure smaller frogs if they're handled improperly. This also makes them incredibly sensitive to topical pain relievers and changes in temperature, which will be discussed below.

2) Along with their delicate skin, frogs also have a quick metabolism which is aided by the impressive supply of blood that is supplied to their skin. Topical pain relievers can quickly render them unconscious.

3) While most people, mammals, and birds can regulate their internal temperature on their own, frogs cannot do this. They are usually called 'cold blooded', but this just means that they regulate their body temperature through their environment. Making them too warm will slow their reaction time. Making them too cold will make them sleepy.

Use this information as you will.

Other factors to remember:

1) Frogs have incredible strength in their rear legs, which they use for leaps that can be up to fifty times the length of their own body. Do NOT try to engage if they are fighting with their legs. You will not win. Outrunning them in a plain foot race might also be difficult. Use your wits to find your escape.

2) Frogs have tongues that are incredibly soft, flexible, and are covered in a special substance that both hardens and liquifies in reaction to the movements of the prey they have captured. It is extremely difficult to escape this substance, as it can be hard enough to hurt if you approach with force and yet it turns into something soft and pliant if you move slowly and take your time. This may or may not be possible. Do NOT engage. If you do get caught, your best defense will be to trigger the gag reflex. It is Unpleasant.


With everything said, I will close out this primer. Feel free to ask any questions, and I will see if I can answer.

- Perell

P.S. If any of you manage to learn anything interesting, please tell me. I want to work on rebuilding my archives. Thanks.

[The video flicks on and a girl in a blue denim jacket with pointed ears and round glasses struggles with positioning it right, even as the video is already playing. She takes a step back, sitting in a chair opposite the camera on a desk that's just full of papers.]

Um, hi. I think it's recording? Yeah, it's recording... Hello. [She clears her throat and adjusts her glasses. She speaks with a nervous somewhat nasally british accent that rings of 'very educated and also somewhat traumatized by it'.] So, I wanted to make something of an introduction, since I've heard that people show up a lot here. It's a bit overwhelming, the amount of information there is to learn about this place, but I'd like to get through it as quickly as possible.

My name is Adaine Abernant. Back home I was something called the Oracle, which is a title that was sort of just... dumped on me, but it does have meaning. Uh, basically it means I get prophetic visions, both of the future and events happening in the present. [Technically it's the 'Elven Oracle', but here's the thing. Fuck Fallinel and fuck the elven government.] On top of that, I was also a student at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy and a wizard of the Divination school, which works similarly to how Paleblood magic seems to work, at least from my initial observations.

So, uhm, the point of all of that is that if you have something you'd like to find out, a prophesy, or something to find, I might be able to help. I'm still figuring out how to work it now that it's all mixed with Trench's native blood magic. And as an adventurer, I'm also used to helping people out if they're in trouble or there's a largescale threat.

[She pauses and peers down at one of the papers, a list of some sort, and then continues.]

...On top of that, and the larger point of all this is, I'd like to learn as much about Trench's magic, metaphysics, cosmology and society as possible. I'm doing my own research, obviously, but if anyone wants to share their own notes or experiences, or even just point me in the right direction, I'd really appreciate it.

[ Starring: Tuck, Vyng, Billie ]

Hey. Hey! LOOK OVER HERE, EVERYBODY!

[ Great! Now that he has your attention, he gets to the point of this commercial interruption. ]

I have, uh, something to say to all of you. [ The large man unfolds a piece of paper and begins reading from it. ]

Amara, not Laura,
You are my destiny,
A mysterious mistress fated to me—Ah fuck, wrong piece!

[ He is already floundering twenty seconds in, but Vyng, the wild haired half-elf standing beside him hands over another cue card.

"Here you go, buddy," he offers. ]

Thanks. Um, "This is our son Fat Billie." [ You better believe these lines are spoken as woodenly as possible. ] "Say hi Billie."

[ After an awkward beat, Tuck squats down and picks up his round little halfling son, covered in his usual raccoon skin to hide his ginger hair. In Tuck's giant hand he looks the size of a basketball.

"Hi Billie!" the little boy greets, hands covered in something like gravy or chocolate.

Behind him, Vyng laughs. "Nice." ]

"He needs someone like you [ And then Tuck pantomimes to the video screen, pointing stiffly to his audience. ] to be his friend! Come—" uh, "Come eat lunch! Take afternoon naps! Eat more food!" Uhm, "Pet cats!

"If this sounds good to you, please apply!" Oh, but no nerds, though! Or adults! Like 18 year olds tops!

[ "Yeah, don't make this creepy," Vyng adds with a judging eye. ]

Yeah, don't be fucking gross, old people! He's a child!

[ "So, no nerds, don't be creep-os, must love gravy! If this sounds like you, like and subscribe!" Vyng points down to the bottom of the screen, which Tuck does not get. ]

Are you pointing at your dick? Point to Billie!!

[ He takes one of his friend's hands and points it at their fat little son.

"Now like and subscribe!" ]

[ Terry's wearing his Cobra Kai gi, his hair tied back neatly in a ponytail. He looks neat and sharp, and so do his surroundings. There isn't a single particle of dust in sight, but there are enough personal touches - a slightly tilted photograph in a frame, an opened bottle of wine on the shelf - that it's not too mechanical. He's approachable, he's friendly, he knows how to market himself. ]

I suppose I should introduce myself. I'm Terry Silver, also with the Cobra Kai dojo. I see Sensei Lawrence has already made quite the introduction.

[ Derogatory. The neutral and abrupt tone with which he says it is perhaps more biting than any sneering or snarking could be. ]

My style differs from his [ It's way, way better is what he means. ] so I'd also like to extend an open invitation for any students interested in learning karate who might prefer my approach. This won't conflict with Sensei Lawrence's classes at all. The more the merrier, I always say.

[ He absolutely intends to create conflict with Johnny's classes. ]

My personal approach emphasizes the psychological elements of fighting as much as the physical. That doesn't mean my training regimen is any less intense, we'll just be adding some extra elements of strategy into the mix.

There is no initiation test in my dojo; it's my job to make sure you succeed regardless of where you start. Willingness to show up and commit is proof enough for me.

I'd especially like to invite anyone who is interested in learning but worries that they may not be strong enough, anyone who needs help facing their fears, and anyone who has been a victim of bullying. [ You know, if you've ever been bullied by people like Johnny Lawrence. ] Of course, I will gladly welcome anyone who is interested in my methods, those are just examples of students I've excelled with in the past.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (38) Looking for something with no strings attached? Tired of the awkward fumbling of a person who doesn't know what they're doing? Seeking out an attentive lover who gives you all the time and energy you deserve for a lovely evening? Then look no further than Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master. General of the Republic. Known galaxy-wide as the Negotiator, he will see to your satisfaction

✓       ✕

[The feed opens up to a crooked shot of a building that screams abandoned warehouse vibes. Out of frame is a man in a black karate gi standing next to a grandfather clock with the words "Professor Dongspin" written on it in green paint.]

Now I just got here but I've been seen a lot of talk about free fighting lessons. But we all know that in life you get what you pay for.

You want to really kick the competition? Then you need to get your ass down to Cobra Kai.

Screw that weird ass fairy tale bullshit. Learn from someone who drinks raw eggs, not pansy ass hot chocolate.

You'll learn bone crunching, face smashing, all American Karate. For the reasonable price of your blood, sweat and tears.

We're not going to be doing any self-defense, It's time to learn self-offense.

Don't be a pussy. Join Cobra Kai and let me teach you the way of the fist.

[And then leaps into the air and delivers a spinning kick into the grandfather clock which collapses and smashes against the ground.

The feed cuts out shortly after.]

[The feed opens on a young man, perhaps just newly past his late twenties. He also looks...ah, a bit rumpled, like he hasn't gotten much sleep lately. Which is, in fact, not inaccurate. Who needs to sleep when there is Science to be learned?????

He may or may not have slept in the Archives a few times. It's very easy to get lost, okay. Anyway. He makes to reach for the device that he's just turned on, when he knocks over whatever Trench's equivalent of an energy drink is on the Omni, which he hurriedly rushes to clean off.]

Whoops. That's um, not how I wanted to start. [He clears his throat.] Hello! I'm Jayce Talis. I'm...new, I guess? Sort of. I might be a couple weeks late to this part.

[He sort of ... gestures to the area around himself, which might be a lowkey disaster zone of books and notes, and laughs a little to himself.]

This place is incredible, though. It's like a library and a museum all in one and it never seems to end, I've never seen anything like it.

...Where I came from, I was a scientist researching how to harness magic and bring it into the hands of the common people. It would've revolutionized our world, but it's practically commonplace here. There's so much to learn, and I've barely scratched the surface.

[He pauses then, expression going thoughtful with a slight frown.]

But there's challenges as well. I've heard of Corruption, Beasthood, the pollution that taints the soil and makes many crops unable to grow....

I feel that we Sleepers are uniquely positioned to meet these challenges head-on. And that's why I would like to propose a systematic study of the magical properties of our blood. I believe that with a thorough enough investigation, we'll be able to not only isolate the source of the toxicity that induces Blood Pollution, but we may be able to identify risk factors and produce treatments for Corruption and Beasthood. After all, if it is an illness like any other, it must be responsive to the correct medication, right? We just have to find it.

[And maybe that's the least he can do in Viktor's honor, if he is here for the foreseeable future, if not...forever. There's a sudden pensive twist to his features at the thought, and he looks off to the side.]

Also...on a more personal note, I had a question. There was a sense of--being reborn, upon coming out of the ocean. Is that...because we're all dead?