text | un: IMISSMYTOWER | forward date to 3/10 (Not Misfire)

[frogiturgy]

cw: discussion of frogs, small emeto reference



Some of you are getting Very Dramatic about frogs. So they're big? So what?

But, I understand that most people don't know much about them, and that they can really freak people out if they're not expecting them. They can be very startling when they jump and get stuck in your clothes or hair.

Now, I don't claim the title of 'expert' here. There's always more to learn about everything, and calling yourself 'expert' just narrows your thinking. But, I'm certain that I've studied frogs, other amphibians, and their habitats for longer than many of you have been alive. So if it helps, call me your 'local expert.'

I don't have access to my full archive right now, so we'll keep this simple.

FROGS 101: THE BASICS OF SURVIVING AN ENCOUNTER

Frogs are a unique creature that has adapted to life both on land and water through multiple means which serve as a double edged sword for them. Their strengths can also in fact be their weaknesses, and knowing how to exploit these will increase your odds of safely surviving an encounter with the giant versions of these creatures.

1) Frogs have a very thin, permeable layer of skin. This is what allows them to breathe underwater, but it also makes them susceptible to injury from materials we would not think twice about. The very oils on our hands can injure smaller frogs if they're handled improperly. This also makes them incredibly sensitive to topical pain relievers and changes in temperature, which will be discussed below.

2) Along with their delicate skin, frogs also have a quick metabolism which is aided by the impressive supply of blood that is supplied to their skin. Topical pain relievers can quickly render them unconscious.

3) While most people, mammals, and birds can regulate their internal temperature on their own, frogs cannot do this. They are usually called 'cold blooded', but this just means that they regulate their body temperature through their environment. Making them too warm will slow their reaction time. Making them too cold will make them sleepy.

Use this information as you will.

Other factors to remember:

1) Frogs have incredible strength in their rear legs, which they use for leaps that can be up to fifty times the length of their own body. Do NOT try to engage if they are fighting with their legs. You will not win. Outrunning them in a plain foot race might also be difficult. Use your wits to find your escape.

2) Frogs have tongues that are incredibly soft, flexible, and are covered in a special substance that both hardens and liquifies in reaction to the movements of the prey they have captured. It is extremely difficult to escape this substance, as it can be hard enough to hurt if you approach with force and yet it turns into something soft and pliant if you move slowly and take your time. This may or may not be possible. Do NOT engage. If you do get caught, your best defense will be to trigger the gag reflex. It is Unpleasant.


With everything said, I will close out this primer. Feel free to ask any questions, and I will see if I can answer.

- Perell

P.S. If any of you manage to learn anything interesting, please tell me. I want to work on rebuilding my archives. Thanks.

Comments

Voice;

[wapples]

Oh my goooddd. This is so boring! Even Wicker fell asleep reading it to me! Who needs to know all this stuff about stupid frogs anyway? All anyone really needs to know about them is they die if you throw a knife in their stupid face!

Voice;

[frogiturgy]

Billie, I'm surprised at you!

[Perell huffed.]

We all know you're especially talented with your knives, but not everyone is as skilled as you. They need a chance, too.

text; @skywalker

[facultative]

[This is who Obi-Wan decided to go on a date with? It is now an obligation to save his master from his awful tastes.]

Are you a frog person?

text;

[frogiturgy]

[That was a puzzlingly direct question.]

Only in the way that a person who likes cats can be called a cat person.

Why? Is there something wrong with frogs?

un: eudaimonikos; video

[eudaimonikos]

Boy, you'd really get along with this friend of mine back home. That guy really loved frogs.

video

[frogiturgy]

Hey, Michael.

[He grinned. For once, he rather appreciated having a landlord...]

Everyone's acting like the frog thing is weird. I spent a lot of my life in swamps and rivers, and frogs are much nicer than the catfish!

un: sallyface ; text

[sallyface]

thanks for taking the time to write this
gotta question though
any tricks to spotting them/signs they're around before its too late for someone who is kinda too visually impaired to see them be sneaky???
because damn

Text --> Audio

[frogiturgy]

[An embarrassed cough comes quickly in reply.]

Sorry. I didn't think that there'd be people who are visually impaired trying to get to this. It just didn't cross my mind.

[Says the dweeb with thick, round glasses.]

What kind of impairments are we talking about? Not that it makes a difference with frogs, because most of them are very well camouflaged unless they're warning of a toxin in their bodies, but it might make it easier to share information in the future.

audio | un: Teal Deer

[spiritwalks]

🎵 I like Fat Frogs, and I cannot liiiie.
But here's the skinny on how to surviiiive— 🎵

ONE! Frogs are hecking sensitive!

Wanna slow 'em down?
RAISE THE TEMPERATURE! (No sweat!)
Wanna make 'em sleep?
Drop that temperature! (Now sleep!)

Wanna knock 'em out?
Don't call a wrestler! (No way!)
Rub 'em down!
With some numbing medicine! (Make 'em numb!)

TWO! Frogs will throw some killer legs!

Wanna race a frog?
Think again! (They're really fast!)
Wanna take a hit?
Think again! (They'll kick your ass!)
So keep your head straight!
And find a bypass!

THREE! Frogs got some crazy tongue game!

Wanna kiss a frog?
Stay away! (It makes you hard!)
Wanna hug a frog?
Stay away! (It makes you soft!)
Seriously, guys! Stay away!
But if you don't...


Make 'em gag.

[Cue a highly-realistic cacophony of frog croaking that slowly fades out for dramatic effect.....]


[That's it. That's the summary. You're welcome 🐸]

[frogiturgy]

[There's an obvious laugh in reply as Perell quickly cuts to Audio. He knew that baritone anywhere.]

Thanks, Vyng, for the musical interlude. Did I miss anything?

Video; UN: Willow

[frogfear]

[Why. Why'd it have to be frogs? Couldn't it, just for once, be killer bunnies, or something else a little less creepy? This is a lot of detail, but the giant frogs are less concerning at the moment than the other point Perell has made with this post.]

You studied frogs this extensively? Are you even sure these frogs are just normal frogs, but, you know, bigger? And they don't have some weird powers that frogs only have here?

[All of this is so very disturbing.]

Video

[frogiturgy]

Hi, Willow.

From what I'm hearing, they do sound like mostly normal frogs. They're just a lot bigger, and for most people that means bigger headaches. I made this post hoping to get some info, too. So, if someone's seen something I haven't covered, they can bring it up.

[A shrug. He wasn't too worried.]

But yeah. I've spent most of my, uh, career working with frogs. They're quite interesting, especially when you're collaborating with a friend who studies different parts of the ecosystem.

text; un: Oracle; private

[adaine]

[Wow... he's an even bigger nerd than she is. He has good taste in animals, though.]

This was an interesting read, thank you for sharing.

I have a frog familiar. I named him Boggy.

private

[frogiturgy]

And thank you for the kind commentary. A lot more people than I expected seem to think this is weird.

It's great to meet a fellow fan of frogs. Boggy is an excellent name for a familiar.

text; un: stanford

[cryptograms]

I've found that firearms are a remarkably handy way of dealing with them! I'd recommend a minimum output of 500 watts on any sort of energy weapon.

text;

[frogiturgy]

Oh, that's new. I'm not a Ranger, so I've never had reason to think about distance weapons before. The Bullywugs never gave Me any trouble.

Others have had different experiences.

text | un: graham crackers

[possessum]

man I wish I'd known the part about the tongues before I got eaten by one

( PETER'S HAD A REALLY BAD TIME WITH FROGS.... )

[frogiturgy]

Sorry about that.

I'd have gotten this up sooner if I had known about the problems before.

Did it actually swallow you, or did you find a way to escape?

Video | Clickclickbloom

[onekindsoul]

[About half an hour after Perell makes this post the feeds opens up to a shot of a ceiling. There's the sound of snoring but it's hard to say where it's coming from. That is until Ruby's face comes into frame falling onto the screen of the omni.

She apparently fell asleep reading this.]

[frogiturgy]

[Oh.

This was.. something.

Perell frowned at the feed for a moment before stumbling upon an idea.]

Uh. Ruby. There's a dragon off of the starboard bow that's looking for lunch. What do you do?

text || un: wheeler

[micycle]

sort of sounds like you've been eaten by a giant frog before

[Presenting: a little teenage shit.]

[frogiturgy]

Please.

The Bullywugs would Never.

audio; un: jk21a

[hearuthinking]

You a zoologist or somethin'? [He's just going to save this information for later. He hasn't run across any giant frogs, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared]

[frogiturgy]

Let's say 'or something'. I'm not sure most people would get it, if we're being honest.

[Even depowered, he was still a wizard with some manner of immortality who had spent the better part of a century researching and modifying frogs for his purposes.]

Text; un: lothrat

[ezra_of_lothal]

Hey, thanks for the run down.

For the record, I also sometime miss my tower.

Text;

[frogiturgy]

Of course. Sharing knowledge is crucial in situations like this.

And, thank you for your understanding. Although I haven't set foot in my tower for over a century, I still miss it. Honestly, since no one's been maintaining it, the stone is probably in shambles by now.

The best option is probably going to be demolishing it and rebuilding... if I ever see it again.

text; UN: RoseStorm

[thunderingcourage]

Wow, it's like Bio class all over again. Electricity seems to work on them pretty well.

text;

[frogiturgy]

That's a good point. Electricity WOULD work on them because of their predisposition to stay in boggy habitats.

Thank you!

text | un: jessie☆sama

[snakesdonthavelegs]

waow your way better at this than my science teachers were! ( ˙▿˙ )

Text

[frogiturgy]

Thank you! I like to think of myself as a teacher. My only current student just isn't very interested in what I'm trying to teach him

text | un: boneadept

[necrosaint]

Thank you.

Text

[frogiturgy]

Anytime.

I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to be interested in what I shared. It just seemed important, with the frog problems everyone is complaining about lately.

Did you have any questions?

text; un: lookingforshinsengumi

[tealeafs]

dear mister and or madam perell

thank you so very much for sharing all this information with us
it is so kind of you to do so and also very informative i really did not know much about this since i have not seen a frog in a long time back home and these here seem very different
if you dislike the word expert then i would at least like to say that you seem like an incredibly knowledgeable person and i am very impressed by both your kindness and your intelligence

[ Look, some people might call it over the top flattery.

But Chizuru means every single word here. ]

i am sorry if this question is not very relevant but reading all this has left me very curious
why did you study frogs this much
do you just really like them
thank you very much in advance for giving my question some consideration

Text; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

You forgot something also important: they can be quite delicious.

[Look, one never knows when the meat supply around here is going to run out, so might as well start cooking up some frog legs!]

text; un r.hansen

[lefthemisphere]

gotta agree with mister darkness, frog legs are delicious